Do abuser know they are abusers or do they just think they are "mean" !
Question: Honest to God, I feel they HAVE TO know what they are doing unless they are mentally incapasitated!!! let me know what you think....
Answers: Honest to God, I feel they HAVE TO know what they are doing unless they are mentally incapasitated!!! let me know what you think....
I dont know the complete 100% true answer to this but my though is that they DO in fact know that they are crossing the line of mean into "abuse"--they may have been under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or maybe its how they grew up and thats what they know, BUT nonetheless...they are fully responsible (and in NO way am i making excuses for them)---they is absolutely NO excuse ever for "abuse" of any kind!!! If the "abuser" thinks that their just being "mean" they need a reality check and fast...if their "abusing" someone they know its wrong...HELLO...its flat out illegal so they know exactly what their doing...DONT let "abusers" get away with that!!!
Abuse is never about the abuse, it's about the power. So no, abuser don't always get that they are abusive as much as they get or think they are in control of the situation.
I personally think they do not give a fudge... They have no respect for themselves or others..
no some think that everything wrong in their world is a result of someone elses actions and think they are totally sane...
No, they know what they're doing...no one can ever use the excuse "I can't help it- I didn't know"...that's an easy cop out to avoid being accountable for their actions.
Have a blessed Christmas :-)
Yeah, but it doesn't phase them, and they don't feel bad doing it.
a lot of them know they did something wrong, which is why afterward they will apologize and try to gain forgiveness, but when that desire for power and fear comes back, they have no problem going at it again.
Some people honestly don't know it's abuse. I know some people like that. They are shocked to think that anyone would say they are abusive. That's how they were raised and they feel they "turned out ok, so what's the big deal?"
There are some who are "in denial" about it. They know there is something wrong, but don't want to think about it. If they did that would mean they'd have to change, and that's "too hard". Those are usually the ones who act totally different in public than they do in the privacy of their homes. This is a clear indication that they really do know on some level that their behavior is wrong in some way. I know some like that as well.
There are others still for whom, as has been stated, it's all about dominating others. Whether they're fully aware or not, I'm not sure. I do believe in these cases there is a certain amount of "mental incapacity" involved particularly when drugs or alcohol are involved.
Whatever the situation, all abusers need professional help in learning to overcome it.
I've had many friends in abusive situations. I decided to learn all I could about those situations so I could 1. protect myself; and 2. be a more effective sounding board for those friends.
Hi I don't know if this will help you bu my husband is bipolar and in the past has been physically and emotionally abusive to me he once said that at those times it did not feel like abuse Rather like a justified response to something, However after the fact he always knew he had done something horrible. Allot of times he did not seem to feel bad about IT though he says he was either ashamed and did not want to show it o he thought of reasons to ustify it in his head to keep him from feeling bad. but there haaas to be something wrong with people that continuously hurt others weather they say they know it or not
In my experience, the abuser always thinks everyone else is at fault. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with him.
I wish my abuser did think he was at least "mean" to others.
He refuses to take a look in the mirror at himself and his hurtful behavior.