Repressed sexual Memory?!
Question: I don't know why, and it's not as if i'm trying to make it happen, but the other day i recaled something that seemed so real. I had a memory just all of a sudden that my aunt molested me as a child. As a couple of days pass it becomes even more vivid. I'm scarred because i belive she is molesting my neice now. I'm 23 now, and the memory i recall is one from at least 3 or 4. I know it might seem strange, but my memory can even stretch back to at least one or two. Please help me! What should i do? I have been abused before, but i knew these people. This is the first time anything like this has ever come to mind. I know that no one will belive me, but i need to know for myself because it would help to put a lot of things that i remember about my child hood and about me as an adult in perspective. I trying to move with my life now, I haven't recalled any old data from my childhood on purpose. At times things may just pop up in my mind, but it's only temporary i have moved on, or am trying.
Answers: I don't know why, and it's not as if i'm trying to make it happen, but the other day i recaled something that seemed so real. I had a memory just all of a sudden that my aunt molested me as a child. As a couple of days pass it becomes even more vivid. I'm scarred because i belive she is molesting my neice now. I'm 23 now, and the memory i recall is one from at least 3 or 4. I know it might seem strange, but my memory can even stretch back to at least one or two. Please help me! What should i do? I have been abused before, but i knew these people. This is the first time anything like this has ever come to mind. I know that no one will belive me, but i need to know for myself because it would help to put a lot of things that i remember about my child hood and about me as an adult in perspective. I trying to move with my life now, I haven't recalled any old data from my childhood on purpose. At times things may just pop up in my mind, but it's only temporary i have moved on, or am trying.
Wow, I am so sorry you're going through this. You need to deal with your own feelings and memories but your little niece is the immediate concern. Maybe it is something you've noticed there that has either triggered the memory - -or possibly has made you imagine it....though if you're right about the present abuse, chances are that it's not the first time.
I am putting some links about recognizing signs of child sexual abuse and reporting. If you have some definite signs you have noticed, even if you do not have proof, you can report it to the cops or child protective services and they will have to investigate.
If you don't want to call the police, first talk to someone from a group that fights child abuse. The last link on there has links to a few regional Child Advocacy Centers where you could call and discuss your suspicions...
Some of my memories go back to age 1 or 2 so I know it is possible. Especially considering that you DO remember other early events, and you remember having being abused by someone else, I would think you probably would have also remembered all along SOMETHING about your aunt molesting you even if it were something you did not really understand. That doesnt mean i think it's impossible for you to have forgotten something that happened. Have you always felt uncomfortable about her hugging you or even touching at all? I would think that reaction might linger even if the specific memory did not.
Find help for yourself but avoid a psychologist who seems to be trying to encourage you to remember more while giving "suggestions" for what you might remember, or telling you to read books that give you suggestions. Sometimes people have been accused based on memories that the accuser later realized were not real.
But if your aunt is a sexual predator, chances are she has abused multiple people.. If there are other family members who were also around her as a kid, you might ask them. Perhaps they were molested but have never told it, or they may have always had a "strange" memory about her. If you don't feel like naming names, you could ask "did any person in the family ever try to touch you sexually?" or "Did any woman in the family...?" Sometimes people never tell until someone who was another victim asks them. (that is what happened to me.)
Take care of yourself and be a protector for your lil niece.
You can't find help here, you need a professional to help you with that.
Confront your aunt about it and tell her to stop doing it.
it depends what you want to do. you could confront her about it, like the person above me said, or try to go to the police
I would worry about getting your neice protected from her. You can call child protective services and they cannot say who refered them. They can figure it out for themselves. They will too. You shoulnd't worry about the outcome, or questions. If she did it to you, you have a logical reason to worry, and should stand up for yourself if anyone tried to tell you otherwise. Then take care of yourself too. She needs to be confronted. That is not ok. A confrontation is enough to wake someone up really fast, and maybe a good way for you to let it go.
If you strongly suspect that she is molesting your niece,...then if you can prove that go to the police, and don't allow this to continue....if in fact this is true, you will have some type of closure in this issue, if you can protect your niece from this kind of abuse...Pray on this to God, through Jesus,...to forgive her, but to give you the strength to stop her...God Bless
Sometimes in life our memories shut down as a form of self protection and then as we get older and wiser and more able to deal with things we find our memories start to return. But keep in mind that what we experienced as a child we remember from a child's point of view which is why it can be difficult to describe sexual abuse - because as a young child we think of it as something strange and wrong - not something sexual.
I would recommend you talk this through with a counsellor who will have the skills to work through these memories with you.
Go see a therapist to discuss these events and find out what is your next step.
Since memories from that young an age are never very reliable, you won't be able to do much of anything about whether or not you were molested by her then. it is important for your emotional and mental health not to dwell on these memories. When they occur, just treat them as temporary thoughts, let them happen, but then stop and go on to deal with your current life.
If you believe she is molesting your niece though, you need to gather proof, keep records and call the child protective services in your community. You do not have to involve yourself emotionally and damage your own mind further. It is their job to handle problems like this. Fill your own life with better things.
I was molested by several people as a child and I did repress some of them. I knew that I had been molested by one of my brothers and the illegal aliens that my dad hired to work on our ranch. In therapy it came out that I had been molested by my grandfather on my mother's side and by a priest while attending catholic school. If I were you I would see a therapist about your repressed memories and get some sort of intervention going for your neice. She needs to be protected from your aunt because I believe that you are having memories of your past. Good Luck.