Would I seem clingy or needy to you?!
Question: I'm very shy and soft-spoken. In big groups, I clam up and remain timid and insecure. A few people have patiently allowed me to open up gradually and are gently embracing what they see tho. I want to open up to them more but I'm still very cautious and soft-spoken. I attach quickly. But I have trouble finding a balance between opening up and being quiet. Mostly being quiet wins over. I don't want to get on anyone's nerves. I've sent holiday text messages, will wait to quietly walk with them and will sometimes offer input to a conversation. I've even gotten up the courage to invite them to 2 parties even tho they couldn't go.
Would I seem clingy or needy in my actions?
Answers: I'm very shy and soft-spoken. In big groups, I clam up and remain timid and insecure. A few people have patiently allowed me to open up gradually and are gently embracing what they see tho. I want to open up to them more but I'm still very cautious and soft-spoken. I attach quickly. But I have trouble finding a balance between opening up and being quiet. Mostly being quiet wins over. I don't want to get on anyone's nerves. I've sent holiday text messages, will wait to quietly walk with them and will sometimes offer input to a conversation. I've even gotten up the courage to invite them to 2 parties even tho they couldn't go.
Would I seem clingy or needy in my actions?
As you might be starting to guess, there's an awful lot of people out there who don't have that much confidence so don't worry yourself too much - you're really not alone.
The thing to remember is the people you notice are the ones who are confident and "out there", whereas if you actually look round a group, how many of those people actually just sat there and said nothing. We naturally assume that the majority are briming with confidence, but actually even those who do the talking you might well find are really insecure, they just put on a front.
Self-confidence is a slow thing to build, but if you find people you feel secure with and people who you know will listen to you without judging then that's where you start to create it. can't promise any overnight miracles, but it'll come.
As for clingy and needy - no more than most.
Just do be careful about the attaching thing. It's really easy to do, but I know from personal experience it can lead to heart ache and worse.
Trev - exactly the same as you!
send me a message^_^ please and you and i will talk about this im sort of the same way sooo we just have bigger needs to hadle my sn is on my answers pf same with my e-mail^_^ hope to hear from you
No, you seem fine. It just sounds like you are naturally a reserved person and probably a little cautious about who you feel comfortable with. I am similar and have been that way my whole life. That is me and I don't make excuses for it either.
If you "attach quickly" that is a warning sign of neediness and that is not good at all.
Being shy and soft-spoken and cautious are all things that you need to evaluate. We all have a certain amount of shyness in us and caution is self-protection, but when you act like your contribution is not valuable, that's bad.
Learn to express yourself, who cares if someone doesn't appreciate your opinion or not, it is your opinion and you are entitled to have it.
But I caution you to be very careful with you ability to attach too quickly, that can be dangerous. Best to work on that.
No, every group of people is constituted of people of different make-up, each has their place. Just sit in there, try to focus on what's actually going on, being said etc. not the self consciousness going on in your head. You'll find things to say when they are worth saying. In the meantime the more talkative/extrovert ones need an audience, without you they'd be lost. Be yourself, be happy, stop worrying.
Tell me about it....... You are describing how I have been for most of my life.
Now I'm getting on in years (WOW 60 next August) I am feeling a little more confidence in myself. Yes I do still attach to people and find it hard to know what to say and often wonder how they know what to talk about.
But if you really study the talkers, most of them talk about nothing.
Start finding yourself and BE YOURSELF your opinion is just as important as anyone else's. We came into this world exactly the same and it all depends on where you were born. How you ere educated etc.. but that don't mean that YOU are any less important than anyone else.
Look at it this way, if I said God told me to kill this man down the street, I would get arrested or sectioned as having Schizophrenia. Yet the President kills a few million people and said God wanted me to do this and it's pretty cool.......
So my friend have confidence in yourself, I would rather listen to a little bird than some loud mouth person. So have your say, everyone has things to share with the world and you are no exception....... I'm listening... so speak out at the volume that you have. I am often asked to speak a louder, but the best part of that is "I am often asked to speak" the little louder I may never be able to do.
If you want to speak louder, then find pages on the internet of a book and read it out loud, then read it again and see if you can read it louder. But I have found I can get my points across by being myself.... quiet.
May all your dreams be fulfilled in 2008
With Love
from
Ray H.
I think you are fine. You should interact on the level you feel most comfortable.
You sound incredibly sweet and shy. You may have low self esteem. There is nothing wrong with that as long as it doesn't hinder you from being happy. If it does, talk to a therapist