I'm bipolar, do I have the right to refuse service?!
Question: I work at the mall, and every now and then... usually once every couple of weeks or once a week I would get a rude customer. Since it's the holidays, it's more like five times a day. I'm cheerful for the most part. But sometimes I'm feeling indifferent so I don't look like I'm a slave on crack (cashiers always smiling). Anywho, when customers start making a scene and start acting like bitches, I start to loose my temper. It changes quickly, and I start talking back. I can't help it, but if I don't do something, I'll explode. Sometimes I'll have to completely ignore them and tell them that someone else will help them, because I will honestly do something that I'll regret. Like today, some lady was being stupid and said: "DOES SHE KNOW WHAT SHE IS DOING?!" All because I wouldn't give her a coupon. I snapped back at her and my co-worker said that I had devil eyes. No one at my job knows that I am bipolar. But when I'm pushed to a limit, I go on an angry rampage.
Answers: I work at the mall, and every now and then... usually once every couple of weeks or once a week I would get a rude customer. Since it's the holidays, it's more like five times a day. I'm cheerful for the most part. But sometimes I'm feeling indifferent so I don't look like I'm a slave on crack (cashiers always smiling). Anywho, when customers start making a scene and start acting like bitches, I start to loose my temper. It changes quickly, and I start talking back. I can't help it, but if I don't do something, I'll explode. Sometimes I'll have to completely ignore them and tell them that someone else will help them, because I will honestly do something that I'll regret. Like today, some lady was being stupid and said: "DOES SHE KNOW WHAT SHE IS DOING?!" All because I wouldn't give her a coupon. I snapped back at her and my co-worker said that I had devil eyes. No one at my job knows that I am bipolar. But when I'm pushed to a limit, I go on an angry rampage.
Are you on medications? Are you following a treatment plan? I think you need anger management.
I am Bipolar and with my medications and therapy would never act out in this way!
With symptoms like yours, you shouldn't be asking whether or not you can refuse your customer's service. You should be asking whether or not you can refuse mental health services.
I think it is important for you to understand that you can not use bipolar disorder as an excuse for your behavior or reactions to someone else's behavior. You may need to find a job that does not involve hands on customer service. I agree that it is important that you stick up for yourself but there is an appropriate professional matter in which it should be done. If you go through life thinking you act a certain way based on the fact that you are bipolar you will never learn to take responsibility for your actions. You need to speak to your Therapist about this and hopefully he or she will sit down with you and map out a plan in which you will agree to follow when others make you angry. You do have control over your emotions and someday you will see that. Take care and God Bless!
Have you been diagnosed with bipolar? If you have you need to get the meds you level you out, otherwise learn to except the consequences of your behavior. Good luck!!
hey i would not let all these idiots get to you on here they don't know what they are talking about and i know where you are coming from you sound like a sweet girl as a cashier but when people start to say the wrong thing infront of you you get pissed that is mean of course in my book i would had done the same i do think its normal and i am not on any meds or councling or anything but hitting a kid with a school book man i would not have the nerve good job hehe even though i was thinking about hurting my principal at school when he accused me of doing somthing on the bus and no i was not doing nothing so i slam the door wide open hehe and cryed and then he yelled at me and i was not looking good
You come on here asking for our thoughts and then you insult people like Mommy and call people retards!!! You are extremely rude.
Get a job away from people. And get some anger management. And before you tell me I don't know what I am talking about - I have been diagnosed with bi-polar and I am sectioned under the community mental health act.
You need to get medicated and learn some more appropriate ways of dealing with your anger.
It's your job to deal with people politely, however obnoxious they are. It comes with the job description.
Your bipolar is ruling you. Are you aware of this? You are not in control, the disorder is. This is a very unpleasant and uncomfortable state to be in. Anything can set you off.
Why are you adverse to seeking help from a doc? You can feel so much better. These infractions will no longer bother you. You'll take them in your stride.
You can be a calm and happy person. I hope you decide to see a psychiatrist.
You're probably in the wrong field for your condition. You should find a job that is more suitable for you, one that comes with insurance. You need to be on medication and you also need therapy to control your condition. Otherwise, you'll always struggle with this. Bipolar is very difficult, and a lot of bipolar people constantly go through jobs. Nip this now, or regret it later. Try www.nami.org to find people who are similar to you so you can get peer counseling, which is free.
Hi hon... i have bipolar disorder too... bipolar 1, to be exact....
sounds like you do too.
if your diagnosis was only two months ago, you have a long, wild ride ahead! there are many symptoms of bipolar disorder, and you can find loads of websites by doing a search on the illness.... informative websites, forums for support, chat sites.
figure out which symptoms pertain to you (we do not have EVERY symptom, considering we are all individuals). once you know, you could even write them down.
work on YOUR symptoms. not the entire list... because you won't have every one of them, and not all of the time. Your symptoms are unique to you.... and sometimes you will "even out" and feel normal, too.
when YOU start to get to know something about bipolar disorder, you will hopefully stop the reactions and control yourself when you can....
by the way mental retardation is also a mental illness issue.
But this IS SERIOUS!!! people like us NEED a therapist and help to learn to cope... so spouting out to someone that you aren't going to a psychiatrist because "you can't afford one" isn't very kind or appropriate.. (um i don't know what the answerer said to provoke you into saying you don't need a psychiatrist/ therapist type medical professional. truth is, i didn't look). In any case, rudeness need not be a symptom of bipolar disorder.
it's best to be informed... and YES it's almost always necessary to get treatment... and therapy helps us.. we might go to therapy for a year, and stop....and next time a couple months, etc. whatever we need.. Once we are familiar with our symptoms we DO realize when we NEED help, because bipolar disorder is usually very manageable...
there are LOADS of counties within the united states who provide free or low cost therapy and psychiatric help and even free medications for those of us with mental illness... so all may not be lost. You can check your phone book or call the local health department for more information. I worked a low-paying job at one time, and all of my medical expenses, including therapy, psychiatrist AND meds were paid for on a state grant funding program.
if there is no county mental health center, sometimes private counseling center business offices will help a person apply for grants.
a therapist can really help you once you figure out your major symptoms... it works when we WORK IT and put the effort forth to help ourselves.
i'm here to tell you that meds alone don't help, and sometimes it takes a lot of switching drugs to find the ones which do help... then after a period of time, those might stop working and we have to switch yet again. it's like a curse... but doesn't have to stop your entire life.
One thing i found VERY helpful is to count to 10 or 20 in my mind before i respond to anyone or before talking to another person at all... i do this quite a lot, and started with my kids, who really tried my patience sometimes.
With practice, counting in our minds helps us to stop the knee-jerk comments, and possible reactions we may have... and sometimes it helps us to realize when we need to shut UP! (believe me, i know this from personal experience).
It's a great attribute to be independent and capable, but others do deserve a measure of respect. And even if you are feeling impatient and overwhelmed, just COUNT! You can also stop and take a breath, or take a BREAK if your co-workers can manage to give you one....that might help.
bipolar disorder isn't a reason to act like a lunatic, or lose your temper, or throw things at people (but i've also done that before too!!! -- not recently or in over 20 yrs).
NORMAL types lose their temper and do strange things too... just because our day isn't going well, doesn't mean we have to make everyone else miserable. this goes for everyone, not just bipolars.
My story goes like this, if you are interested... was raised in an abusive, alcoholic home... abused in every possible way you can think of... i was never sure about how to cope so eventually tried to self-medicate with alcohol... was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 22, diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder at 37. i "lost time" a lot, was manic quite a lot, then i'd get terribly depressed. i was too damned stupid to seek therapy until i was about 35... even though it was highly recommended to me for literally YEARS.
so i was an alcholic, who dissociated, and whose life was terribly out of control. i used alcohol to "solve my problems" or to ease my symptoms... it never helped.
I went to jail a couple of times because of alcohol...
Mom died, i was devastated. Was supposed to share ownership of her house but my sister decided to just take it for herself... i went bonkers.
and eventually slammed my car into a tree on purpose, breaking several major bones...
this was just a few years ago -- so i reverted to self-destructing instead of hurting everyone around me anymore.... i'm still trying to recover from that accident and the life mess it put me into.
i have no car, no "home", and lost everything i have.. furniture, belongings, you name it, it's gone. i'm on disability, but recovering well enough and i believe i will be able to work again in the next year or two... i can finally walk again (couldn't for over a year due to two botched surgeries)... all my fault of course, because i caused the broken bones.. what did i expect?
I hope you will use some GOOD COMMON SENSE when doing things in your life... be dignified, and act like a lady. don't act like an idiot just because other people do.. you can behave differently! Take pride in YOU and the person you are... set goals and try to reach them.
don't be like i was. for god sake, you are better than that!!! please, take care of YOU.
i'd also like to say there have been many, many famous people with bipolar disoder, and the website below will give you a list of many -- Edgar Allan Poe, the poet was one, as well as many famous people of today.
I worked in retail for many years and I know it can be hard to deal with angry and/or stupid customers however you do not have a right to treat them badly.
"mommyof3dogs" is right you are using your disease as an excuse to be rude. Get better treatment or better medication. Simply being bipolar does not give you reason to treat people like crap. It does not matter weather or not people at work know you are bipolar you can and most likely eventually will be fired for your behavior.
I have several family members with bipolar disorder and even their doctors say that they can not use that as an excuse to dismiss their behavior when they treat people badly. You need to figure out what is really making you angry and why you not only lash out at your customers but at people on YA who are just trying to give you advise.