How Do I Beat This Depression?!


Question: I'm 17 and in high school, and I have terrible emotional rides. I've spent most of my high school career depressed and I'm becoming more and more anti-social because I don't have any good friends or people to relate to. I just can't be happy with myself and I have every reason to be. I'm an honors student, I'm in a ton of activities, and my teachers like me. It's not that people my age don't like me, but I'm just seen as the "smart girl" and I get left out so much. My parents don't believe in the therapy or medication thing, but I can't get out of this slump I'm in and it's starting to affect me. I'm tired all of the time, I eat too much, and I'm not motivated to do anything. I don't know what to do to gain confidence and not be so irrational with my feelings and reactions, and I truly think I'm driving myself crazy. What do I do? I need very good advice because I am at my wits end and I'm lost. Thanks.


Answers: I'm 17 and in high school, and I have terrible emotional rides. I've spent most of my high school career depressed and I'm becoming more and more anti-social because I don't have any good friends or people to relate to. I just can't be happy with myself and I have every reason to be. I'm an honors student, I'm in a ton of activities, and my teachers like me. It's not that people my age don't like me, but I'm just seen as the "smart girl" and I get left out so much. My parents don't believe in the therapy or medication thing, but I can't get out of this slump I'm in and it's starting to affect me. I'm tired all of the time, I eat too much, and I'm not motivated to do anything. I don't know what to do to gain confidence and not be so irrational with my feelings and reactions, and I truly think I'm driving myself crazy. What do I do? I need very good advice because I am at my wits end and I'm lost. Thanks.

I've struggled with depression for 13 years now (I'm 23 and I was diagnosed when I was 10) so I know how you feel. The first thing I would recommend is support groups. I know you said your parents don't believe in therapy or medication but support groups are free and there are tons of them out there. Also, talk to your school counselors. You have no idea how much time I spent in my counselor's office when I was in high school. At the very least, they can help you figure out an action plan, and perhaps they could work with you and your parents to figure something out. I know you probably have a ton of people around you telling you "it'll be okay" and "just cheer up" but they don't always know how deep the depression is. I definitely recommend just finding someone you can talk to. You're 17 now and still a minor so I don't advocate going behind your parents back for anything, but instead, involve them in what's going on and maybe if you do find a group or something that works for you, bring them with.

As far as doing something to help yourself, I agree that you need to work on some positive self-talk. Everyday, just think of one little thing that made you happy that day. It could be anything. Some days, I feel like nothing went right and then I realize, "hey, I had Panda Express for lunch and it was awesome" and at the very least, I can say that something went right during that day. I've learned as well that when it comes to doing things, I am the least motivated person alive. But someone told me once "do it, and the motivation will follow" and it works. Sometimes you have to fake motivation and it eventually does come.

Also, stop labeling yourself as "irrational" and "crazy". You are who you are, and every feeling, no matter how weird and strange it might seem, is valid because you feel it. No one can ever tell you that you shouldn't be feeling a certain way. I found that with myself, I am my own worst enemy because I am more judgemental on myself than anyone else. Think of some of the things you tell yourself, and then think, "would I take that kind of talk from someone else" and if you wouldn't, then why on earth do you take it from yourself? There have been times that I've said to myself, "you're ugly, you're fat, and you're annoying" and it's like, if someone else said that to me, I'd be pissed off. So why do I take abuse like that from myself? I should be cheering myself on ten times as much!

Anyways, I know I wrote a novel here but I hope some of this helps. I'll leave you with one last thought that I've learned through years of therapy: "98% of what we worry about never happens, 1% is not as bad as we think, and the other 1% I can handle." Good luck!

kk im just like u


every moringing look at yourself in the mirror. ask these questions:

whats my best feature?
i am beautiful
and just compliment yourself


the way u walk out the door will affect your day....so make it happy.


if they think ur too smart. then ur too smart for them. because only stupid people would say omg shes way to smart .

you need to look at yourself in a good way.

maybe go to a spa day and get a massage

have you tried porn? it works for guys.

Oh! you're not alone! I totally understand what you're feeling because I'm 17 too and I'm dealing with everything you're going through as well. Can you drive? If you can, invite some friends out! Start calling them more. What you need is interaction with people. The worst way to deal with depression is to stay home and think and do homework (most of the times you can't even do that because you're so depressed). You need to get out and do something to keep your mind active.

Also, I like to think about college to remind me why I spend so much of my time doing school things. Just remember, once you get to college (I'm sure it's not so far off) you'll be free to do whatever you want.

You can always email me if you need someone to talk to. Take care =)

Try to avoid becoming more and more anti-social; You say you are in a ton of activities? Could it be to much for you? (Stress? Little Time? Too High Expectations by either yourself or your parents?) You also say you are tired, eating too much, depressed... It think this may be something subconscious, something under the surface. Is there high blood-pressure and head-aches too? If yes, it could be serious stress. If not, i still think there is something going on.
First; try to get a healty biorhythm (Sleep on time, wake up on time, eat 3x a day on standard times). Please try meditation, I'm pretty sure it will help. You don't have to attend yoga or something, just relax... meditate..
Don't have negative self image, have confidence. Sometimes a friend needs to remind you about that... (Well consider me being a friend for a sec), and I'll say: You are beautiful, successful, clever and a person with the heart on the right place. Don't forget courageous, you posted the question on Y!A, that's way better than keep it for yourself and getting more and more depressive every second. Success.

Well, I can tell you right now, don't take the self-injury method. It helps me, but now I have much bigger problems. Cutting your wrists, hitting yourself, etc. is NOT the answer!
Ok, now, I'd try sitting your parents down and talking to them. Tell them if they don't believe in therapy that's fine, but you do. If they still say no, try talking to them about your problems. It's obvious you keep a lot of things bundled inside of you, and you need to get them out. If you have anyone at school or even outside of school you're close to, I'd try to spend more time with them and get closer, enough to trust them and tell them about what you're going through. You're 17, which means highs school. Try going to a teacher, guidance counselor, or even the principal. Tell them what you're going through and I'm sure they'd try their hardest to help you, whether it be talking with you themselves or calling your parents and talking to them.
Hope I could help. Good luck! :)





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