Why do i feel this way? Please dont call me emo.?!


Question: I'm feeling so sad, i want to die. Nothing extremely bad happened to make me like this, it just got worse each day. I first noticed it when i was about 10 years old, i was confused back then & I am still confused now..

It has gotten worse towards the end of this year. Sometimes i sit in my room and just cry i even think of cuting myself, but i pray to god to give me the strength not to. I dont know if i can handle this anymore. I'm such a failure at everything i do.

I tried to talk to my friends about it, but they call me emo or say its a cry out for attention, but its not. All i want is to be happy. they are never around me, they are never there for me. Sometimes i think to myself if i die, they wont even notice i'm gone. Is it because they dont understand?

I cant see a doctor or therapist about this, because that costs too much money and i dont want to be a burdon to my family.

Merry Christmas


Answers: I'm feeling so sad, i want to die. Nothing extremely bad happened to make me like this, it just got worse each day. I first noticed it when i was about 10 years old, i was confused back then & I am still confused now..

It has gotten worse towards the end of this year. Sometimes i sit in my room and just cry i even think of cuting myself, but i pray to god to give me the strength not to. I dont know if i can handle this anymore. I'm such a failure at everything i do.

I tried to talk to my friends about it, but they call me emo or say its a cry out for attention, but its not. All i want is to be happy. they are never around me, they are never there for me. Sometimes i think to myself if i die, they wont even notice i'm gone. Is it because they dont understand?

I cant see a doctor or therapist about this, because that costs too much money and i dont want to be a burdon to my family.

Merry Christmas

Well you have had a lot of responses, with lots of advice about sun shine or exercise or professionals or god or depression as a disease or whatever, all of which have merit, but don't do anything right now.

I wont detail my story,but I first tried to commit suicide when I was 12 and again at 17. I know where you are at, in fact I am sorry to say I know worse. Thats the me bit over, now for you.

You have a challenge, to accept the way things are or to fight against it. Not defeat it, it wont be that easy. If you need someone to help you in the process, so go see a Doctor, a GP, anyone you like, without your parents. Go to the appointment with a commitment to be honest, give them the details, and tell them you need someone to talk too, not drugs. That should lead to a psychologist appointment with a bit of luck (they are not shrinks, just listeners/talkers) When you see them be honest and lay it all out.

When you see the DR go to one that bulk bills, you can ask when you make the appointment, some advertise that way, the same goes with the psychologist. Then you dont have to stress about the cost. Be upfront with the DR about your money restrictions, so they know to find a bulk billing psychologist or counseling service

Unfortunately no one can really help you other than yourself, use the psychologist as a crutch to help you get by and work your way through your problems, but know that as difficult as it is, it will come down to your own decisions.

To brighten myself I depend on music a lot, I have 96gig of mp3 music and use it constantly. I like a lot of the Gothic music and know all about the emo tag, but I am not goth or emo. The other thing I use are novels, I like to read and can loose myself in books, I like the fantasy (dragons/magic/ancient battles) genre, but find out what you like by using the local library, thats what I did and do, so that addresses the cost issue of books, they also lend CDs which gives you access to music, as do torrents.

I never had support from parents or relatives, just the opposite, so I can only suggest that you do this by yourself, for yourself. If your parents are seriously supportive then keep them involved.

I wish you well, fight hard for your future, never surrender to the decision to suicide, because once you do, you will never be free of it and its poison.

Be safe, value yourself and fight for your future.

Listen, you should talk to your parents. They will understand you need therapy. Your life doesn't have a price on it and Im sure they will put you in the right hands on the road to recovery. Don't try and deal with yourself because it is nearly impossible.

You should talk to your parents about this. Your their child, they will not deny you help just because of the cost. Your parents care about you and they will do anything to make you better. Please please talk to someone who will listen to you. I don't want you to hurt yourself and nobody else does. Keep praying and talk to someone. Take care.

Check with your school, they probably have a free school therapist of couselor so you have somebody to talk to. Your parents are another great resource. A lot of people have harder times dealing with depression in the winter. As a recovering self-injurer, I can tell you that cutting is not the answer. Make a list of things that make you feel good, and whenever you are feeling down about something, pick something off your list. Watch a movie, take a bubble bath, have some icecream, walk your dog, etc. Try writing in a journal. Sometimes venting your feelings on paper really helps lighten the load, and you find your self writing about stuff that you didn't realized was really bothering you.

Your friends might not be understanding because maybe they see a different side of you, and the idea of you being depressed doesn't make sense to them. Talk to you parents, siblings, school therapist, etc. And seriously...the writing, and using a "happy list" really make a difference! Good luck, and Happy Holidays!

dont you understand that not getting the help that you need is more of a burden on your family than a few simple trips to the doctor? Make the better choice here!

merry christmas to you too. what you need to do is wear short sleeves in the sun. it will make you happy. i dont know how it works but it does somehow. i felt exactly like you do now almost a year ago. im still pretty messed up, but i dont wanna die anymore. its fine to sit in your room and cry, theres nothing wrong with it. and if your friends wont notice youre gone, they suck. you are thinking of your family and that means you still care for others. even if you feel like giving up on yourself, there is prolly someone who wont give up on you. my older sister wouldnt give up on me and if she had i would have killed myself. as for therapists that wont cost too much, i know a free therapist who you can email. her email is cockrum01 so tell her how u feel. you can also talk to me any time you want my email is iwillalwaysrise@yahoo.com. again, merry xmas.

I understand your feelings about not being able to afford medical treatment. That is also part of your anxiety. But it sounds to me like you are clinically depressed and possibly bi-polar. The best way to help you is get on medication and look into cheap or free alternatives to private therapy. Alot of hospitals have group therapy sessions (like AA, NA, OEA, Etc.) that are cheap of even free. Depression medication and therapy should be covered in your medical insurance. If it is not then look into some of the state and county assisted medical treatment. Doctors WANT to help you, it's their job. They will point you in the right direction of help that is within your budget.

As for your friends, I think that they are just as confused as you are on this. They don't know how to deal with it, so they give you the quick easy fix. Depression from childhood into adulthood can be very bad for you and everyone around you.
They would definetely notice if you where gone! And they would miss you and hurt more than you could ever imagine.
People are often afraid or offput by what they don't understand, so dont take their reaction to this personally. That problem is theirs.

Also, DO NOT KEEP YOUR FAMILY IN THE DARK ON THIS! Talk to them, just having someone to talk to on this can be a great way to start your personal therapy. They love you and they will help you however they can. But be patient with them. They may not understand either.

I have had several relationships in the past with women that suffer from depression. I know how tough it is on you and on your loved ones. Unfortunatly I am not a therapist, but I do have two eyes and two ears and if you need to talk to someone you can email me at Funkyalmond2003@yahoo.com, My messenger ID is Funkyalmond2003. The best bet is to reach me through IM, I get alot of emails and I might pass yours up is I dont recognise you right off the bat. The best therapy is just having someone listen and I am a great listener. I will also NOT share anything we talk about with anyone, you have my word on that. I know how alone and isolated you feel, you don't have to feel that way. I will be here for you if you need me. I also dealt with depression in my life and I have to say that I have been on the winning side. Like AA or NA I am volenteering my time for you. I really hope I hear from you soon.

hi hun, i know, depression sucks! but please please please dont go down the path of self injury! i am a cutter of 6 years (im 18) and it is horrible, i wish i never started, coz now i cant stop!
you are not emo... neither am i, you want help, not attention and thats what counts, now get the help while you still want it, yes, try a teacher at school or a school councellor, they can help you. thats how i got help, they saved my life! you are not alone, you can do this and you are worth it! parents can be suprising in situations like this, they may actually be really supportive! you never know until you talk.
well take care hun, merry christmas!
ps. IM me anytime

We all need help at times and it sounds like you do now.
You have to get medical attention because you can't beat these feelings alone.
Believe me, I tried.

Sweetie, first of all you said you pray to God, please believe me I'm not trying to be a smart a__, But if your praying to God you first have to recognize that He is God by spelling His name properly. The (G) in God is always CAPITALIZED and when speak in His name He(H) is also and always capitalized, Enough for school. What is a EMO
and if your friends don't understand that's not there fault because some people are ignorant and don't want to understand,and theses people are usually not your friends. Pray for strength in all areas of your life. And you can seek FREE therapy in you city or state, go check some hospitals,churches, dept. of social services and see what they have to offer,if your parents make good money don't put them down as an income.. How old are you?? God Bless and don't stop praying but most of all when praying you have to pray a honest prayer that is the one God hears..Check to see if some of the food you eat has iron in it, you could possibly have an iron deficiency which plays a major key in your lifestyle.

Try to remember that you aren't alone in feeling this way and it doesn



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