This sounds pathetic.?!


Question: I am 14 yrs old..
I have social anxiety (doctor told me it was "MILD" agoraphobia) because i have a fear of vomiting and it really gets me down.
I haven't been to my Grandma's house for around 6 mths. It's a big thing because she lives a couple of hrs away, and we always go as a family..
I was meant to go yesterday and I haven't gone. I feel bad because i promised her i'd go, when i haven't. She hasn't phoned or had any contact with me at all since then. Last time I spoke to her was Monday..
I don't know how to speak to her. I think it would sound offensive to her if I said I couldn't go over because I "have anxiety". She's laughed it off before and will probably do it again. When really I can't go over because I am scared of vomiting! I need help badly!
How do i speak to her?
It's vital during the xmas period!


Answers: I am 14 yrs old..
I have social anxiety (doctor told me it was "MILD" agoraphobia) because i have a fear of vomiting and it really gets me down.
I haven't been to my Grandma's house for around 6 mths. It's a big thing because she lives a couple of hrs away, and we always go as a family..
I was meant to go yesterday and I haven't gone. I feel bad because i promised her i'd go, when i haven't. She hasn't phoned or had any contact with me at all since then. Last time I spoke to her was Monday..
I don't know how to speak to her. I think it would sound offensive to her if I said I couldn't go over because I "have anxiety". She's laughed it off before and will probably do it again. When really I can't go over because I am scared of vomiting! I need help badly!
How do i speak to her?
It's vital during the xmas period!

I believe I suffer from agoraphobia also... How often does a person vomit? I think of done it twice in the past 3 or 4 years. It's not something that is likely to occur on a trip to your grandmothers. Keep that in mind. Also, if you do feel the need to vomit you always have the sanctuary of a bathroom.

I think grandmothers and older ppl find anxiety disorders "laughable" because (for better or worse) back then ppl didn't really talk about that kinda stuff. I think today we have much more time to focus on these little things, rather than actually struggle just to survive - not having the time to worry about anxiety.

I'm trying to mediate to help my anxiety. They say it helps.

just tell her what is going on.

I have no clue but i hope you figure it out asap...just try talking to her about it she might suprise you on how she acts

Kid, if you ain't on something, you need to be.

Sounds like your stressed.
Just relax, run a bath and clear your head. As for phoning her. Just say i'm sory i couldnt come i was feeling sick or something. its a little white lie which wont hurt her.

why dont you ask your parents to talk to your grandma? I'm sure she'll understand..

What makes you afraid to vomit? A therapist would probably try to get you to work on it by actually vomiting. Until you deal directly with your phobia it won't get any better. Try to think of the first time you realize you were afraid to vomit. Go sit in the car and see if you get nauseated. Talk to your parents. If you try these, when you start feeling anxious, slow your thoughts down and tell yourself, I'm not going to vomit. If needed, there are over the counter anti-nausea medications that might make u feel at ease. You could try it for a short trip. DO you go to school? Leave the house? Good Luck and email me if you want.

Be assertive and perhaps you should discuss this with your doctor.

Interesting... I had a similar problem when I was younger, I was scared to go places because I was afraid that someone would vomit... and actually, I was also afraid vomiting myself. In 10 years between 8 and 18 I did it just once when I had the stomach flu. So it's really amazing how powerful sheer will can be.

I think the best thing to do would be straightforward and tell her you're having really bad anxiety, without going too much into detail. Apologize and tell her you wish you could be there, but you just can't. Could your parents talk to her at all about it so she realizes that it is serious? Another idea is that you could send her a card and explain it all there if that would be easier, and ask her to call you, or call her after you know she will have received it.

But most of all, try to work on the problem! You don't want to miss your next holiday with grandma, because, well, grandmas don't live forever. So do your best to get the anxiety under control so that you won't miss anymore precious time with your family.

Phone her up to see how she is. You are 14, so your school work is very critcal at the moment, and next week would be your last week at school before christmas, so surely you have a lot of deadlines. You have a genuine reason not to go, hopefully once you've had a little more help and support you can look forward to seeing your grandma.

Are you on any medications?
And you shouldn't be afraid to go over to your Grandma's house, she loves you and wants to see you.

Tell her again that you're having anxiety issues, and you don't appreciate her laughing about it, because its showing an immature attitude on her part, and it makes you feel bad.

If you have a fear of vomiting that should not prevent you from going to your grandmother's house for Christmas.

Stop using your anxiety as an excuse to participate in life.

Buy plastic bags of your liking and carry them with you. Also buy those wet wipes individually packaged of your choice and carry them with you. If you need to vomit either go to the toilet or if not then use a bag.

"This sounds pathetic?"

Yes, it does sound pathetic and also a great excuse.

It's mind over matter and somtimes you just have to stop focusing on your anxiety and do what you need to do to live a life.

If the doctor said it was mild and did not prescribe anything then you have the ability to overcome this, please do.

Good Luck.

This is not pathetic at all. I was caught in a Tornado when I was 11. About three years later, PTSD, caught up with me and for 2 years I wouldn't leave the house unless my parents forced me to.

While there is medication that can help, you are young and it is really unknown how these meds affect a maturing brain.

I recommend Hypno-therapy. It is what cured me. They aren't going to make you cluck like a chicken or anything. This isn't a side show.

I licensed and certified hypno-therapist will help you discover the underlying root of the fear and teach you how to overcome it.

The great thing about it, is it usually only takes a few sessions to get you well enough to start functioning again.

As far as your grandmother, she comes from a generation where they tell you simply to suck it up.

That is something that is not healthy for you. Try to explain to her the overwhelming dread that comes over you when you are forced to leave the house.

Explain that you need her understanding and support through this difficult time. Hopefully she will understand and provide the support you need.

Talk to your parents and ask them if they can set up a consultation for you. You and they can listen to what the therapist says and then decide on a course of action.

Good luck and God Bless





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