I HATE my roomate......what do I do now?!
Question: My ex and I met 4 years ago at this program for mentally ill people. I know.... I know.....right there is a red flag!!!
Anyway, we have lived together now for 3 1/2 out of the 4 years, maybe longer. We broke up 2 years ago....are you guys getting all of this so far? We still live together because it's cheaper for the both of us, and I feel that he OWES ME!!!!
Here's my problem...
He's lazy, he whines ALL the time, no ambition, and makes excuses all the time about why he doesn't take care of his mental illness like going back on his meds and things like that.
I have lost all romantic feelings for this guy a long time ago, but I feel like he owes me because I am not going to be without a place to live and I'm not willing to lose everything I've worked so hard to get during the past 4 years. I'm taking steps to BETTER my life, and it just seems that he's STUCK. I will hopefully be finished with school as of February, so how do I avoid killing him until then?
Answers: My ex and I met 4 years ago at this program for mentally ill people. I know.... I know.....right there is a red flag!!!
Anyway, we have lived together now for 3 1/2 out of the 4 years, maybe longer. We broke up 2 years ago....are you guys getting all of this so far? We still live together because it's cheaper for the both of us, and I feel that he OWES ME!!!!
Here's my problem...
He's lazy, he whines ALL the time, no ambition, and makes excuses all the time about why he doesn't take care of his mental illness like going back on his meds and things like that.
I have lost all romantic feelings for this guy a long time ago, but I feel like he owes me because I am not going to be without a place to live and I'm not willing to lose everything I've worked so hard to get during the past 4 years. I'm taking steps to BETTER my life, and it just seems that he's STUCK. I will hopefully be finished with school as of February, so how do I avoid killing him until then?
Avoid him and focus all the good things in your life, you're going to be out of there soon so just imagine how good that will be! If it gets really bad tell him that you're going to kick him out unless he starts to work around the house. x
You need to avoid him as much as possible. If you are finishing school and planning a move, you have lots to do.
Try having a little compassion for him if he ha a mental illness.
Kick it him out of the house. You know? He's nothing but a trash so what is his use?
Wow...you're right..you're right...you saw those BIG red flags!! And you went for it anyhow. When did he begin his spiral again? Obviously AFTER you two got together..moved in, etc? What happened? You knew and therefore comitted to him with that knowlege of this possibly happening again!! OK Girl, now where's your heart? Your soul? Your compassion? Do you devour conditional love as if a cherry with the pit still in it? OUCH! Caring and OWING are 2 different things..what is it he owes you...he evidently helped you with your place so you could remain living there..Did you seek out other arrangements that might equal your accustomed style of living arrangements and get out before now? Nope..You Remained there for some ...what? Financial reason? One that made your life easier financially? Look at the BIGGER picture...walk a mile in his shoes. I haven't experienced mental illness myself, but have seen it and loved my friends through it...stuck around while they went through a few tries at different treatments...and it was HARD at times..Remember something rather powerful..you have to LOVE in order to HATE!!! Try having a nice holiday and include him ...Tis the season for love, not hate...how sad you must be yourself...Maybe you need a hand up..just like he does?
Show him the door now..........what he is in need of is a good dose of reality. He probably is stuck You don't need his negativity during finals.
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Not taking his meds...will get him into all kinds of trouble. But it is HIS TROUBLE and not yours. You are not responsible for him or his future......especially since you are not legally married, you have no legal obligation.
Until he walks into a brick wall to give him a reason to change, you can expect him to only do more of the same.
You can find a female roommate, so don't keep supporting his illness on that account.
Look at your rental lease agreement. Who's name is it in? That's the person who is stuck with the apartment and who has to keep paying for it. The other person finds a new place , even if it's with Mom and Dad or a friend or at the Y.
Show that you are not mentally ill by making good choices for yourself, and by defining your limits.