OCD - Obsessive Compulsion Disorder?!
Question: Ok, I need some advice here. My son just found out today that his girlfriend has OCD. She told him that she has to open and shut her window and door 4 times before she can go to bed. She also said her mother had to lock and unlock the front door 36 times before going to bed.
I told him there was medicine out there for such things and she could get help. He however is calling her a "freak of nature" making fun of her and walking around trying to imitate her. I told him if this is something he couldn't handle he should break up with her, yet HE will NOT let it go, he is obsessing over her obsessing. Can anyone give him some advice? I personally don't think it's that big of deal, yet he is devestated over it.
Answers: Ok, I need some advice here. My son just found out today that his girlfriend has OCD. She told him that she has to open and shut her window and door 4 times before she can go to bed. She also said her mother had to lock and unlock the front door 36 times before going to bed.
I told him there was medicine out there for such things and she could get help. He however is calling her a "freak of nature" making fun of her and walking around trying to imitate her. I told him if this is something he couldn't handle he should break up with her, yet HE will NOT let it go, he is obsessing over her obsessing. Can anyone give him some advice? I personally don't think it's that big of deal, yet he is devestated over it.
I have OCD, take anti-anxiety meds, and literally no one in my life has ever suspected it. The only people who know are who I choose to tell.
I say this to let you and your son know that this girl can't help it AT ALL it's just like any other disease and that, with a doctors help, she can live without it effecting her daily life.
Let him know that... yeah, it is definitely weird or strange to watch someone open and close a window 20 times and freak out if you try to stop them.... but, in truth, no one picks it just like no one picks bipolar disorder or cancer or to have a deformity. And, although most people with this disorder develop a thick skin as it's soo easy to make fun of... it still is not helpful, productive, or fair to mock someone for something they can't control. She may truly be getting hurt by his behavior, even if she doesn't show it. And having an anxiety attack everytime you can't lock and unlock the door 36 times is probably painful enough.
He shouldn't be that worried about it. If he thinks that she is weird because of her OCD, he should break up with her. If he doesn't, then he should stop calling her names because it probably hurts her feelings.
Your son needs to understand that everyone has difficulties. I have adhd. Someone has a problem with that? Tough luck for them. Explain that in every other way, she is normal, and that she is not a freak. If he cant understand this, he may be out of a girlfriend.
Actually OCD can be cured in some people. Generally, it entails gradually increasing exposure to what they're obsessing over, coupled with preventing them from performing their compulsive behavior. It's done by experienced psychiatrists and psychotherapists only. It's not 100%, but some people can be cured.
For example, if a person is obsessing over dirt or germs and feels compelled to wash her hands 160 times per day as a result of it, an experienced therapist can get her to start by, say, touching a pen or desk or something and not letting her wash her hands. Then it could progress to dirtier things, like door handles, etc. Depending upon the success of that, they can progress to the point of putting dirt on her hands.
This is NOT something to be messed around with by amateurs. It's for experienced psychiatrists and psychologists to do in a controlled environment at a SLOW pace.
His making fun of her won't make it any better, and it may make her feel worse about herself. He is probably not mature enough to be with someone with OCD.
People with mental illnesses do NOT enjoy living with them. Your son would do well to learn about the illness before making fun of it. Education is the answer to stigma so get him an education on it. Out in life he will meet hundreds of people who suffer from various afflictions. Ask him if it's funny to be missing an arm or leg. True, they aren't the same thing, but the person really can't help the way they are in either case even though there's treatment for both right?
Here's another question for him to ponder. If and unseen force made him slap himself painfully every day, would he think it funny?
Best of luck to you both.
First of all, that is very cruel in calling her a freak of nature and that needs to be corrected. Second, OCD can be quite a problem, almost crippling. For him to make fun of her not only makes it worse, but hurts emotionally as well. He must stop making fun of her immediately. I suspect he gets a cheap thrill, making himself feel superior, by picking on her who has a very serious condition. If he cannot respect her, understand what is going on, they should not be together.