How exactly does "soap" kill bacteria?(are these chemical "toxins!

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For the most part, soap and detergents get rid of germs by suspending the bacteria etc, so that running water can rinse them away easily. It is one of the reasons why most signs you see in the restrooms insist that you wash for at least 20 seconds (well, they do here and in Canada).

I happen to make soap - and it's oil, lye, and water. If you want to increase the lather, you can add sugar, if you want a harder bar, you can add salt. The lye reacts with the oil and is totally neutralized within a matter of weeks. So you can have a very "pure" bar of soap. They can also add some really odd things. Read the labels.

I'm not against most detergents, but there is a list of other things they tend to add that I'm not keen on - fragrance, formaldehyde, etc. I happen to be allergic to many of those - and when it comes to laundry detergents and household cleaners there are all kinds of things I'm not keen on - optical brighteners are very difficult to avoid. However, I digress - they mechanically (by force of water as well) remove germs. Products that contain anti-microbial ingredients obviously contain chemicals to kill germs - the vast majority of people do not need them, and they contribute to stronger germs in the long run. Simply don't use them unless needed. Pick household cleaners with as few ingredients as possible. Clorox (of all people) just came out with a line of household cleaners endorsed by the Sierra Club (no kidding). I'll vouch for the spray cleaners. I prefer Ecos detergent.

People didn't really do a good job of staying clean before soap - and they didn't do all that great of a job of it afterwards until running water became common.

So - we are lucky to be able to stay as clean as we can, all things considered, but if you want to avoid things, it can be done.

Edit: Yeah I use a 72% olive oil 28% coconut oil mix - which I think is the best compromise in terms of clean/stripping the skin/lather (and coconut oil is cheaper here than palm) and I still like to add a teaspoon of sugar per pound of fat - it gives you bigger bubbles instead of a tight lather. Yeah, I'm fussy about my bubbles :) Lol.

Soap doesn't actually "kill" bacteria -- the surfactants allow the germs to be lifted off of surfaces so that they can be washed away. It's the anti-bacterial soaps that are a problem, because they trigger the bacteria to mutate and become resistant to the anti-bacterial agents, in effect creating superbugs like MRSA that can't be killed with anti-microbials.
In disease transmission there are two issues: exposure and susceptibility.
It was Ignaz Semmelweis who is credited with the theory that if doctors washed their hands they could reduce disease transmission between patients. He published his theory in 1861 and the other physicians ridiculed it as nonsense. Disease is still spread in hospitals by doctors and nurses who have been caught on video NOT washing their hands or changing gloves between patients. So 150 years later we still have the same problem from the same cause.

you're confusing soap and detergent. Soap is simply oil/fat reacted with lye. You can knock the stuff up yourself easily in your own kitchen.

People died before soaps were used. In fact it was a Hungarian doctor who discovered that simply washing your hands in soap and water between patients knocked the death rates down by an order of magnitude. Can't remember his name off the top of my head, there's a museum dedicated to him in Bubapest.

" If you want to increase the lather, you can add sugar,"

The more traditional way is to add palm oil which suds, olive oil doesn't hence the good old soaps (Palmolive is still going) tended to be made from - well the clues in the name - palm and olive oils

You need to do a simple bit of research, because you have no idea what you are talking about.