How to deal with depression?!
Question: my boyfriend suffers from serious clinical depression. I love him more than anything in this world and I've been supportive and patient with him. we've been dating a year and a half. After 9 months of dating he "pushed me away" for 2 months. When he came back he aplogized said how dumb he was and said that when he gets depressed he isolates himself and pushes people he cares about away.
Well I took him back after he promised to never do that again. He acted amazing for about 3 months then he pushed me away again.
He said he loved me and still wanted to be with me when I asked but he keep on acting like this so I asked him again about a week later. he then said he "guessed" he wouldnt to be with me. When I told him that wasnt very convincing he said he needed wanted to break up because he needed time and was tired. I asked if he still loved me and he said "will it make it any easier if I say no?"
Can someone please help me understand his actions? Do you think he loves me?
Answers: my boyfriend suffers from serious clinical depression. I love him more than anything in this world and I've been supportive and patient with him. we've been dating a year and a half. After 9 months of dating he "pushed me away" for 2 months. When he came back he aplogized said how dumb he was and said that when he gets depressed he isolates himself and pushes people he cares about away.
Well I took him back after he promised to never do that again. He acted amazing for about 3 months then he pushed me away again.
He said he loved me and still wanted to be with me when I asked but he keep on acting like this so I asked him again about a week later. he then said he "guessed" he wouldnt to be with me. When I told him that wasnt very convincing he said he needed wanted to break up because he needed time and was tired. I asked if he still loved me and he said "will it make it any easier if I say no?"
Can someone please help me understand his actions? Do you think he loves me?
Becka, this situation WILL drag you down emotinally if you not carefull. I mean you personaly. I've offerd my thoughts to your other questions, let me add now. You might should consider therapy or counceling for your self if you going to stay in his life.
Your friend Jim
What do you mean by pushed you away?
Are you saying he broke up with you?
He sounds a little like a breakup artist....
I really don't know, but I don't think it would be good for you to go through your whole life that way. He may love you but you still don't want to have that happining every couple months, that would be terrible to go through the rest of your life. Wouldn't it? Maybe it would be better for you to call it off and think of finding someone else.
Stay or go? Accept or object? Believe or mistrust? Go wild or play safe? All plans and policies are flawed. All have repercussions and implications. We can sit and think about these forever, but should we think or should we act? Right now, you are beginning to feel a little overwhelmed. You feel that you have to make a difficult choice. But actually, you don't. The choice is due to be made for you by various factors beyond your control. You'll feel a whole lot better once this happens.
}{}{][][}{}{[][]{}{}{}{}{}{{}{}{}{][][...
I've had depression my entire life..countless therapy..seems like nothing really helped for so many years. My relationships were greatly affected. He really can not control whats happening to him unless he really reaches an understanding of what is really going on. You can't help him, only he can. If he can find a good therapist he has a chance.I was lucky my husband understood my mood swings and my, what I called "down time" that's when I wouldn't even get out of bed. He would be so patient, help me get up and actually walk with me down the street just to get me up. We divorced over other issues, but looking back I now appreciate all I had put him through. It was far from being easy for him.I'm like 90 percent better now and when I feel it creeping up on me I recognize it and fight it and it goes away.I feel for you if you are in love with him, it will be a long hard road. God bless.
I'd print, or refer him to my post, below, and explain to him that depression often recurs, so the treatments need to be maintained, and that you have a life to lead, and will definitely not continue to be at his beck and call in future. Whether you think he is worth one more chance is your decision, but make it plain: IT'S HIS LAST!!! See depression treatments, at ezy-build *(below) in section 2, and consult a doctor, to eliminate thyroid problems, etc. as possible contributing factors: also seek a referral to a therapist using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy. It is your decision, and yours alone, as to whether to take any antidepressants offered, but, before you do, read section 1, and check medications out at www.drugs.com so you will be on the lookout for side effects, like sexual dysfunction. My strong recommendation, however, is to follow the advice of my doctor, his associate, and also Marcelle Pick, OB/GYN NP, and Dr. Mercola, as well, at http://www.mercola.com and avoid antidepressants (pages 2V, and 2Z refer, & antidepressant websites: page 2). The reasons why we all share the same view on this are explained in full, as you will find, if you read the whole section. All of their advice, (except prayer, because many people are not religious) I have incorporated into the "core treatments", including others as options, such as herbal remedies, Inositol, or SAMe. If you are diagnosed with clinical (major) depression, antidepressants may be necessary for a while, which will give the treatments time to become effective. The antidepressants themselves need at least several days, or even many weeks to become effective. It's a good idea to taper off them slowly, with medical advice, after several months, say, to a couple of years, at most, because they are only effective in the long term for about 30% of people. Because of this, you would be well advised to begin the treatments immediately, and maintain them. I'd just thank your mental health care provider, and pocket the prescription, trying the treatments for a few months, to see if they are sufficient for you, before considering filling it (unless clinically depressed, and having great difficulty functioning, or suicidal, in which case I'd take them). If the amount of daylight you have been exposed to recently has reduced, perhaps due to the change of seasons, see Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) in section 2, at * http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and, instead of taking 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily; replace 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements (or a teaspoonful of cod liver oil), for the winter months only! Consider having your doctor test your vitamin D levels.
people that are depressed think about stuff on a whole different level than most people they read in to things really deep and make every thing there fault and then try to find a way out so they don't have to deal with it. he probably does love you but don't understand how to get involved with you without making everything his fault. it could be the dumbest thing that triggers it, like you saying you don't like something.
I think you have to make up your mind.
What does he think you are? a door mat?
I suppose he's just not that in to you. He's not worth it. If you're stuck with him for the rest of your life, misery is what you'll get. What you experience now might always happen. So think again.