Idenity crisis!?!
Question: okay well im a 12, almost 13 year old girl who is really confused. i never thougt about it before,buti found my self asking my self "what sexual orentation am I" i mean i want to be straight, not just becuase of what society will think, but becuase in the future , i want to see my self with a guy as my partner and definatly not a women, i keep on saying that to mslef but there this dumb voice in ym head telling me otherwise. my mom tells me that anything in your head that you dont want to belive or is negative, is from the devil, and that i should pray more. btu psycologically, what is it. i mean my friend also said that thinking that a girl is pretty doesnt mean im lesbian or bisexual. and thats what im trying to belive, but then that stupid voice tells me things i dont wanna hear. what can i do to stop this voice, and just know that im straight with out having to question myself? I also think it could be soething about puberty, but im not sure. thanks for the help.
Answers: okay well im a 12, almost 13 year old girl who is really confused. i never thougt about it before,buti found my self asking my self "what sexual orentation am I" i mean i want to be straight, not just becuase of what society will think, but becuase in the future , i want to see my self with a guy as my partner and definatly not a women, i keep on saying that to mslef but there this dumb voice in ym head telling me otherwise. my mom tells me that anything in your head that you dont want to belive or is negative, is from the devil, and that i should pray more. btu psycologically, what is it. i mean my friend also said that thinking that a girl is pretty doesnt mean im lesbian or bisexual. and thats what im trying to belive, but then that stupid voice tells me things i dont wanna hear. what can i do to stop this voice, and just know that im straight with out having to question myself? I also think it could be soething about puberty, but im not sure. thanks for the help.
It's completely normal to have feelings like this. Especially in your teen years, establishing an identity is at the forefront of your goals (even if it's subconscious). There are so many different paths to choose regarding careers, friends, and yes, even sexual orientation. These voices aren't from the devil, but if you are religious, praying may help you make sense of them. Sexual orientation is a huge part of your identity, and luckily, at (almost) 13, you have tons of time to figure it out still. You can try dating some guys, and see if it's right for you. This is not a decision to be rushed into- unfortunately, psychologically speaking, teens are much more likely to rush into decisions based completely on emotion rather than weighing logic and consequences.
All I can say is, you're only 12. Don't feel like you need to make a decision immediately. A large amount of people (much more than would ever admit it) have had feelings just like yours. And also, your friend is right- thinking a girl is pretty doesn't make you gay at all. I'm sure just about every woman out there would say Angelina Jolie is pretty, right? Try not to stress out about it too much.
Hope I was able to help a little.
hmmm you might have attractions to girls but a lot of women do...but its not like you want to have relationships with them
then again youre pretty young, see how you feel in a few years
haha
forget bout da stupid voices.. nd believe wat U believe...
***** if ur hearing voices ur crazy lol but if u find urself looking at girls and wanting to be with them or liking them really cheking them out theirs a possibility ur bi or gay its not a crime to be bi or gay and u dont have to label urself, but just bc u think a girl is pretty doesnt mean u rbi or gay . Ur young ur prob just curious sometimes it s a phase other times its not.
When you get older, you'll be able to figure this out. Don't let anyone!! i mean anyonee!! pressure you into believing other than you wish to believe. Youll grow out of it eventually[: And, if you are lesbian, or bi-sexual so what? it's your choice, your body, your right. to be who you are[:
h.t.h.
hope this helps
becca-
You poor child! Is someone making you feel pressure to answer this question now, at such a young age? At your age, you don't need to be concerned about what your sexual orientation is. You're not planning on having sex are you? Of course not. Not until you're an adult. When you're an adult, you'll have more experience with people and you'll know yourself much better than you do now. You'll be much better prepared to answer this question and decide what it means in your life. Right now, you need to be a kid. Trust me. Be a kid while you can. Sexual orientation will matter later. Right now you can hold hands and be close with any friend you want to and not have to worry about it like adults do. I hope you will stop trying to wrap your head around this and just try to have a fun remainder of your childhood. If someone is pressuring you, tell them you don't have to decide that right now and to leave it be. Good luck!
I just turned 13. I occationally wonder "Could I be bi?" Because I'm in love with a guy, but I'm wondering if it would have made a differance if he was a girl. I thought about it... and the sight of me kissing a girl creeped me out. I was yelling "BAD IMAGE! BAD IMAGE!" Literally. Picture yourself kissing a guy, then a girl. Do you freak/"ew" on either occurance? If you freek/"ew" on one, you don't like that gender. It's simple. Girl's have questions. People have questions. It's part of life to wonder about these things.
I know how you feel, alot of people go through this around that age. You're what would be classified as 'bi-curious'. Either you'll really start to get curious and find out that you are homosexual and there is nothing to be ashamed of, or you'll grow out of it.
It is good that you recognize you are young.
Allow yourself to grow up. You will change over the next few years and you will eventually answer your own question and find your own identity.
Btw, the devil does not exist. The voice in your head is your own. Everyone has that voice. You will eventually learn to listen to good advice from yourself and ignore bad advice from yourself.
The fact that you may think a girl is pretty does not make you a lesbian or bisexual. A lot of girls can find other girls attractive in a non-sexual way. I grew up with 4 sisters, and they've always been very open about this sort of things. I could say that is almost a phase that most girls go through.. specially now a days when being gay or lesbian is not as big of a deal as it was in the 60's. I would advice you to hold on on labeling yourself. Try making friends and find what you truly like about a guy/girl and compare those things. A lot of times we are able to separate those qualities that we like in a person and those that we simply love and cannot live without. Good luck.
Ya know I'm 11 and I hav problems like that so I can relate! Just because of what other people might think of you doesn't neccesarily mean it's true. There could be true things about ur idenity that people know about and you hoped not but everything happens for a reason and this reason is gonna com right at you in the longrun. I may not be old and wise but I know that whenever there is a voice telling me something to do which is wrong I can tell from which is right. You make the path in ur life, society might know some things but you keep those good things to urself and thank god people don't know ur past. It might have been good but ALL people make mistakes. That voice that's telling you something wrong is just the devil tryin to decieve you! You should know right from wrong, ur 12 going on 13. And my mom did teach me about Heaven and Hell so I know where I want to go and I'm going there. Nothing is stopping you from living ur life except urself. Don't ever be discouraged about who you know is ur savior, the one and only Jesus Christ. Just know that when the prayers go up the blessings come down so just remember that and you'll be fine!
GOOD LUCK!
Hi ~ I sing and dance too.. ha ha ha
Anyways, it is absolutely normal to look at pretty girls or cute guys for that matter... you wouldn't be HUMAN if you didn't. Actually, a friend of mine says that you know a girl is really hot ~ when even other girls are looking at her! And that is a fact. As far as sexual orientation you are still young and your curiosity ALWAYS works overtime when you are that age. ITS A HORMONE THING - A NORMAL GROWTH PERIOD that all girls go through. Despite what anyone else says, just trust in your own feelings to guide you! (that's what that little voice is - your very own subconsciousness) ***JUST remember ~ If it feels wrong..... it probably is!!!
Ultimately, it's your life and your choice....
Take care, and good luck !!!
yes there are going to be so many people that tell you it is not ok but it is fine and you should go with your gut and there is a posiblity that in the end your mom might except what you want, not what she wants. You cant stop the voice there is a small chance it could be a faze or it could be just who you are. So many people tell me I am wrong because of my religion but I dont worry about what they say because that is who I am. good luck and it will all work it sell out
Well, just like being left or right handed (or ambidextrous), most people think sexual orientation something we are born with. (link below to the American Psychological Association).
(Similarly, a mere two or three generations ago many people considered left handers to be evil and forced them to write right handed. There is nothing wrong with you regardless of what gender you feel attracted toward)
Regarding voices I have ask: are you speaking figuratively (you have thoughts about these things), or literally (you actually hear other voices telling you things). If it is the second one (literally) you should probably speak with a mental health professional, or at least your school counselor/psychologist. This can be a sign of schizophrenia, (although it is more common in males in their late teens/early 20's, 2nd link below) which is treatable - especially if it is treated early.