Cycle of Depression?!
Question: Ok I am going to describe a loop and I want someone to tell me how to break the loop.
I am a depressed person with no car, no (or very limited) money, no job, recently got kicked out of college for being suicidal, and this home I'm in is a hellhole and I just want to die everytime my parents start on me. They even took half my meds, the ambiene I need for sleep and the Xanax. They finally gave me back my Lexapro. I'm 20 years old. I didn't ask for this to happen but now I'm in a never ending loop, have tried therapy, and just wish there was a way to break the downward spiral. Help! And I am not 100% positive the Lexapro is working...
Answers: Ok I am going to describe a loop and I want someone to tell me how to break the loop.
I am a depressed person with no car, no (or very limited) money, no job, recently got kicked out of college for being suicidal, and this home I'm in is a hellhole and I just want to die everytime my parents start on me. They even took half my meds, the ambiene I need for sleep and the Xanax. They finally gave me back my Lexapro. I'm 20 years old. I didn't ask for this to happen but now I'm in a never ending loop, have tried therapy, and just wish there was a way to break the downward spiral. Help! And I am not 100% positive the Lexapro is working...
I have struggled with depression since I was 4 years old; I'm 26 now. Many people told my parents something was wrong with me but they refused to admit it until I attempted suicide when I was 16. Firstly, your parents are stupid for taking away your meds. Tell your doctor what they did and find some way of hiding your meds from them. It's none of their business, they don't have to know. If you depend on them to pay for meds talk to your doctor. Right now I do not have insurance and can't afford my meds, so my doctor gives me the samples she gets at no charge. She usually gives me about a 3 month supply at a time. Secondly, you need to take charge of your treatment. For years I did exactly what the doctors said but it wasn't till I took charge that I noticed improvement. The meds the doctors were prescribing weren't working so I started researching different meds in the internet. I read about how they worked, side effects, and what type of person they were most likely to help. Then I marched into my psychiatrist's office and said, "we've tried it your way for years and your way isn't working. This is what I want to try and this is why I think it will work." With the doctors I tried 13 different meds and shock therapy and still remained depressed. After I took charge I only switched meds twice. Also, research different psychiatric conditions. They may have misdiagnosed you and that is why the meds don't work fully. If your doc doesn't listen to you, find a new one. Lastly, and most importantly, you asked how to break the downward spiral. You break the cycle by forcing yourself to be happy; by forcing yourself to go out with friends when you want to lie in bed, forcing yourself to laugh when you want to cry, forcing yourself to look at anything that makes you happy you're alive no matter how small. IT WILL BE THE HARDEST THING YOU'LL EVER HAVE TO DO BUT YOU MUST DO IT. When you feel the symptoms of depression coming on do something that makes you happy. If you have young extended family members (kids) take one of them to the park, watch a movie that makes you laugh, or listen to a comedy routine on a cd. You can also start by getting a job. I know that not having money isn't helping. Start with a part-time job, and do not let yourself call in sick. Then get a hobby. You could also volunteer. There is something about seeing other people's problems that makes yours more bearable. Albert Einstein once said, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting to get different results." No matter how many times you add 2 and 2 together you will always get 4. So when you add 2 and 2 together over and over hoping to get 10, it's insanity! Whatever you're doing now is feeding your depression rather than helping it, so change what you're doing and you will get different results. Like I said it will be the hardest thing you ever do, but don't waste 9 years like I did.
You need to seek counseling or go admit your self in the hospital so they can put you in a program to help you.........You need medical help and your parents taking away your meds is NOT the answer. Please seek help and suicide is not the answer sweetheart....I promise
Try paroxateine. You sound a bit wimpy. Try believing in the positive things YOU could be doing with your life. You're an adult now. You don't need to let parents and circumstances dictate your path in life. When the tough gets going you just run back in a cave and hide and stay there. While you're in the cave determine you have self-determination, your own individual sovereignty. Take charge of your kingdom of one and make it beautiful instead of thinking someone while will see the sad state of affairs of your tumble-down shack you're occupying and consider you as a nice fixer-upper. At least give your shack some curb-side appeal. Seriously, take your life seriously. Give your life meaning and dignity, it's there already, but you are slapping it in the face with your attitudes and basically telling it when it confronts you with some menial options:"Get out of town, you can't be serious!" Quit taking your life for granted, it passes by quickly enough. Why take another ten years of your life to come to these conclusions you could reach right here and now and start rebuilding your life now. Some people get lucky and have those around them who will cover up the indignities we all go through when we trip up and fall and have to get up again. Maybe you're not that lucky, but don't amplify your already present shame by staying down in the mud because you lack the backbone and self-preservation instinct to manage to get up on your own and fight for what's rightfully yours. C'mon, pull yourself together man!
You are an intelligent individual from looking at your answers , my guess is you are pretty confused right now and things seem real bad now you were kicked out of college.
I know it is hard but you have to believe in yourself and your ability to get yourself out of this, You are a young man and life can be very very tough for a number of years for so many reasons.
I see you have tried therapy and cant work with It I can identify with that . Maybe consider that there are different styles of therapy and the relationships between person and therapist are so very important. a bad experience can leave a person believing that therapy cannot help them when in fact it can , maybe a different style of therapy.
when you say your home is a hell hole I cant really imagine what the exact scenario is but , i imagine things might be tough for your parents too.
Try to believe in your ability to find some answers for yourself , do some research on therapeutic techniques even different types of self help.