My ex is suicidal... or is he faking?!
Question: so my ex told me he has a suicidal past. He told me this while we were together. I began to think it wasn't the most healthy thing for me, and he needed someone who understood him more, because he still had suicidal thoughts. Then when I begun to tell him that we're better as friends, he started being all freaky and hinting that if i broke up with him, he would start cutting or he would kill himself... it kind of freaked me out. So I stayed with him for another month but I was unhappy. I just didn't want him hurting himself. Finally after I talked to my parents about it I broke up with him. He never killed himself, but now he is telling my whole high school that I'm a liar and a player and all this junk. I am so sick of it I don't even have the will to confront him because I don't want to talk to him at all. What should I do? should I help him with his insecurity or should I continue to stay away from him?
Answers: so my ex told me he has a suicidal past. He told me this while we were together. I began to think it wasn't the most healthy thing for me, and he needed someone who understood him more, because he still had suicidal thoughts. Then when I begun to tell him that we're better as friends, he started being all freaky and hinting that if i broke up with him, he would start cutting or he would kill himself... it kind of freaked me out. So I stayed with him for another month but I was unhappy. I just didn't want him hurting himself. Finally after I talked to my parents about it I broke up with him. He never killed himself, but now he is telling my whole high school that I'm a liar and a player and all this junk. I am so sick of it I don't even have the will to confront him because I don't want to talk to him at all. What should I do? should I help him with his insecurity or should I continue to stay away from him?
There is no way to tell for sure if he is faking or not, but it is definitely not your responsibility whatever decision he ends up choosing. The fact that he has attempted in the past demonstrates that if he does have suicidal thoughts, it is not all your doing.
You did the right thing by informing his parents of his current behavior, and perhaps it's time you passed on the responsibility to them. If he has attempted in the past, then it seems to me that they should be familiar with suicidal behavior, risk factors, and signs to watch for. However, if you feel up to it, you can try to talk to them about it. Risk factors include: recent change in behavior, previous suicide attempts (check), planning (has thought about exactly what he would do and/or has the necessary means), depression, mental disorders, use of drugs or alcohol, preparatory behavior (said goodbye to loved ones, given away treasured items, etc.) The more of these risk factors he has, the more likely he may actually complete suicide. You can encourage him (or through his parents) to call a suicide hotline (national #: 1800-SUICIDE) or get counseling. If ever you are sure he is going to attempt suicide, you can call 911 and they will send help to intervene.
His behavior right now is unacceptable and harmful to both himself and those around him, so you probably don't want to be associating with him at all. Telling his parents all of these things and if you want, his friends, is more than enough. There's nothing more you can nor are expected to do, so stay away and let yourself heal. Whatever he may do in the future is up to him and will be HIS choice alone. Remember that you are in no way responsible. Do not let him guilt trip you. Good luck.
Offer to help him think of a quick painless way to commit suicide. Bet he backs off the subject then!
He is faking it. but if he really does kill himself then that's his choice isn't it?
most guys r faking to tell a female that they would kill theirselves if u ever leave him, but this guy here's just ignorant. leave him alone, gone by ur own business, and live ur own life...BUT if he gets a lil too freaky now, u might wanna go & talk to the school counselor, that will help..and she wont tell him that u the one complained if u tell her not to
I was in the same position as you, after i broke with my ex he would call me over and over telling me he was gonna commit suicide. He got over it in a couple months and is now engaged :)
alot of people at some point in their lives think about suicide! he maybe exagerating or you may have misunderstood what he meant ...he might not of actually attempted suicide thats very different!
Hiya I would just keep away at all times and never speak to him again.
Tell him to go kill himself, the world would be a better place without losers and users like this.
Actually,your doing the right thing by staying away from him,rumors or not. The fact is if people who are your real friends already know you,then they know the guy is just spitting fire and may be crazy. If he does have a suicidal past or cutting past,you might only wonder what else. Your right to back away and stay away,you really don't know what he is fully capable of and you hit it right on the nose, when you stated he has insecurity. No,you can not help him with his insecurities. He is a weak man,who probably is very insecure with himself and should seek help,whether he is really suicidal or not is not your concern. You don't want to wrap yourself up into that kind of drama. Chances are he will eventually get over you and it will most likely be when he is getting into someone else,much how insecure people work. Keep staying away from him and don't worry about rumors,anyone who speaks to him who knows you,I'm sure is going to see him for who he is really is. Your smart to have told your parents,this way they are aware of the situation,you have others behind you and who are aware of this guys history. If you really can not get rid of him,order of protection,even though sounds dramatic incase he doesn't get the point to back off,might be best case scenerio. You really don't know just how insecure the guy is. Then again he could just be some sad guy who needs to find himself or whatever,but either way,don't bother talking to him or giving him any kind of confidence that you will open your arms to him. That means anything,even if he texts you,don't respond. All it takes is the smallest thing and your saying it's okay for him contact you or in his mind,that you may still want him. Even if that isn't the case,in his mind,it is. Don't even tell a friend to pass a message along,if he recieves it he will take it as your contacting him. Just stay away,keep distance in all aspects and eventually,he should just back off. Lose interest. If not,the like I said,take legal action if it gets to that point. Never know there are so many kooks out there now adays.
Be safe.
He needs help. And you can't give it to him. BUT if he was going to kill himself he would do it. And he wouldn't be telling anyone about it. He needs/wants your sympathy and to take you down with him. He is clearly a disturbed person. Just MOVE ON. Don't talk to him. Just take care of yourself.
Hello and thank you for your question. I have been suicidal in the past and I can tell you now that I am in recovery there really isn't much you can do but leave him alone. He will have to find his own way.
Forget what he is saying. Coming from where he is coming from I would not pay any attention to him or any one who believes him. I am a father of two daughters and you did the best thing by breaking up with him. Please, Please trust me with this.
You deserve the very best in boyfriends and friends in general. This person is not your friend.
well first off cutting and suicide are two WAY different things. Someone can be a cutter and not be suicidal at all. Ask him how he plans on killing himself if he ever did and take action. I think that he is doing this to get attention. I truly believe if he was going to do so he would have already done so.