My bi polar step-brother stole $$ from me do I forgive or forget..?!
Question: So he came to my house and took the money that was on my dresser...I noticed immediatly...He said he doesn't remember and this is 5 mins after it happened.. I don't believe he doesn't remember but I feel bad about the whole situation..As it stands he can't come to my house right now..What should I do??
Answers: So he came to my house and took the money that was on my dresser...I noticed immediatly...He said he doesn't remember and this is 5 mins after it happened.. I don't believe he doesn't remember but I feel bad about the whole situation..As it stands he can't come to my house right now..What should I do??
Just ..
don't let him off the hook easily.
you probably need to keep him away from your house and stay mad at him for a while, so he knows that he can't get away with things like that.
I have dealt with many Bipolar pople in my lifetime,
and If I have learned anything,
It's that you can't give them special treatment.
part of the actual Bipolar disorder, is that they try to manipulate people by using their illness as an alibi. You can't let them do that because they will continue doing things of the sort and then using the old "you dont understand what its like to have to put up with this!" and that's no way to get through life.
also, Being Bipolar does not induce memory loss.
don't let him back, he is playing you and you will be a fool again.
no way he is an *** obiously he remembers
NO YOU DO NOT FORGIVE AND FORGET YOU STEAL IT BACK. DUH. IF HE TRIES ANYTHING PRESS CHARGES.
make him repay you if you're positive it was him, or he can't come back til he does
Bi-polar or not, that was uncalled for. I wouldn't trust him alone in my house, I say just forgive him. But don't let him be alone in your home.
you cant forgive someone and mean it unless you forget it and move on
He may not remember, but bearing in mind he is sick then forgive even if forgetting is a problem. Best wishes to you and your poor brother also.
Bi-Polar or no, he still needs to be held accountable for what he does.
He's lying.
Bipolar disorder does not impair your short term memory.
Should you forgive him? Yes. He's your brother. We all make mistakes (though stealing is a pretty major one, to be sure).
Should you forget? Well, that's up to you. I certainly wouldn't be leaving any money out in the future when he's around, though.
Hang in there,
~M~
forgive but dont forget
cause when u forgive it causes a bit more trust
but if u forget there might be probs where he thinks he can do what he wants and u'll forgive him and forget about it and it will constantly happen
Well, how much did he steal? Let him know that he can't mess around with you - and you're not a walkover.
forgive yes but don't forget
forgive him. move on. use more discretion when inviting someone who is a thief into your house in the future. put your money up and don't let them out of your sight.
Unless he spent it in the last 5 minutes, he must be wondering where he got it from. Or not. I'd say one more chance and then an *** whipping might jog his memory.
One, don't leave money out when/if he comes back over. Two, forgive him. It is only money. **He's trying to cover for his taking the money (he remembers, he just doesn't want to admit it). He took it because he wanted it - he doesn't think of the repurcussions involved, and can't really distinguish right from wrong in this situation. Best of luck to you.
being bi-polar doesn'y mean that you have short term memory loss, confront him again and tell him that you KNOW he took it
He might be impulsive due to his Bi-polar illness but he does remember it. He may be trying to play on your sympathy for his condition. Forgive him if you can but don't forget (to put your valuables away).
I would tell him to return the money...he probably won't...don't welcome him into your home and change the locks..he probably has a key too.
forgive and forget, but on the other hand don't be a fool, keep him out of your house...
Stealing is a crime. Open and shut case.
You did right by prohibiting his coming to your house. I am not totally convinced this "bi-polar" illness is all the medical profession has termed it to be.
Just remember: don't keep any valuable where ANYONE can lay their hands on them. Secondly, keep this guy away from your residence. You will do more harm to feel sorry for people than to stand your ground and let everyone know your position on CRIME. Just remind them: if you can't do the TIME don't do the CRIME. Period.
First you need to understand that many times you have co-morbid conditions with bi-polar like bi-polar schizophrenia.
If your step-brother IS a bi-polar schizophrenic he very well may NOT remember taking the money on your dresser. That being said, bi-polar is a REASON, not an excuse for some behaviors.
Try to be understanding, I know it is difficult but do your best.
Bi-polar people need patience and understanding, sometimes it takes years to find the right medication and the right dosage for them to be able to cope with the world. It takes time, but it can get better. I wish you and your step-brother the best.
How old is he? How much money did he take? What was the money for? Has he shown any remorse/ does he know that it was wrong? If he is at an age that he definitely should know not to do this, and it was a substantial amount of money, I would try to talk it through with him. If that goes well then make sure that he knows that you wont forgive it again if he does it. I'd forgive as long as it wasn't for something bad, like drugs, etc.
I'm sure being bipolar is not easy. For whatever reason, he won't admit he took it. He could have been in a desperate state when he did that. His life will always have those highs and lows, which is quite sad really. Forgive and forget but maybe, if he's ever allowed to come back in, hide valuable things just in case. I'd rather lose all my money than have to live with being bipolar. That's a life sentence for a lot of problems to deal with that most of us won't ever have. I had a friend who was bipolar and in a manic phase she went on this whopper spending spree and practically bought everything she saw. When she came to her senses, she painfully had to wrap it all up and take everything back. It was a small fortune and very embarrassing for her to retrace her steps when she was in that crazy zone. They really can't help themselves when they're in that state of mind. So hopefully, you step-brother will get the right medication to keep him balanced, but it'll always be a challenge for him. Count yourself one of the lucky ones! You don't mention his age, but he'll have to realize that his actions were wrong taking your money, but you won't even be able to discuss it with him unless he's in a good frame of mind. It'd be like talking to a wall! But I'd point it out to him at a better time, as he's got to be able to start watching out for himself to be able to get better control of himself. Take care!
bi polar or not my niece is 16 and she is bi polar and she know right from wrong go and google bi polor and it will tell u the symptoms its not short term memory
sorry i dont believe he didnt remember, you cant do much about the money but you can now see he using the so called bi polar disorder as an excuss for what ever he wants . one idea is talk to his doctor about it then you would be helping him . also saving him from getting into some real !! trouble in the future but dont ignore it . taking any sort of revenge is definatly not the go. hey good question
Considering he is bi-polar, it probably wouldn't be a good thing to flip out on him. But, you must treat everyone equally bi-polar or not, he is human, and you shouldn't forgive him if you don't mean it. But you defiantly not hold a grudge against him. I do agree not to let him in your house. That was stealing that he did. It's against the law, and you should come right out with it.
Maybe ask him if there was a reason to steal the money?