Temper issues???!
Question: Hey ppl...i have crazy issues with my temper... I get angered so easily that i dont consider the person i'm lashing out at... Be it my parents or my elder bro or anyone around... just bout 10 mins ago i got mad at this customer at our shop... just coz he was arguing with me ...i tried to explain and finally i told him that ur a brainless creature... lol... What do i do to b a calm person, have a cool temper??? by the way im 17!!!
Answers: Hey ppl...i have crazy issues with my temper... I get angered so easily that i dont consider the person i'm lashing out at... Be it my parents or my elder bro or anyone around... just bout 10 mins ago i got mad at this customer at our shop... just coz he was arguing with me ...i tried to explain and finally i told him that ur a brainless creature... lol... What do i do to b a calm person, have a cool temper??? by the way im 17!!!
Ok, it is not Ok for people to treat us disrespectfully. If they do we feel angry. That is normal and healthy. Is this where your anger is coming from? People who do treat us disrespectfully deserve whatever they get I reckon, maybe they will learn to be respectful around us.
However, there are good effective ways to express ourselves and not so good rather ineffective ways. Lashing out is inneffective because everyone thinks you are in the wrong and they don't learn anything about themselves or how to treat you. YOU are responsible for teaching people how to treat you. If they are making a mistake and getting it wrong then it is your job to correct them. Demand respect from everyone. Tell them how it feels for you to be spoken to like that. Tell them what you need from them, and what you would respond better to that they might try instead. If they don't respond to this in a positive way then walk away. Just walk away. If they can't treat you well then they don't deserve, and haven't earned, your attention.
An Assertiveness course might help you to find good ways to deal with things like this.
Alot of times people think that it cant be controlled. The truth is that it can be controlled, its just super hard to do so. Just try to concentrate on deep breathing. You may not be able to get your anger to subside per se, but you could act like you are if you relax, and then scream into a pillow or vent in safety to a friend once the situation has been handled like an adult.
it only takes a second to lash out, but if you take the time to think about what you are about to say or who you are saying it to it can make a world of difference.