Can anyone explain why I act and think this way?!
Question: I am 18 years old, and all of this started when I was 16. I have been in the psych ward various times. I have extreme bouts of depression, where I usually overdose on about 15 - 500mg Tylenol. Then, I get really angry and whatnot. I begin not to care about life, and laugh and everything people say. I even laugh at the people who try and help me. I act really crazy, and say things to defend myself, even when I know I am 100% wrong. I tell these people my plans to overdose and try and kill myself. They are worried, but at the same time, they are really mad that I take their support and throw it away. Then, in a few days, I will be fine and act like nothing is wrong and whatnot. I take Zoloft and Seroquel. I have been taking this, and still are having bouts of depression and whatnot. After I am fine for a while, I will slip back and revert to the same way I was before. I later regret what I have done, and I feel sorry, but it is too late...
Answers: I am 18 years old, and all of this started when I was 16. I have been in the psych ward various times. I have extreme bouts of depression, where I usually overdose on about 15 - 500mg Tylenol. Then, I get really angry and whatnot. I begin not to care about life, and laugh and everything people say. I even laugh at the people who try and help me. I act really crazy, and say things to defend myself, even when I know I am 100% wrong. I tell these people my plans to overdose and try and kill myself. They are worried, but at the same time, they are really mad that I take their support and throw it away. Then, in a few days, I will be fine and act like nothing is wrong and whatnot. I take Zoloft and Seroquel. I have been taking this, and still are having bouts of depression and whatnot. After I am fine for a while, I will slip back and revert to the same way I was before. I later regret what I have done, and I feel sorry, but it is too late...
I can be wrong but i think you are describing Bipolar depression which is the extremes of emotions... as the name suggests 2 emotions coupled with hyperactive behavior. I think you should consider revising your medication if what you are currently taking is not working. However the underlying cause of the emotions is what you should consider. Your feelings and past hurt that you haven't dealt with but is a constant struggle each day. You should know that we all face these extremes of emotions each day but it is how you handle this on a daily basis that makes the difference. remember we are all work in progress and each day is a new opportunity to make things better. Do not allow yourself to fall in for the self fulfilling prophecy which is basically being aware of one's short comings and internalising it to make it real i.e. amplifying your shortcomings because you internal what ppl say and actually believe it... for example a parent telling a child he/ she will fail their exams and the child then starts to believe that and although they had the capacity to pass they internalised the concept and started to believe they are not capable. So instead i say prove the world wrong and embrace your shortcoming take the necessary measures (if needed ask to try another medication) and face the world smiling my dear because we all got to do it. My personal credo (i use it to laugh when the world gets me down) I love life but life doesn't love me sometimes.... remember each day is a new beginning to laugh at yourself and face it every single day,
You need a change. Something to look forward to. Your crying for help but you dont know the help that you want. You want to be happy. Your trying to prove a point, but what is the point you are trying to prove? You dont know. You just want help. Ive been there..it will pass and you will get your life together, you will find what makes you happy. One day at a time..im sure you can pick one small thing that happened today that was good. Always look on the positive side no matter how hard it is and things will get better.
I think you have been prescribed the wrong medication. I could be wrong though... but it sounds like you might be bipolar?