How to help him to get out of his depression?!


Question: My brother is in a deep depression.He was engaged 5 months ago and his fiance was 4 months pregnant.Suddenly he called off the engagement and asked his fiance to make abortion and they broked up.Soon he started dating another girl but he had erection problems and was unable to have sex with her and he explained his problem with that she is unattractive(she is really).His ex is a very beautiful and sexy girl ,like a model,and may be he compares her to this girl.Now he wants his ex fiance back but he knows she won't back to him and recently she told him to stop pursue her.Now he is in a big depression and lost interest in everything.I would like to help him.Any ideas how i could help him.


Answers: My brother is in a deep depression.He was engaged 5 months ago and his fiance was 4 months pregnant.Suddenly he called off the engagement and asked his fiance to make abortion and they broked up.Soon he started dating another girl but he had erection problems and was unable to have sex with her and he explained his problem with that she is unattractive(she is really).His ex is a very beautiful and sexy girl ,like a model,and may be he compares her to this girl.Now he wants his ex fiance back but he knows she won't back to him and recently she told him to stop pursue her.Now he is in a big depression and lost interest in everything.I would like to help him.Any ideas how i could help him.

Definitely slap him around.
Leave the mother of your child?????
Break off your engagement and then sleep around?????
Not being able to get an erection doesn't have anything to do with how the other woman looks. It has everything to do with the fact that your brother is feeling MAJOR GUILT about leaving someone he made very deep promises to, and abandoning his child.
I wouldn't take him back either - how would she know that he'd not freak out at the prospect of being a grown-up and fulfilling all of his responsibilities again?????
It's time for him to grow up and realize that he's hurt a few people. Apologies all around are in order.
Then maybe he can start to heal the relationships he's damaged.
It will take counseling and time.
I hope he's up to the challenge.
In the meantime, you can be supportive of him - but don't tell him he's done anything right - he hasn't.
Good luck.

complement him

Slap him really hard around the Face while shouting "Pull yourself together Man ".
That usually helps.

honestly he needs make first step seeing a professional counsler and doctor depression is a serious illness no pep talk or hugs get a person out of it medication and support does but he has to be willing to play his part good luck

Get him out of the house. Help him mingle and get back into circulation. Maybe he will find someone new to date. If he is really severe, talk to his doctor and get him some medication and counseling.

is she still pregnant? if she is, he needs to be in that baby's life. he needs to tell her how he feels and that he's not pushing her, but thinks he made a huge mistake b/c he really loves her and wants to do what right (if she didn't go through with the abortion). maybe you can talk to her and let her know that your brother is really depressed and ask her to atleast talk to him.

Your brother needs a doctor.The problem is serious,the depression leads to a suicide.So find for your brother a really good psychoanalytic or doctor.

u cant help him,he really needs professional help,there are too many issues,besides from plain ordinary depression for a girl to help him with,especially a sister. He needs a trusted male therapist to help him work through the relationship issues,maybe he is grieving over lost fetus? Just be a good sister and keep telling him you will allways be there for him and he will approach you when he is ready.

Well, you are obviously there for him, which is a start, try to get him interested in a hobby, maybe you can both share together, also try him on ST John's Wort, it's a herbal remedy, quite widely used here in the UK, depression is a dreadful thing to shake off, I have had it my self.
Good Luck, & Happy new year

Wow, what a mess... If his ex is already over him, then there is not point in him trying to get back with her, it would be unfair to her to bring back all those old feelings.

He's gonna have to find someone else and move on. the first step would be figuring out why he called it off. Obviously thats where his problems started, and then go from there.

If his depression gets to the point where it keeps him from doing what he needs to he will need to see someone regularly and meds will also help. He can't do this alone, you'll have to be there for him constantly, and don't expect him to tell you if things are getting worse, you have to keep an eye on him and when you see that he's really down, don't bring it up just take him someone where and do something you guys both enjoy to take his mind off things.

You're not going to like this answer . . . but having older and younger siblings I know this to be true.

You **cannot** help someone who won't help themselves. By your description, you're brother doesn't know what he wants. Anything you say or do is likely to fall on deaf ears.

Furthermore, you may be *unknowingly* supporting his behaviors. Whenever something goes wrong in his life, do you rush in to help? Try to solve it for him?

When someone gets in this mindset, this is what they want. Look at me, poor me, life is so hard, feed me your nurturing energy. This is what they want.

You need to, as a previous answer says, play hard ball and slap him around a bit (mentally.) Wake him up, make him take a look at his life, and HELP HIMSELF.

This is the best thing a big sis can do.

Hi Natalie....

Ordinary depression stems from tumultuous events in our lives. It will pass if that is what it is. Your brother might be consumed with guilt over the bad treatment of his fiance and mother of his child. To ask someone 4 months pregnant to abort is a terrible thing. Especially if it was done from just getting cold feet or fear of responsibility. Not judging at all, just explaining the facts.

If the depression deepens it could become clinical and he should seek therapy to explore the reasons behind his decision. We all make mistakes and impulsive choices that are ultimately bad for us, and if we bury them and try to ignore the reasons it can cause long term emotional damage.
For his wellbeing and own self understanding he may need that professional help. One of the things he could do to start to come out of it is to apologize in a letter to his ex fiancee. I suggest a letter, because he can write his heart out with no distractions or interruptions or the possibility of her causing disruptions in his train of thought or him getting upset that she doesn't respond in the way he would like her too.

Most of all it is important that he forgives himself whether she does or not. We are all human and capable of great stupidity and pain. To carry guilt and or shame is a way of slowly destroying ourselves inside and keeping us from being able to interact with others in a healthy way...good luck to your brother hon. If she truly loved him she may reconsider after she has had a time to heal...but right now she looks at him as betrayer and that he wanted her to destroy the child they made together. She too may need counciling.

Love and God bless...

Pami

I was a depressive.
There is only one way out of depression or addiction for that matter. The Addict/Depressive has to come to the realisation that he/she cannot continue in this vein. They have to take responsibility for their own life and problems, kick themselves in the rear get off their fat behind and do something positive about it. They and they alone can cure or alleviate the symptoms of their disease/mental malfunctioning. All the trick cyclists friends and relatives in the world can only help and advise and be there for the person suffering. In the long run they and THEY ALONE have the SOLUTION to THEIR PROBLEM(s).
This is probably not the answer you are seeking or that they want iether but it is the TRUTH.

Having read the above answers i agree with action mans idea. However if that doesnt work bite his testicles very hard that will take his mind off everything.
Also you should look on the side theres a girl with model looks get in there.





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