Mental blocks on dating?!
Question: I am a 23 year old guy who's never dated or even kissed a girl. Yes, it's pathetic. There are many reasons for it. Basically, there aren't alot of opportunities to meet women in college. Notime. I am very short, and not exactly good looking. I also have very low self esteem, in case you have not guessed.
I also have mental blocks against dating. When I meet a girl who is smart and nice (very rare) I always assume she has a boyfriend. I always say she can do better, she couldn't like me, so I just walk away and go sit down. I don't think very highly of myself. I never feel that I can be good enough. Why would she want to spend time with me? And so on.
I used to try quite often. But after 6 years of nothing but rejection, I sort of gave up. Now, the prospect of starting a relationship for the first time fills me with dread and anxiety and shame. I have no idea how to do anything. ANYTHING, and I just know I'll mess up.
How do I get over these mental blocks, and put downs?
Answers: I am a 23 year old guy who's never dated or even kissed a girl. Yes, it's pathetic. There are many reasons for it. Basically, there aren't alot of opportunities to meet women in college. Notime. I am very short, and not exactly good looking. I also have very low self esteem, in case you have not guessed.
I also have mental blocks against dating. When I meet a girl who is smart and nice (very rare) I always assume she has a boyfriend. I always say she can do better, she couldn't like me, so I just walk away and go sit down. I don't think very highly of myself. I never feel that I can be good enough. Why would she want to spend time with me? And so on.
I used to try quite often. But after 6 years of nothing but rejection, I sort of gave up. Now, the prospect of starting a relationship for the first time fills me with dread and anxiety and shame. I have no idea how to do anything. ANYTHING, and I just know I'll mess up.
How do I get over these mental blocks, and put downs?
I am 21 year old girl and I feel exactly like you, but the problem with me is that everyone around me actually think that I am good looking and I had many people asking me out but just because I think I am not good enough I never had the courage to have a relationship. I even turned down someone who I liked a lot and although he was all into me I was thinking that I am not good enugh for him. I know how much this sucks, and I also know that this is only in our head. So, I would suggest you to not think about your negative points, because self confidence means so much. Think of someone that you think is a perfect man and imagine yourself being him and live one day like him. Self confidence is everything and even if you act like you are good, people weill start believing in it. Also, just be a friend to a girl, show her that you like her but take it slow.
Good luck, and trust me most probably you are not that bad and looks really don't mean anything. The man that I was telling you that I like doesn't look good but I like it because of WHO he is.
Your first step is to just have enough confidence to talk to someone. Just because you talk it doesn't mean you are dating or even thinking of dating the person so don't tell yourself that. You need to develop some friendships and let things develop over time. Get involved in some of the extra-curricular activities at your school. You are bound to meet new people and have an opportunity to hang out with some of them.