How can i cope with the continual way im losing people and being rejected & aban!


Question: in summary: im a borderline personality sufferer...im 30 ive had an exceptionally crap, unfair and traumatic life.....prolonged bullying...sexual abuse...just some of the things that have happened.

ive never ever made any friends in life.....never.

ive never been in a relationship or had a partner...im hetrosexual.

i have a very low self esteem.....im very clingy...want intimacy, plus im unselfassured.

recentley, contacts ive made on myspace, u.s girls, a 22 year old from new jersey.....and a 35 year old from illinois.....have deleted me off their myspace....i thought id made some friendships.
stacey, the new jersey girl even was very chatty and caring in the beggining...commenting on my photos, saying they were beautifull.
now im deleted.....it started off by them just not contacting me anymore or not talking.

secondly: contacts ive made on y/a while ive been here for over a year now, that i added to messenger..have just stopped contacting me...appear permenantly offline


Answers: in summary: im a borderline personality sufferer...im 30 ive had an exceptionally crap, unfair and traumatic life.....prolonged bullying...sexual abuse...just some of the things that have happened.

ive never ever made any friends in life.....never.

ive never been in a relationship or had a partner...im hetrosexual.

i have a very low self esteem.....im very clingy...want intimacy, plus im unselfassured.

recentley, contacts ive made on myspace, u.s girls, a 22 year old from new jersey.....and a 35 year old from illinois.....have deleted me off their myspace....i thought id made some friendships.
stacey, the new jersey girl even was very chatty and caring in the beggining...commenting on my photos, saying they were beautifull.
now im deleted.....it started off by them just not contacting me anymore or not talking.

secondly: contacts ive made on y/a while ive been here for over a year now, that i added to messenger..have just stopped contacting me...appear permenantly offline

You probably come on too strong. Start trying to make male friends instead of only female friends 'cause they probably believe you're only after one thing.

Try to find ways of building up your own self-esteem 'cause right now you're using your illness as an excuse not to do anything or try anything and you're basing your ego on the way other people see you.

The trouble with having been sexually abused at a young age is that you begin to associate any relationship with sexual feelings, because that's how it was introduced to you.
That's not the case. A loving friendship can be just that and you need to realise that before you can form any stable, long-lasting friendships.

Yes, your past has been traumatic, but a lot of people have suffered through similar. You're an adult now and you have to take control of your life.

your in a rutt...trust me my life has been just as hurriffic includin havin 16hrs of brain surgery......only you can change your life..start with your way of thinkin and if sumert doesnt go your way then fack it...try try n try again..thas life 4 yah. gud luck xx

No wonder everyone deletes you. Don't you ever have anything good to say?? Find a bright spot in your life and focus on it.
Sorry, I'm deleting you

if it is a conspiracy, it would appear that you are the biggest conspirator. You seem your own worst enemy. You might want to think about getting some real help.

Maybe making friends via the internet is not the best method for you. Try meeting people you can see in person, through some social groups, or better yet, through some volunteer work. That will get you 'out of yourself" and probably be the best thing you could do to help yourself. "We help ourselves by helping others."
I do a little bit of volunteer work, and I have found that I absolutely love it! You don't have to do much, just a little, and then if you like it, do more. Find some "cause" that you feel might best suit you. I can't tell you which one I'm involved in because it's "anonymous", if you know what I mean.

But I know people who work in food kitchens, help with the Red Cross, homeless shelters, Big Brother, Boy Scouts, churches, city or neighborhood garden type work. There's all kinds of ways for you to get out there and meet people in other situations rather than at home, alone on a computer.

Maybe a good question for you to ask on here is "What are some good volunteer organizations I could join, or ways I could help other people?" All great spiritual leaders through the ages have said that service to others is the answer to our problems. At least give it a try.

What you need to do is take yourself out for a good time get a massage. (listen) make some gay friends they hardly ever reject
u well most of the time. join a gym. Just get out there and don't worry about people you come first of all people. and if make some gay friends u will in the future make friends on your terms.
Hope i helped! (serious)

Stop complaining! get busy living or get busy dying, and i do understand what has happened to you from similar past experiences but i look forwards and try and give in friendships not just demand emotionally, that is exhausting to anyone

I've seen your posts into Y/A - which are somewhat regular and similar in style. To be honesty, while I sympathise with your difficult life, I think you need to take some of the advice you are being given.

Stop making this about yourself and reach out to others. People will continue to delete you and reject you if you become too needy. I know its difficult but try and make the attention about others instead of yourself. YOu will be surprised at the difference it makes.

Make it a challenge for the new year to stop talking about your needs (apart from to the professionals like Dr's and counsellors) and when you talk on line or in Y/A etc ask others how they are doing. Answer questions to help others instead of asking questions etc.

You can do this but it will mean changing your entire focus from yourself to putting others first.

Try not complaining and crying about how bad you have it and start to see people that have real problems.

I think you should seek some professional help ,good luck.

Are you being treated for your personality disorder? BPD is difficult, for those suffering, those around them and even the therapists. You display all of the difficult aspects of the disorder, including the obsessive neediness, fear of abandonment and emotional instability. I can't believe that, even with the disorder, you can't get out and do something. Volunteer, part time job, something that interests you to take your focus off yourself. You are stagnating. Find a therapist, first of all, if you don't already have one. Second, find out what you're good at/enjoy and get involved! I'm telling you this, specifically, because I was diagnosed with BPD too about 10 years ago. I'm not entirely sure that it was a correct diagnosis, but whatever. My life was certainly tumultuous. I was a self-injurer, terribly emotionally unstable, drug and alcohol problems, eating disorder, you name it. As long as I focused ON THE PROBLEMS, they got worse. When I realized I was tired of living that way (and living, period) I started thinking outside myself, things slowly got better. I met a wonderful man who loves me, and his unconditional love has changed my life. I went back to college last semester and made the dean's list. My relationships are a stable as anyone's, I no longer hurt myself in anyway, form or fashion and my self-esteem has returned. My case is atypical, I do believe, but I hope maybe you can see what I'm saying. Take care and I wish you the best.

I have read other postings you have made.
They all say the same information, over and over.
Have you tried to do any of the suggestions that everyone has offered? It makes me feel hopeless trying to be helpful to you.
Let us know if you tried any of the suggestions.
Maybe people feel like they cannot get through to you.
Have we helped you in any way?

CHRIST I,D END IT ALL GET A LIFE

If that was a summary I'd hate to read the full story!

Yes, Yes, Yes, they are told Never to contact you agian, you sound like a real Loser! Get a life, get a job, get something!





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