How do you deal with people who think mental illness is a character flaw?!
Question: I have severe clinical depression, and am being treated for it. Still, I have days where I am so depressed I cannot even speak or eat. When I 'shut down' I get yelled at by my mother and sister. They get in my face and call me a loser. They tell me if I would just take in more fresh air, not be indoors so much, that I would be better. They believe mental illness is a choice. That I can 'snap out of it'. The other day I was feeling suicidal and mentioned I needed to see my therapist, and my mom said "sometimes I think everyone would be better off if you just killed yourself, if you don't plan on making anything of your life." I'm hurt, i'm lost. How can I make people understand what i'm going through isn't a choice, and that comments like 'we'd be better off without you' are very dangerous to me right now.
Getting away from my family isn't an option. I'm staying with my mom because i'm too ill to work at the moment, and I have no where else to go.
Answers: I have severe clinical depression, and am being treated for it. Still, I have days where I am so depressed I cannot even speak or eat. When I 'shut down' I get yelled at by my mother and sister. They get in my face and call me a loser. They tell me if I would just take in more fresh air, not be indoors so much, that I would be better. They believe mental illness is a choice. That I can 'snap out of it'. The other day I was feeling suicidal and mentioned I needed to see my therapist, and my mom said "sometimes I think everyone would be better off if you just killed yourself, if you don't plan on making anything of your life." I'm hurt, i'm lost. How can I make people understand what i'm going through isn't a choice, and that comments like 'we'd be better off without you' are very dangerous to me right now.
Getting away from my family isn't an option. I'm staying with my mom because i'm too ill to work at the moment, and I have no where else to go.
I'm sorry to hear about your depression. I'm not a psychiatrists, but I can give you what I hope is logical advice as I work with kids and their problems on a regular basis in my Martial Arts studio. Talk to your therapist. Tell him of the "unsympathetic" treatment you receive from your family. I am shocked that your mother can be so unfeeling and so uneducated about mental problems. Everyone gets depressed, now and then. Some are manic depressive, which is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Are you on Prosac or Lithium? Look into it. Also, just from me to you, suicide is never an answer, it's a cop out. Dieing is not hard, it's living that's hard. I don't know the reasons behind your depressions so I'm only grasping at straws, here, but I would suggest that you get out of the house some. When you associate with people, don't discuss your issues. If they ask you what you do for a living, just reply, "sorry, I don't talk shop". But as I said before, talk to your therapist. I know there is a doctor/patient confidentiality, but maybe he can give your mom and your sister some insight. Now, on the lighter side (and I mean this as a joke, so smile) but if you kill yourself, I swear to God, I'll never speak to you again! Now go out there and have a wonderful New Year. You need it.
Have you told your therapist what you are experiencing? If not, you need to. You aren't safe in a situation like that and there are options out there that your therapist may know about.
Your mother and sister need to get an education about clinical depression. It's NOT a character flaw and you haven't "chosen" to feel this way. Only a masochist CHOOSES to feel pain and the depressed are not in that category. Sounds like they need a good chewing out from your dr or therapist.
Telling you negative garbage will not help you get better or teach you a lesson. I would sure give them a piece of my mind!
keep a journal and when you shut down write in it and give it to the psychiatrist or therapist and they can help you with the problems...
tell your parents that its there choice to care...
and tell them you have an illness depression and its a chemical imbalance..
do you take medicine... like what kind..?
because if your having suicidal thoughts you have to see the psychiatrist and tell them right a way.. or even call!
There is no excuse for this kind of behavior on their behalf. Its disgusting and it needs to stop. If they wont stop you only have a few choices. Accept it and take it. Dont accept it and leave. Accept it, and just dont ever mention it to them or talk to them about your issues...EVER. Find a chatroom online or a local support group.
If you are underage you need to call your county DSS and report that you are mentally ill and being verbally and mentally abused by your legal guardians. They will be able to provide you with housing, medicaid and food stamps.
Then you can get on with your life. You cannot move forward in therapy while living in these conditions because ,unless you are very persistent, you will continue to lose the gains youve made in therapy.
It may seem like a lot to sacrifice, but in the end it may be worth it. You have to get out of that situation ASAP and into a nurturing, stable enviroment.
At the very least you can commit yourself to a recovery program. All you have to do is walk into the front desk and tell them you are suicidal. Or find a psychistrist or therapist you are working with to admit you.
They will admit you, your insurance will pay for it and you'll have three meals a day, maid service, laundry service and be able to focus on your healing. You will be away from the horrid circumstance your in and surrounded by loving caring people. If you sign yourself in, you can leave at anytime, they cannot keep you there against your will, and you wont be locked in your room, no fear. Maybe then take advantage of the county's services and in addition, file for disability or look for a part time job in addition to the Countys social services.
Your mom doesn't seem very understanding. Maybe she needs to read a few books on the subject so she can be better educated. You might print some things off the net about Clinical Depression and leave it on a table or something. Who knows she might even read it and learn something.
It sounds like your mother and sister need to get counseling for them selves. mental illness is not a choice and you really need to talk with your therapist about how your family treats you and the things they say, this is a very unhealthy situation especially if you already are clinically depressed. WOW! Really talk to your doctor. You don't have any friends you could stay with for a while to get away from those that are seeming to bring you down even more.
Your mom is abusing you to the point that it is probably actually a criminal offense.
There are places for abused women to go to live like shelters. the abuser doesn't have to be a husband; in your case it's your mom and sister.
You say getting away isn't an option, but it's the ONLY option if you are going to ever heal.
Good luck to you. I hope you can begin to recover soon.
I have experienced a lot of this. I know your family is just trying to help, but they don't really understand and realize the things they are saying are very hurtful and could cause serious consequences. Please see your therapist now and tell them all of this. Make a copy of what you told us and everything else that has happened and take it with you, so you won't forget anything. Depression can be serious, are you on medicines, they can add to them or increase the dosage or change them to get you better effects, ask them about that too. There is more I would like to say but I will stop here. When your family starts this go to your room or outside and get away from them for the time.=====
ask your therapist if there are any residential homes where you can stay while you are undergoing therapy, or if he (or she) has any suggestions to make about coping with your indifferent family
your therapist should be informed about the way your family is undermining your state of mental health
I suffered bad depression in H.S. and think back and wonder why my parents didn't do anything. But maybe because that was years ago and we didn't have the meds then. It's hard cause they can't see the problem, if you were to lose the use of your arm or leg I bet they would not be treating you this way, yet depression can cripple a person too.
Maybe if your mom went to a doctor's appt. with you and the doctor explained it to her she would treat you differently. I can remember times feeling very depressed and one day when I was riding in the car with a friend. He said "look what a beautiful day it is". Looking out I could see it was a bright sunny day but felt very depressed, I'm sure my friend did not understand why I was feeling this way.
Ask you family this question " how would you feel if everyday you woke up and it was a dark rainy day?" Well that's what it's like to feel depressed.