I still feel guilty over my cats death!!!?!
Question: My cat died even though I did every thing I could to help him on his time of pain. He died a few months ago but I still feel bad.Some person told me it was all my fault and it affected me greatly but I know I am a great pet taker and I have had pets all my life. I tell myself this person does not know me to judge me but my obsessive mind keeps reminding me. Plus that person attacked me in a vulnerable time. In my mind I say it is stupid but it just keeps popping up.
Answers: My cat died even though I did every thing I could to help him on his time of pain. He died a few months ago but I still feel bad.Some person told me it was all my fault and it affected me greatly but I know I am a great pet taker and I have had pets all my life. I tell myself this person does not know me to judge me but my obsessive mind keeps reminding me. Plus that person attacked me in a vulnerable time. In my mind I say it is stupid but it just keeps popping up.
What that person told you was terrible. You don't ever tell someone something like that when it involves the death of a loved one, especially not at that vulnerable time, like you said, right after the death. (My mom is going through the same thing right now with her husband's recent suicide, she blames herself and his daughters are also blaming her.)
I've lost a few pets before, where I think about it afterward and worry that I didn't do everything I could, or how could I have done something different so they didn't die, or didn't suffer as much. What it comes right down to, is that you can't change what happened, and only you know how you loved that pet. You can also use the experience to learn something (like what warning signs of illness or injury to look for when you have another pet, or how to prevent certain deadly accidents), so you might be able to spare another cat the same fate.
If you believe in an afterlife, like I do, then you know that your pet now knows how much you loved him or her, and doesn't want you to grieve anymore. Even if you don't believe in heaven, you can take comfort in knowing that pets are really good at sensing our emotions, and your cat did know how much you loved him, and I'm sure he knew that you were doing all you could to help him.
I think what you should do is find ways to stop thinking about it. Maybe train yourself not to. I'm sure it wasn't your fault at all and all living creatures die sooner or later. It was just his time to go. I think you should be sadder about his death more than the idiot that told you that his death was your fault. Remember your kitty for all the good times you had, not his death.
I know how you feel. My kitten got hit by a car a few years ago and I still feel guilty, because I was the last one to let him out the door.
It'll go away with time...you might always think about it.
It's alright. If you knew that you have no sin about the incident, then you have nothing to do with that. Tell them it's not your fault. If they did not believe, don't go with them anymore. You're right. They don't know you.