Why does life always seem so anti-climactic?!
Question: This year was the culmination of a long period of waiting for certain things. I got engaged after dating for three years, and while I want to marry him, I wasn't all crazy excited like other girls I know who got engaged. I guess because it took so long that we were already out of the intense, passionate phase. Then I finally graduated college a couple of weeks ago. It took me almost 7 years because I decided to break from my parents, work full-time and go to school at night. But that didn't seem so exciting either because after 7 years, you're just like "well, finally." Then I also just got a new job, which will get me out of the boring, life-sucking job I had all through college. And I was super excited about that and it took a month to hear I finally got it.. and now I'm just like, okay.
Now what?
I feel like I'm always looking forward to things in life and when they happen, it's back to boring old life and it's depressing. Do I need therapy to ever really be happy?
Answers: This year was the culmination of a long period of waiting for certain things. I got engaged after dating for three years, and while I want to marry him, I wasn't all crazy excited like other girls I know who got engaged. I guess because it took so long that we were already out of the intense, passionate phase. Then I finally graduated college a couple of weeks ago. It took me almost 7 years because I decided to break from my parents, work full-time and go to school at night. But that didn't seem so exciting either because after 7 years, you're just like "well, finally." Then I also just got a new job, which will get me out of the boring, life-sucking job I had all through college. And I was super excited about that and it took a month to hear I finally got it.. and now I'm just like, okay.
Now what?
I feel like I'm always looking forward to things in life and when they happen, it's back to boring old life and it's depressing. Do I need therapy to ever really be happy?
Boy I hear a lot of myself in you. Kind of amusing actually. I know some people who seem to get so excited over things...not me...even though I may be looking forward to it, when it happens...I'm just like...yeah..ok.
I think part of the problem is that we sometimes set ourselves up so that we think this (whatever this might be) will be the thing that brings us happiness--our defining moment...instead of realizing that sometimes it's not what we get out of life that makes us happy, but what we give back to others.
Examine your life a little....what do you do for others that makes you smile?
Not what you work for...not what you earn....but what do you do?
Sometimes the answer to that question can change your focus....and hopefully bring you more happiness.
I'm still struggling with it myself, but I have found that this helps me.
your expectations are out of line with reality. once you get to a goal it seems like no big deal. that seems pretty normal. you just need a new goal.
i have the SAME thing. 'cept the engagement. You stand back and take a look at your life and see that all it is, is you waiting for an event.. it happening... then waiting for the next. But once that event happens, it seems like nothing 'happens' to you. like you have to perception of what to feel. my sister got engaged, and i haven't even congratulated her. Christmas is tomorrow and yet i could care less, even though my family is at my house and i'm getting something i really want. I really dont know how to answer this question, except with this.. I've talked to friends about this and it seems like alot of people are getting 'this'. Some people call it depression, other call it loneliness. I honestly think its a slight case of depression. very mild, but still.. I cant offer any help by which I too am in a drift...
At this point, you've been looking for the climax, so nothing will ever live up to it.
Normal real life feels anti-climatic and low-amplitude because mass media has convinced us that it can be something else with melodramatic plotlines set to dramatic soundtracks. Even in the age of storytellers, our ancestors got stories of bigger-than-life heroes, villains and fantasy. Philosophers over the years have always come back to the question, "what is the meaning of life"? Obviously, none of this came about in the midst of a life full of joy and obvious purpose.
From an objective eye, normal real life is bland. But people can inject meaning and drama into it if they want to, which is probably the case with your friends. I won't pass judgment on that approach.
However, breaking out of "normal life" can be truly exciting. But it can also be a road to destruction. Some people accept this and become rockstars of life: scintillating, short-lived people of passion.
You always look toward the future, which is a good thing. Think of it this way- what if it was switched around? What if you were always stuck in the present? What if you never accomplished anything?
History remembers the ones who follow their dreams.
Sounds like a form of depression to me.
Time to quit focusing on what is next and be happy with what you have and accomplished,
do you have real feelings after a death of funeral or someones sickness, or say oh well, what is next. You are sure to have other feelings.
Maybe you are being selfish and thinking of only yourself and not the others and their happiness that are involved.===
I so love this question. I so appreciate your honesty. I have the same kind of deal going on. Seems like when I get what I thought I really wanted it does not seem like such a big deal. You know, life really is no big deal, really when you think about it. It is just life. We are human and being human is not pleasant at times. It can be boring. Find and do things that interest you and find fulfillment in giving to others. It might work.
Actually it sounds like you're a pretty lucky individual.
You set a goal, go for it, and get it.
Drama isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Some surprises are good, but some can be nasty.
If you're really dissatisfied, set the bar higher.
Just be sure you can handle the occasional disappointment.