What do i do about her?!
Question: ive been dating this girl for about 4 years(since 8th grade...were juniors now), she doesnt have the best of relationships with her family, and i just found out she cuts herself when she gets upset. yesterday i was over her house and she got into a fight with her brother, and then she went to the bathroom, a few minutes after she came back, there was a red line bleeding through her jeans at the top of her thigh, she tried to blame it on her period, but after a while, she finally said that clinical depression runs in her family, and that she cuts when things like that happen. i'm seriously worried, i really love her, but i dont know what to do, the annoying thing is that her family knows this but they arent giving her any help. what do i do?
Answers: ive been dating this girl for about 4 years(since 8th grade...were juniors now), she doesnt have the best of relationships with her family, and i just found out she cuts herself when she gets upset. yesterday i was over her house and she got into a fight with her brother, and then she went to the bathroom, a few minutes after she came back, there was a red line bleeding through her jeans at the top of her thigh, she tried to blame it on her period, but after a while, she finally said that clinical depression runs in her family, and that she cuts when things like that happen. i'm seriously worried, i really love her, but i dont know what to do, the annoying thing is that her family knows this but they arent giving her any help. what do i do?
alright man, i've been there and it's mad scary. my girl was long-distance, though. don't force her into therapy or anything, and don't threaten to leave her if she doesn't get help. nothing like that. it'll just make her feel worse. i'd say just explain that cutting is really dangerous, and that you care about her too much to let her keep doing it. if she's cutting down by her thigh, she's really close to a major artery, which is about as dangerous as cutting your neck where your carotid's at. it's not a game, and she can't keep playing it. if her family situation is bad, maybe she could live with you or another friend that you know wouldn't let her cut? if she's depressed, she might need help. the best thing you could do is take away anything she could use to cut. i made my girlfriend promise to throw away her razors and she got herself a bunch of nair. you have to let your girl know that you're not doing this to make her life worse or anything like that, just that you love her and are worried about her. spend as much time with her as possible - that's where you're lucky. i didn't have that option. and as bad as this last one might sound, it's something that worked with my girlfriend. i made her show me her cuts. i think the look on my face was enough to make her stop. (now that we're broken up she's cutting again so i'm just trying to show her i love her and all that, but that's a different story.) it can be mad embarrassing to show someone the cuts you've made and it'll hurt for both of you, but if nothing else is working you both need it. for you, it's evaluating how often she cuts, how deep, and all that so you can decide if you need to have professionals intervene. for her, it'll show her that it isn't just affecting her. and i hate to say this, but if she's still not getting it and you can't get help for her, you could always ask her to cut in front of you. she most likely won't, and it'll turn into an emotional love situation when she'll realize she can't cut with you there hurting for her. i've heard of other stuff, like saying "if you're gonna cut, do it in this room" and then you have a picture of yourself in there so it's harder to do, and writing your name on her arm/thigh/etc so she can see it before she would cut. it probably seems cocky, but i'm betting she really really loves you if she trusted you enough to let you know man.
you should try to stop her before she cuts herself. Try not letting her cut herself when you know that she's gonna do it. Im sorry.
uve been with her for 4 yrs and u just found out now?
talk to her about it
take her to a councillor.. therapist ...
but don let her go on anti depressants
a doctor will precribe it for sureee
they get money for all the priscriptions they give out
and beleive me.. ive been on tehm
they will screw her up... i triedt o kill my self while on them
turned into an alcholic..
u jus need to b there for her n guide her htro ur rough patches. if family is really taht horrible..
maybe she can live else where.. lik ea realtives house or something
good luck
You need to talk to a Counselor at school and let them know that her parents know about the issue but they are not doing anything. Chances are her parents don't know anything and your girlfriend told you they do just so you would not go to them. If you really love her you will go to the ends of the earth to help her in anyway that you can and you can start by telling a counselor, teacher or your school nurse. Do not let this go on any further. If all else fails then I suggest that you call Child Protective Services and make them aware of the situation. I wish you the best!
Be supportive. Let her know that you care enough to be there for her during any rough spots. The cutting is a serious condition that requires talking to a medical professional but if she can't or won't do that then just be strong. It's a shame about her family but some people are like that and just ignore the bad things.
This is an extremely serious mental issue.
You should be thinking about getting out of this relationship. Your relationship will get worse and who knows if she uses you as a crutch instead of facing her illness.
For her, you should talk to your parents first. They will probably tell you to get out but may also involve a school counselor and/or child protective services, especially if she is not currently in therapy.
Take her to a "free clinic", they will help you both, you must keep in mind the is effecting your psychological health as well.
you support her...you talk to her...you try to offer her alternatives to cutting to deal with her pain. be a good friend to her right now....self mutilation is a hard thing to recover from, but many self mutilators, myself included, go on to lead normal, healthy, happy lives and can eventually ween themselves away from the mutilation. she has to want to quit cutting, though, in order for it to do any good. just remind her all the time that you love her, and that you are there to help her in anyway you can. good luck!!
u really can't understand if you are not a cutter but you can still be there for her you sound like a great guy theres a lot of great stuff on this website and if you have any questions u can e mail me thru my profile