I would like to improve my self-discipline, anybody been there?!
Question: It's very difficult for me to get motivated to do something unless there's a an outside factor, like a deadline or an evaluation. I'm learning German, I would like to start learning piano, I'd like to learn Italian too, coiffe my hair every morning, read 12 books every year, and exercise. But I can never do these things alone unless I'm been pushed by someone or something. How can I learn these things and be completly independent? I just feel like self-discipline, hardwork and independence are the perfect recipe for success and that I should work on those...Anybody been there and found a way to improve their self-confidence??
Answers: It's very difficult for me to get motivated to do something unless there's a an outside factor, like a deadline or an evaluation. I'm learning German, I would like to start learning piano, I'd like to learn Italian too, coiffe my hair every morning, read 12 books every year, and exercise. But I can never do these things alone unless I'm been pushed by someone or something. How can I learn these things and be completly independent? I just feel like self-discipline, hardwork and independence are the perfect recipe for success and that I should work on those...Anybody been there and found a way to improve their self-confidence??
Set smaller goals for yourself that together approach the main goal you are shooting for. Take time every week to assess how close you are to meeting those goals. If you meet them, reward yourself with something. If you don't meet the goals, you don't reward yourself. If you find that you reward yourself less than half the time in a quarter, it is time to reevaluate your goals. The goals you set may be unrealistic. Bona fortuna! That is Good Luck in Italian.
Congrats! You are on the right track just by thinking about these life goals. Motivation plays a huge part in the exercising of self discipline and willpower. You have to have some kind of motivation to do everything you do in life.
Self-discipline and hard work are the keys to success. Laziness should be a sin. To motivate yourself simply understand that will power and self-discipline go hand in hand. You need the willpower to start whatever it is you want to do and you need the self discipline to carry on where the willpower left off and this will go round in circles.
For a specific task you might only need to engage your willpower once and self discipline will carry you through to your goal. On the other hand you might have to engage your will power a hundred times before your goal has been reached.
There are certain steps needed to kick your willpower into action: What is it that you want to do, and by when? Make a list and set dates for completing goals.
Don't just think about goals, get off your butt and do them. Once your goals are complete, write them down in a book, and describe how they made you feel by completing them.
Personally I think that you might be setting you self too many goals all at the same time...aslo the goals that you are setting you self some of them such as piano can take a life time to master....There does not seem to be anything wrong with your self confidance just that you want to be good at soooooo many things all at once....even the most motivated person would not place such high expectations on them selves.
slow down and accomplish one thing ar a time..or a couple of things that are not too heavy..ok you are learning german..and you could easy read a book whilst doing that and you could exercise with a german learning tape or cd on a portable play..while walking.
Its great to see some one with so many goals but to see that you feel that you feel that you are letting yourself down by not being able to do all of them indicates that the goals are too many and too high.
good luck
My Grandpa told me this story:
A Miller built his grist mill on the east side of a river that was a perfect site to grind flour - the stream thast powered the mill's paddle wheel ran true and strong all year long. The rail road came thur within 50 yards, and had put in a spur right up to the mill to load the miller's flour. His was the only flour mill for hundreds of square miles around, and he was an honest and fair man.
The only problem to be had was getting grain to the mill - and this was the farmers problem. All of the farmers who raised grain to be milled lived and raised their crops on the west side of the river. However all along the west side of the river was a treacherous mountain range that could not be passsed by cart except by two passes and a small river. These three routes lead down to a good road that ran along the edge of the west bank of the river that delivered on to a ferry that crossed the river at the Mill.
To reach the river road going by road through Pass "A" was a long trip - for this was the safest pass, but the longest route. If you took this route it would take you a minimum of 10 days to reach the mill.
If you chose Pass "B" the trip was far more direct - but also far more treacherous. This "road" was more like a steep and broken goat trail, wagons some times had to be portage'd in spots. If You braved this shorter route, you might make it to the ferry crossing in 5 days.
Lastly was the water route. You could barge your goods down thru the river pass, where there was only moderate white water in patches, then into the big river and cross the river to the Mill. The risks on the big river were loggerheads, sandbars, whirlpools, under tows, and Riptides. However if you were a good pilot and lucky, you could make the ferry in 2 -3 days.
But no matter how you come or how you got there, that Miller he don't ask but only one thing: "How good is you're Grain?"
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you find you can not achieve the lofty, (and worthy), goals you have set for yourself ALONE, (Completely Independent), -
then get a partner(s) to help, mentor, and motivate you. After all which is more important - that you TRY STUBBORNLY TO DO IT ALONE and fail or drop out because of frustration,
or that YOU SUCCEED BECAUSE YOU TOOK ON A TRAINING PARTNER.
Having a heathy sense of self-worth is a good thing, and it is important to cultivte it in others too. Additionally - we all have an ego, and it's important to maintain a health ego too - without becomming an insufferable boor. So yes Self-discipline, independence, and hardwork are a recipe for limited personal success;
However, self-discipline, hardwork, a positive attitude, taking ownership of the work, being willing to admit that you are wrong, seriously looking at the other guy's point of view, being able to drop one concept and move in the totally opposite direction with fresh enthusiasum in addition to being a team player are a much better recipe for success.
A good way to improve self confidence is to:
(1.) Dress for success. If you Dress Like a winner, you will feel like a winner.
(2.) Know the Business you are in. Every busines has it's own unique "Language" and protocols. Know these, the chain of command, and how things work, and who makes them work. Sometimes it's not who you would expect.
(3.) Be early - Say late. Hey - traffic's going to be better anyway, you will get a better parking spot, and make sure to send an e-mail first thing and last thing to people above you that matter, and who can further your career along - something of some substance - just so they can see that you are IN early and leave LATE, - especially if you are on salary. If you are hourly - make sure to charge only 8 hours a day - unless you get overtime approved ahead of time.
(4.) Ask a partner in the firm to be your mentor. Pick the person you most admire - and the person that you sense might respond favorably to such a request. Before you do, sit down and right up a mentorship program that outlines what it is you want to be mentored for, a position you want to be groomed for, - your goals for the next year, 5 years and how you plan to accomplish them
(5.) Go the extra mile and to take ownership of your work. Volunteer for committees and other office functions.
(6.) Memorize each person in the firm's full name, position, and as much as you can about them. Wife or current GF's name, Children's name, where they live. What they like to do as a hobby, interest, what they would like to be doing at the firm in addition to their assigned duties, what talents do they have that are going unused, and unappreciated? Who likes who, who hates who. Don't be a busy-body, just keep your ear to the ground, and become informed. Be a friend to all.
(7) Read the Company Manual, and makes sure you understand what is acceptable behaviour and what is not - on both the part of the company and the employees; so if you need to stand up for yourself you can do so calmly and neutrally - and not in a threatening or angry manner, as such:
"I beg your Pardon, Mrs. XXXX, but I think you may be incorrect on that accusation, and an implied wrong doing on my part. Before we proceed any further with this issue perhaps we should take a moment and review the Company Manual of Practice, where, if I am not mistaken, I am allowed to take the action that I did, under the guidelines provided."
Start small, accomplish one or two little victories every day. Make realistic goals, and don't over do it - with trying to accomplish too much all at once - which for most of us is a recipe for failure. Good Luck!