I feel like I am under a spotlight when speaking, is this stupid?!
Question: I am desperate to overcome my confidence problems, I was always ridiculed and called names in my school years for how I looked and a speech impediment which isn't really a problem anymore.
Before all of that I was so confident, speaking to the whole school didn't bother me.
But because when I was young loads of kids used to ridicule me for saying words wrong and repeating words I said and laughed at me, I always hated speaking out loud and attention of me.
I messed up like presentations because I lost my confidence in speaking out loud and after that I feared such situations because I feared humiliating myself. So I avoided it, but when I had to do it I messed up more with my nerves, just really struggling to get my words out.
It just seems like bad experiences and the beliefs I developed that I will fail each time has made speaking situations really difficult and anxious.
I want to change my beliefs, can anyone tell me how I should be thinking in such situations?
Answers: I am desperate to overcome my confidence problems, I was always ridiculed and called names in my school years for how I looked and a speech impediment which isn't really a problem anymore.
Before all of that I was so confident, speaking to the whole school didn't bother me.
But because when I was young loads of kids used to ridicule me for saying words wrong and repeating words I said and laughed at me, I always hated speaking out loud and attention of me.
I messed up like presentations because I lost my confidence in speaking out loud and after that I feared such situations because I feared humiliating myself. So I avoided it, but when I had to do it I messed up more with my nerves, just really struggling to get my words out.
It just seems like bad experiences and the beliefs I developed that I will fail each time has made speaking situations really difficult and anxious.
I want to change my beliefs, can anyone tell me how I should be thinking in such situations?
I will be serious for once. I have and have had this problem for a long time. It started years ago when I was a bingo caller. One day as I was calling numbers I suddenly had a panic attack. It was really scary and I had to put the mike down and stop. After that night I never done bingo calling again and as a result every time I have been expected to talk in public I have refused cos I feel that scared. My life would have been completely different if I had never had this problem. What can a person do about it? It is a phobia. Can we break phobias? Yes but they don't last long. It's like being scared of flying, you can calm yourself for one flight but your just as scared next. If you find an answer then let me know.
The more you do it, the easier it becomes (public speaking that is!). I was the same as you until I joined a local amateur drama group, and that has helped me to overcome all fear of public speaking. I even sing in public! If you are 100% sure of your lines (in a play) or what you're going to say in a presentation, then there should be no problems. It's only when you're unsure of what you're going to say that you start to feel nervous.
What does it matter what other people think? There is nothing you can do stop people having opinions about how you look, talk etc. You have to just keep trying, do it more and more. I know it's difficult to put people's opinions out of your head but you must try. It's your life and you need to be happy. Just remember that everyone, literally, is insecure about something it's just that some hide it better than others.
Good luck to you and be happy.
Hey there. :)
firstly, u can go to your family,friends or anybody you trust for help.Dont bottle your feelings up - it will only make it worse by doing so. You must also feel free to be yourself again, to be more relaxed with talking to people.If u are planning to be making a speech/presentation again in front of people, you can practise it in front of a small audience - like your family/friends.
And one more thing, you say that this problem was caused by your a group or people laughing at the way you spoke when you were young right?Then do you want them toprove that they are right?You have to show them that you are better then what they think!Prove them wrong!! :)
I hope what I said helps.^.^
Hi there, you're definitely not alone. It's normal to believe that you're going to fail every time you speak in public if you've experienced such negative feedback in your childhood. However, you're an adult now, and you know that you no longer have a problem speaking. You've already won half the battle. Everyone gets self conscious when they have to speak in public. When I was in middle and high school, I was so shy of speaking in front of people that I got labeled "the quiet one". Whenever a teacher would call on me in class, I'd turn bright red.
One day, I got up the nerve to change all that with the encouragement of my mom who happens to be a child psychiatrist (doctor, not therapist). She encouraged me to try a technique called flooding - exposing myself to my worst fear which was public speaking. As a result, I ran for student council and got up to speak in front of over 400 students. I thought I was going to pass out but the fact is I didn't.
After that moment, I was so proud of myself for doing what I thought was impossible that I cried tears of joy. It didn't hurt that my classmates elected me as class treasurer for the next 3 years either. :)
Even today, I keep telling myself that if I can do that, I can do anything. Believe it or not, I'm currently in the center of the spotlight everyday working as a teacher and doctor where I'm expected to give oral presentations on a daily basis. After several years of practice, it has become second nature to me. I'm sure with time, it will become easier for you as well. Good luck!