Help with anger management issues?!
Question: Im 26 with a girlfriend(like a wife to me) and a daughter. When i was younger i had a tempur but it waned once i got out of school, but recently it seems to have rekindled. I have never hurt my gf but when things go down its so fast i dont even understand whats just happened and i look at the destruction and feel horrible about what ive done. but then a week later it happens again. i could even try to coach myself the day of and one little thing will jus set it off. Today i practically put my foot through the oven(which i know cost money) and broke a baby walker(which is the stupidest thing ive ever done). and then immediately broke down crying. I try to think of excuses but none are good enough for me and i jus blame myself totally. sometimes i feel it would be better they leave. I dont think i could hurt them but it has to be very scary to have to witness. not sure what my question is, maybe more of a confession(hopefully it will help). experiences, advice, or flaming is welcome.
Answers: Im 26 with a girlfriend(like a wife to me) and a daughter. When i was younger i had a tempur but it waned once i got out of school, but recently it seems to have rekindled. I have never hurt my gf but when things go down its so fast i dont even understand whats just happened and i look at the destruction and feel horrible about what ive done. but then a week later it happens again. i could even try to coach myself the day of and one little thing will jus set it off. Today i practically put my foot through the oven(which i know cost money) and broke a baby walker(which is the stupidest thing ive ever done). and then immediately broke down crying. I try to think of excuses but none are good enough for me and i jus blame myself totally. sometimes i feel it would be better they leave. I dont think i could hurt them but it has to be very scary to have to witness. not sure what my question is, maybe more of a confession(hopefully it will help). experiences, advice, or flaming is welcome.
I can understand. Life is stressful enough without kids, the wife/GF, bills, work, etc... It sounds like you have poor coping mechanisms and don't know how to vent in a non threatenning way.
It sounds cliche but have you spoken about this to your girlfriend. You have taken the first step, you have admitted you have a problem. Now you need to find the ammunition (source of frustration/stress), the trigger (what makes you crack) and the target (the person who is on the recieving end).
I don't know where you are but in Australia there are many resources available: Mens helpline, domestic violence helpline etc... Also many counseling services such as Relationships Australia.
The physical objects are just that objects and can be replaced, but realise that you are probably scaring the **** out of your daughter and girlfriend. Things will only progress into full blown domestic violence unless YOU make the changes but this does not mean you have to do it all alone.
Good luck,
Chris- Registered Nurse & Counseller
See anger management, in section 4, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris
There must be some tension, might be economic problem behind this anger. Try to do some simple things when you get angry:
1: if you are standing, sit down
2: if you are sitting, lay down
3: Drink a glass of cool water
4: Try not to speak anything
if u had not expressed ur feelings here, chances were that your problem could worsen. but u are so lucky that once u did it, there are so many people to guide u and share ur feelings. be happy my friend continue to remove ur negative elements, and everything will be fine.
There are classes offered in anger managment. In fact here in California, anyone found guilty of spousal abuse gets sent to these classes. Anyone can take one of these classes. Check the yellow pages. They really help a lot.