What could you do if everyone knew about you and your problems & were avoiding &!


Question: or they were being told to ? they were being told not to contact you or get involved with you ?

i say this because im a 30 year old borderline personality disorder sufferer...ive made no friends in life ever....never been in a relationship...i have very low self esteem and get clingy.

ive stumbled on some very caring people through this site, mainly white us women for some reason....ive added them to yahoo messenger on their offer to talk and be friends......all of a sudden....most of them never contact me anymore, have just stopped iming me...showing interest...even stopped answering my questions...they appear permenantly offline...like thats it....full stop.

i feel really hurt and angry and rejected because of this....i thought id actually met some friends...some honest caring people...then they reject me, after months with corresponding with them through here and messenger.

its like theres a big conspiracy and theyve been told to stay away from me, to refrain from contacting me.


Answers: or they were being told to ? they were being told not to contact you or get involved with you ?

i say this because im a 30 year old borderline personality disorder sufferer...ive made no friends in life ever....never been in a relationship...i have very low self esteem and get clingy.

ive stumbled on some very caring people through this site, mainly white us women for some reason....ive added them to yahoo messenger on their offer to talk and be friends......all of a sudden....most of them never contact me anymore, have just stopped iming me...showing interest...even stopped answering my questions...they appear permenantly offline...like thats it....full stop.

i feel really hurt and angry and rejected because of this....i thought id actually met some friends...some honest caring people...then they reject me, after months with corresponding with them through here and messenger.

its like theres a big conspiracy and theyve been told to stay away from me, to refrain from contacting me.

You know, sometimes when I'm real down(have been diagnosed with major depression years ago) and am having a bad episode, my thought patterns can change quite dramatically and it's very easy to start believing that people are deliberately avoiding you and that there must be something written on your forehead(well I feel that way sometimes) that says "I am a bad person and no one likes me or will ever like me" and sadly it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Thing is, when a person is unwell mentally, it is very easy to start having negative thoughts, but it doesn't mean that they are true.

You are not a bad person, as I'm not. It's just part of your illness is making you feel this way.
Are you currently being treated at all? Seeing a phychiatrist maybe as well?
There's no big conspiracy out there and I'm sure that once you are able to get a handle on the thoughts, things will change. But you need some help with this.
Also too(just a tip), stay being friendly as you are, but give the other person a chance to contact you, never have it that you're always contacting someone else as that can be offputting to some unfortunately.
I've been there and have learnt the hard way, have been rejected all my life, but out of the rejections, the few friends that I do have are worth their weight in gold.
*hugs*

I would be paranoid.

Forgot paranoia on your list!

AND... of course it could NEVER be YOUR FAULT... could it?

I think it starts off fine to try and help someone and talk to them but once you keep saying the same things no matter what they say to make you feel better or if you talk to them all the time when they log online that can get annoying, you could just be saying something to put them off I'm not sure what it could be though, your not asking to meet up with them are you? Anyway 30 is OK you still have some time to meet someone. There isn't a conspiracy it just feels that way when some people stop speaking to you they all have their different reasons or just get too busy to go on msn anymore.

Your's is a common problem with borderline personality disorder.

You may have said a few things that put people off, it happens.

Why don't you really fix yourself up once and for all. Go to a counsellor or psychotherapist that uses Cognitive Behavioural Therapy(CBT), in fact a branch of CBT called Dialectical therapy.

It will change your life and you will never have those problems again. All it takes is a willingness on your part to truly want a more fulfilling life, and a preparedness to accept that you need to try some different things.

I won't get into a conversation with you about this, because it's not my field - but if you call a few psychologists and ask if they use Dialectical therapy, I'm sure you will find one.

All the best, make a new star or the new year and may it be a great one.

It may be that your self described clingy personality is becoming too much for them to handle. I would suggest the next time you get someone willing to talk to you online you don't be so clingy and understand that other people have lives of their own. They may be busy or have grown tired of hearing you complain.

You may wish to join an online group catering to some of your interests or even a support group for borderline personality disorder.

It can be very difficult to make friends with BPD because people with BPD generally are quite selfish and lack understanding about other people not being available for them immediately. Yahoo has several groups for BPD and I am sure you could find groups for other interests of yours. With a group you would not have to worry about one person getting worn out being your friend and the interaction can help your self-esteem.

Take no notice of anyone, what ever has happened in your life is your business, no body else's. Have a merry christmas and a happy new year. If you wish to contact me on here you can, I will respond

I want to let you know I did not read any other answer to your question. Now let me tell you what I think is the problem.

You have BPD. You think it is a terrible disease. You feel there is a stigma attached to mental illness. Both of those statements are false. You are helped by your doctor and by your medications. Mental illness affects one out of four people, look around at 7 other people which one is the crazy one? You are not crazy you just have a disease. It is like having diabetes, high blood pressure, or arthritis. They are all diseases that don't show. You are making a mountain out of a mole hill. Let people know that you have BPD who need to know. Do not wear it on your sleeve. Have your doctor check you out for depression. It is quite possible you may have it. Then do what the doctor says to do. And the most important things for you to do are live life to its fullest and Get Over It. You have to smile once and a while. People will react better to a happier person then a grumpy one. Smile Damn It.

Forget meeting people over the "computer". Get outside, go for walks, just doing this will help your self esteem, and you quite often meet people just walking and then get chatting.Join a club of any kind, just get out and about.
Are you seeing doctor, this is very important.

Oh sweetie, I think you are feeling a little paranoid due to your personality disorder.

Its probably just the time of year, everyone is concentrating on christmas and getting presents, organising parties, going out for drinks and get togethers with family etc, so i think your imagination is just working overtime.

Have you thought about joining a website to talk to people with similar problems as yours? You may find that having people who are going through similar things will be more open to listening to you maybe?

i really dont think there is some great conspiracy against you, honestly I dont, when you do contact these people, is it a 50/50 relationship?

if all you do is talk about your illness and not ask about them and talk about things that matter to them, then people can get fed up with that, be honest withyourself and if thats the case, try and renew some of the friendships and make sure you dont concentrate on just your feelings and problems, Im sure there are plenty of people who have no problem chatting about your problems, but you must remember that relationships go both ways.

I dont think this is purposely done, but why dont you ask one of them?





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