How can I stop feeling so insecure?!


Question: You guys, I suffer from social anxiety, and there are times when it becomes so hard for me to be around public. I feel as if everyone is watching and judging me. I know it's just my panic which brings all these thoughts.

What do I think about to be like everyone else? How do I build confidence? Is there anything other than antipsychotic medications?


Answers: You guys, I suffer from social anxiety, and there are times when it becomes so hard for me to be around public. I feel as if everyone is watching and judging me. I know it's just my panic which brings all these thoughts.

What do I think about to be like everyone else? How do I build confidence? Is there anything other than antipsychotic medications?

The sense of others judging you begins with you judging yourself first. I used to judge myself alot and compare myself to others alot. I always thought they were judging me. The rule is, made up information doesn't count.

I was in a wheelchair until I was 20. Guess what? There's no future in feeling that you're being judged or worrying about what other people think. You're as perfect as the day you were born. Don't ever forget that.

I learned a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that really helped me keep my head clear. It says "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." So don't consent. I would never agree to the idea that someone else was better than me. You and your results are what determine everything, and no one else. Of all the people who talk down to us, we are often the best at it. That serves nothing.

The audio files in this source link rock this subject for building confidence!

http://www.healthylife.net/RadioShow/arc...

Keep searching, you'll get there and you'll rise above. Meds just sweep the issue under the rug. The greatest thing I've ever done are these live courses below. My rocket has been firing ever since, and that was 7 years ago. You'll be doing lunar landings in 8 days. You'll completely clear out things that a lifetime of meds and books and bank accounts never will.

http://www.m3ed.com


LOVE
PAUL
P.S. I loved your question!

u r crazy
noone has time to stare u unless u make them to do so.
don't worry be happy

dunno smile at people , take deep breaths and blank your mind of thoughts by thinking of good reasons why they are looking at you

a good friend is in need for you in this situation

be with a confidant friend and everything will be OK

Growing up back then I, too, suffered from social anxiety. I know now what I did not know then. And yes you are right about the meds. I feel the same way.
I do recommend the following:
1. Do see a therapist to help you sort out your thoughts and get to the root of your condition.
2. Seek a psychiatrist too for extra support.
3. Take baby steps towards progress.
4. Try breathing exercises, yoga, pilates.
5. Try things that calm you down.
6. Journal daily.
7. Pray
8. Earn a degree if you don't already have one.
9. Make your mind, heart, and body stronger.
10. Love every bit of yourself. And remember this
in this world there are people who love you and want to see you succeed. There is another group that will want to see you fail.
And there is the rest that just don't care.

You be yourself and live for yourself, embrace who you are.
God made you special and unique for a reason.
If we were to share the same looks, brains, etc then we would just be replicas and be like robots. How exciting would that be? None at all!

First off: anti-psychotic meds have NOTHING to do with self confidence, nor do any other psych meds so I don't know where you got that from, but please forget it before you end up messing with your brain chemicals for no reason. Insecurity is a psychological issue that needs to be dealt with through changes in your patterns of thinking about how you feel about yourself and the world around you. Basically, you need to get your mind to STOP believing that you have any valid reason to be self-conscious before you will be able to rid yourself of your consistent insecurity. Now, if you are looking for professional help with this issue, I would suggest Cognitive Behavorial Therapy, which is a great method used by many people, including many with terrible phobias, that is all about changing the way you think/believe, so you can eventually change the way you feel. But If you do not want to do that or cannot afford therapy, you can also practice some of the CBT techniques on your own. For example: Every time you feel nervous or insecure around people, stop, take a step back from your emotions and really ask yourself "Why do I care so much about what these people are thinking that it is making me feel bad? Why is their opinion really SO extremely important to me? What is the worst that will happen if I do "look bad"? What does that really even mean? Is it something that will really hurt me, that I simply cannot just get over?"etc etc. and answer these questions honestly to yourself until you get into the habit of instinctively challenging your own thoughts ALL the time. That way you will always start playing your own "devil's advocate" when feelings of low confidence arise. Another thing you can do is use "self-talk" to help rid you of your anxiety. It may sound silly, but your brain is always "listening" to you and really does respond to what you tell it, so if you walk into a room and say (whether out loud or not) "OMG I cannot handle this" or "I look so stupid" your brain will believe that this is true and then you will easily get overwhelmed with feeling of insecurity again , but if you get into the habit of saying things that are the opposite of that to yourself i.e. "I am great at talking to people" or "I have the ability to deal with anything that comes my way" (even if you really don't believe it when you say/think it ) the fact that your brain is "hearing" these types of things from you, rather than the reinforcing negative thoughts that are usually there, it will eventually start to be convinced that the new thoughts are the true ones and you may start to feel differently. Think of it as bit like "positive brainwashing" : ) Now, keep in mind this type of thing is not a pill that will cure your insecurity in 3 days. Changing your core beliefs and sense of self-esteem is not easy and will take a lot of effort and repeated practice on your part, BUT I honestly have never heard of anyone who really did put the work in, that did not come out in the long run feeling MUCH better about themselves. Good luck to you!

I once heard a radio show where the presenter said he could cure everyone of thier social anxiety problems. He said everyone should stop being so selfish! Sounds harsh, but what he meant was that when someone is out or at work or whatever, if they stop thinking about how they feel and how they are coming across and start thinking about how everyone else is feeling and how you could contribute to making them feel more comfortable, then you'll find yourself forgeting about your fears and they will dissapear.

I know it's not a cure but I found it quite helpful.

(I've even got an mp3 of the show if your interested and would like to download it!)

I learned that were are worst enemy!

Sometimes I feel that way like everyone is saring at me for some reason but then I tell myself not to let it bother me and that I don't care about what people say about me because deep down I know I am a good person so what they say is wrong.

I think you should hug a close family member and since today is Christmas make a nice gift for them. Bake some cookies and munch. Do not take medications! You're going to be addicted to them like drugs. The best way is to be extra nice to others.





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