Dealing with guilt?!
Question: ok, so i had an abortion 18 months ago. It was 13 weeks. I told my boyfriend, and that made me feel a lot better because he says it was not a baby, etc. he won't evewn let me call it a baby. But is this guilt permanent? Right now i cut myself and strave myself because I feel like i deserve it. Am i right? Is there anyway to stop me from thinking like this?
Answers: ok, so i had an abortion 18 months ago. It was 13 weeks. I told my boyfriend, and that made me feel a lot better because he says it was not a baby, etc. he won't evewn let me call it a baby. But is this guilt permanent? Right now i cut myself and strave myself because I feel like i deserve it. Am i right? Is there anyway to stop me from thinking like this?
Termination of any pregancy remains a much talked about issue and the argument will no doubt go on for eons. But I personally dont regard terminations as anything to be guilty about or stress yourself to the point where you hurt yourself. Remember, any women with an intra-uterine device fitted ( the coil ) is in many ways having a 'mini abortion' every time that it halts conception. What you did was for your own good at the time and was a responsible decision. Remember that you were assisted by health professionals as well so the event was not totally of your own making. I think you can safely put this behind you and look forward to a better future when perhaps the next conception will be planned and part of a loving and safe relationship. There is absolutely no need to let the guilt destroy you here ...... your care and concern for your actions is admirable and you can safely look forward now, not backward. Good luck ....... Oh, just seen the footnote! The abortion therefore was your right and I suspect any girl would have yaken the same route. You have absolutely no guilt to maintain here. You should awaken tomorrow a new person from all of this.
It wasnt a baby, it wasnt a life..only a foetus.
Dont be guilty.
you need help go to the doctors as soon as possible he will send you to a counselor who can help
Remember . You are a different person today to what you was before , and you will be a different person tomorrow .
Don't beat yourself up! It's done, over, is what it is. I had one 35 years ago, does it cross my mind? Sure, but it was the best choice at the time. My daughter is the same age I was, and it would be her decision but she knows that I won't take care of it.
i had 1 about 6 years ago and still remember the date and time it happened some ppl find it hard to get over...but dont feel guilty u did wot was right at the time and thats wot u have to hold on to and the fact u saved it from a cruel world..the pain and guilt will pass.....just give it time
It can be permanent if you dont deal with this now. Guilt and psychological factors like you describe are well known about abortion and you need help before you do some more damage to yourself. Your doctor can help you, but you must tell them exactly how you are feeling. Good luck.
I don't need to tell you that having an abortion is an option best avoided ... always use a condom, no matter what the fella says or tries to persuade you. Take care and look after YOURSELF.
oh my god you must stop this guilt right now babe, i have been though the same over 14 years ago, i know how you feel, its the hardest thing i ever had to do, but please believe me it will get easier, you don`t deserve to hurt yourself, your only hurting yourself for no reason, believe me i went through all the emotions and it was hard but i look back now and know it was for the best. just take each day as it comes, i hope your boyfriend is supporting you through this, take care and i wish you all the best
The first step is accepting the truth (and your boyfriend was incorrect). But realize you were wrong and go on from here.
You were probably misled by the liberal forces in society in addition to your boyfriend, who was likely a selfish pig.
no no1 deserves that u need to get help i know so many peopel that died from that go to the docter yeah u probally feel guilty but u do need help so get some talk to ur parents or ur bestfriend
Just because he is in denial that this was a baby is pretty immature on his part. You call your pregnancy what you want.
Guilt with abortion is common, you have ended a life inside you. I strongly suggest you get some counseling because if you are cutting yourself, you are taking this out on your own body, not good.
I strongly suggest you are responsible as is your partner and use protection (both of you) from now on. Abortion is not birth control.
it was a baby it was a life... but u shouldnt starve ureself or cut ureself... it is in the past i kno it probably hurts a lot, but try to look toward the future when u can get married and hav more babies... maybe to help u stop thinking about it u can say u'll adopt a kid when ure married that might help with the guilt.. also u should realli go to a counsler or maybe a church... but its all right... look FORWARDs
Please do not cut or injure yourself. It is very normal for you to have feelings of guilt and to be depressed. If you are not already on antidepressants, then you need to be. Do your parents know that you were raped and had the abortion? I am so very concerned about your mental health. You need to seek counseling and you need to be on antidepressants to help you through this very painful and stressful time in your life. couseling will help because you will be able to talk about your feelings with a stranger and can do so knowing that this person cannot discuss what you tell them with anyone else. I will not say that I understand your pain, for I have never been raped nor have had to deal with grief from having an abortion, but I can only imagine that your sorrow is overwhelming and that you must have a whole birage of feelings that are overwhelming you. I do not know what your religious beliefs are, but I do know that talking to God can help you. Find a quiet place and pour out your heart. Ask for His help. Even if you do not believe in Him, it will help you because you can be assured that He will never, ever tell anyone anything you say and He will help you to get through this. Please ask your parents to let you see a counselor and to be put on antidepressants. If you do not have insurance and your parents cannot afford to do this for you, then go to social services and ask them if they have a mental health program. They can help you be seen for either free or for very little money. God bless you and please, please, please know that you are very loved and precious to God, your parents, and your boyfriend and that you are the victim here. Do not harm yourself. It will not help change things and will only cause further pain to you and to those that love you!
sorry to hear that. But the longer you hold on to the guilt the longer you stay in it. As tough as it maybe. Whats done is done. Don't let it steal your future?
All the best.
hey Hun. please get counseling or something, i will star it for you in case any of my contacts have any ideas.
i was 16 when i had an termination due to being raped and yes the feling of guilt does stay with you for a while but it does get easier. i am 34 now and got 3 wonderful kids i sometimes think about the termination like the sex of the baby and colour of its eyes etc, but it is only a brief thought. the feeling of guilt will not always be with you and you will get through this, my thoughts at the time was i could not have this baby as it would always have been a reminder of the rape.keep focusing on the future and it sounds like your boyfriend is a good source of support for you, beleive me it will get easier.
I don't think you should feel guilty, the child would have grown up knowing that it's father was a rapist and that it wasn't planned by loving parents, and your boyfriend probably wouldn't want to bring up his girlfriends rapists kid. I think you did the right thing and stopped alot of upset, stop hurting yourself! Good luck!! =]