Do I have Borderline personality disorder?!

Labels aren't really going to help. These terms, like 'borderline personality disorder', 'social anxiety disorder' etc are just attempts to describe - they don't have any objective reality but are used to help 'shorthand' ideas and to guide the prescription of medication or particular forms of psychotherapy.

What is 'wrong' with you is that things are all rather tangled up inside. It sounds as if you are terrified of being abandoned and this suggests that there are issues from your childhood that could best be addressed through psychotherapy. If you are in the UK, you might be able to get psychotherapy on the NHS through your GP but it could be a waiting list of a year or two and may be very limited when you do get it. If you can afford to go privately, search for a psychotherapist at http://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/ or http://www.bcp.org.uk/ I really hope you are able to see someone, as it must be awful for you to feel like this so much of the time, and life could be much easier and more fulfilling.

It's true that issues of abandonment are a key element of borderline issues, but, as I said, this is just a description and doesn't add to what you know about yourself. Everyone has some borderline elements, as it is a result of a developmental stage which rarely goes perfectly. For most people, it doesn't cause major problems but for a few people it does. But I emphasise that giving your individual suffering a label is not going to help in any way. While you might have some things in common with other people labelled as 'borderline', you are uniquely you. That's why psychotherapy is a good route to take - it will deal with the uniquely individual you, not a label.

Edit: I think the problems you are describing are ones that deserve getting some help for. I was simply answering your actual question which was about whether you had borderline personality disorder, but if the question you really want answering is whether it's worth seeking help, then the answer is yes. However, I don't think a doctor is the right person to get help from unless you need to see a general doctor to get a referral for psychotherapy. A psychotherapist is the person who could help you.

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Please don't think that I'm trying to make light of a serious condition. I'm not trying to sound mean, but why do you need a label? Will it change anything if you find out that you have borderline personality disorder? Will it change the way you act? It seems to me that you just want the attention that comes with saying you have all these disorders.

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