What do you do when you feel insecure and abandoned in life, and stuck to know w!
Question: alot of horrible things have happened to me in my life.
have spent time in a psychiatric hospital because i said things to get help, so i frightened doctors, through things i said.
been bullied throughout secondary school.......sexually abused as a kid...been attacked in the street...mugged....suffered head injuries.
im 30, have borderline personality disorder....i feel alone, isolated, lonely and abandoned.
i have no one to turn to, never made any friends...never had fullfilling relationships or any relationships.
ive lived alone for 2 years now in my own one bedroomed flat on sickness benifits.
and im starting to feel lonely.....i have a mixture of worries thoughts : wanting to leave the uk...move back to europe or beyond....wanting to just give up....be put in sometype of care home where im looked after, all my responsibilities taken care of....where at least im not alone and im around people...plus in the hope thered be pretty girls to look after me.
at least i wouldnt be
Answers: alot of horrible things have happened to me in my life.
have spent time in a psychiatric hospital because i said things to get help, so i frightened doctors, through things i said.
been bullied throughout secondary school.......sexually abused as a kid...been attacked in the street...mugged....suffered head injuries.
im 30, have borderline personality disorder....i feel alone, isolated, lonely and abandoned.
i have no one to turn to, never made any friends...never had fullfilling relationships or any relationships.
ive lived alone for 2 years now in my own one bedroomed flat on sickness benifits.
and im starting to feel lonely.....i have a mixture of worries thoughts : wanting to leave the uk...move back to europe or beyond....wanting to just give up....be put in sometype of care home where im looked after, all my responsibilities taken care of....where at least im not alone and im around people...plus in the hope thered be pretty girls to look after me.
at least i wouldnt be
Okay, you had some hard knocks along the way, but the good thing is that you still have hope for the future, in spite of everything.
The main thing is you are lonely. I guess you find it hard trusting people or bonding to them, primarily from the sexual abuse, which was one of the main developmental experiences you had.
You need support. If you aren't in psychotherapy for the sexual abuse, I suggest you find a good counselor and start working at your own pace to come to terms with the underlying issues surrounding that. With good talk therapy, you will begin to gain inner resources and greater self-acceptance which will help you to transform your life.
Second, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which you can learn from a book, if you prefer. It really does help to get the thinking patterns sorted out and will help you conquer the patterns of anxiety and depression.
Beyond that, there are ways you can meet people. Volunteering, for a start. Find an organisation, a charity you are interested in and go and work there. You'll meet people and get some kind of conversation and contact which you need.
Also, list your interests. Is there a group in your area that specialises in any of your interests that you can join for a low or no fee? You'll meet lots of people that way.
You have an idea of what you want. It may seem far away right now, but it's achievable. Take it slow, don't be hard on yourself, just nice and easy.
What I'm suggesting is step one for your journey. This will give you some stability. Take some time to figure out what you want. Never flee in panic, okay? You have time, use it wisely. Figure out what you want, over time and look at the end goals that you want to achieve and work backwards from them breaking each goal down into the smaller steps that are needed to achieve each one i.e I want to move to Europe, what is the step I need to take before that, and the step before that, etc., etc. This process will show you step one for your goals, whether it is moving to Europe, or qualifying as whatever.
Good luck x
PS. Exercise really helps - whether it is walking, dancing to uplifitng music in your own home, swimming, or lifting weights.
im sry i wish i could help but i cant even help myself with these problems. just realize life is all you got make the most out of it not dwell on the bad.
im so sorry to hear that. you should really try going to a church. everyone there will welcome you and you can learn about God and watch Him make changes in your life. from what ive read i think this is really a good thing for you to do and i believe it will help you. i wish you the best and i will be praying for you.
Go out, find a new hobby, extend your horizon.
Do sports, try art!
Do something new, or try meeting other people.
Worked by me!
x. Hope you feel better
Meeting new people at a bar or so would help you from the feeling of being lonely.
Remember, we're helping you, so you aren't that lonely as you think!
I have a psychical disorder myself.
I'm bipolair, that means that I somethimes have a Depression, and that I somethimes have a very extreme euphoric feeling.
There will always be very bad things that happen in life, you will have to accept that.
But you have to close your eyes for the past, because otherwise it will be a bad influence for your future.
It isn't too late to have a fantastic future, and you can start by meeting new people, finding somebody you can rely on.
Step 2: with that new friend do something new, something you want to do, but never could do because you were afraid or so.
It really helps! I'm in tapdance, I drum, I paint and write books, and it is a great help for my disorder.
x. You can do it!
You need to find a way to boost your self esteeme. Suggest you try to excersise. or something to make you feel good about your self then once you overcome that obsticle the you can work on the next. Just remember BABY STEP
The first thing to do is take a deep breath and then call the Samaritans. 08457 90 90 90 (UK). Email jo@samaritans.org. They are there for you 24-7................
Something tells me you know better and are seeking every way to obtain whatever you want by having it handed to you..life aint a bowl of cherries and guess what? There are millions, if not billions worse off than you ever will be..are you so physically disabled that you cannot move your body without help?..find your bootstraps and give 'em a yank or two..find an anti-depressant and stay with it...Really talk to your docs instead of using them for 3 hots and a cot...come on pal...life takes HARD WORK..get with the program...If you don't want to have a happy holiday, try giving one to a kid worse off..go to your local childrens hospital and help a kid smile that is FIGHTING like hell for their life..and Merry Christmas anyway
alright, first thing you gotta do:
MOVE OUT OF THE UK
go somewhere sunny where it will dramatically affect your mood, i suggest california, after that, you can start your life fresh and make new friends etc.
youre only 30, you have such a long way to go, come on!
I have work in with patients with your condition got to your dr. get some meds, he should also have you go to group session once a week, there are groups for people with BPD. Find a interest no matter what it is as long as its not hazardous to your health or anyone else's and pray when ever you feel down for what you want.
I've been through some of that stuff too. Guess we all have our problems.
I definitely agree with the previous 2 answers.
I'm a Christian & that helped no end. Many problems are too big for us but not for Him. That was part of the point of Christmas.
That alone however is not enough. It really helps to go out & find someone else you can help. Helping others with their problems has a way of greatly minimizing our own. It does take some action on your part of course but the effort is well worth it.
Happiness is not something you can chase. It will always elude you, but when you give it to others it catches up with & overwhelms you.
Again, that's where He can help, If you don't feel you got it in you then ask Him for the help to do so & He'll be there for you as He was for me at my most desperate time. That is one of the gifts He came to give at Christmas.
Beleive in yourself & be determined to over come all bad things happened, feel good about yourself & make a note of all the good qualities you have & strengthen them. Life is always special & we get one chance to live it so y in sorrow, lets make things look beautifull & carry a smile always. Simple steps to be in peace & happiness.
*Pray to god, have patience & faith in him.
*Keep smiling
*Dont loose your heart.
*Admire childrens & their innocense
*Try helping people without knowing who they are, because god lives in everyone.
*Keep In Touch with good & dear ones who care by heart.
*Be thankfull to yourself everyday for being special & needy to someone
There is hope but you have to work at it.A good life rarely finds its way to your door.You have to open the door and go and find it.If I was you,I would start with a visit to the Drs and get myself on some form of medication.This will take time and if you are going to stay in Europe,then why not think about some qualifications from college by signing up to do a course on something.There is lots on offer and another way to occupy yourself is to work in a voluntary oganisation where perhaps you are working with disadvantaged children or adults.This will help take the focus of your problems whilst you are caring about others.Im sorry you have had such a dreadful time,perhaps some councelling could be arranged.You would probably benefit from having somebody to confide in.The Samaritans are good if you are feeling desperate.You need to think forward and leave the past behind,councelling would help with this.You have a journey in front of you,however it can be reached.Just dont give up,but be prepared to fight for your future.You have a right to a fulfilling and secure life,but like I said first,you have to go out and get it.Good luck.
You have been asking these questions over and over again.
You do not want to work at making changes.
Unfortunately, nothing is going to change in your life unless you take some kind of step to initiate the change, however big or small.
You want to live somewhere where you can be taken care of.
Maybe someone can help you find a place like that in your area. Perhaps residential housing for people that have problems. Ask your doctor if this would be possible.
I hope some day you will work things out.
Go out and get a job. Make some new friends and find some things you like to do and tell yourself you can do it and you won't give up your life
Pray.
when i feel so... i smile & think about all the goodthings of my life
john
I have had problems in my life too but what helped me was making new friends with people
I haven't told them about what I went through but they do help by being around me and as selfish as this might sound having them around me is a bit of a self esteem boost as I know that I made these friends and that they are still friends with me because they like me