How to deal with sexual abuse?!
Question: I am a 16 and was sexually abused in my life by a male and a female. I am feeling a mixture of emotions that are starting to hinder my life. I am going to therapy after years of staying silent. The one that bothers me the most is the female abusing me when I was younger I get nightmares, freak out when I see gay people recently ( and that is not like me), and thinking because of that experiance it makes me gay or something. I have been a little obssessive over that and I have never ever seen myself with being with a woman and wanting to be with a woman i still look at men the same and feel like I am completely in love with this one boy in my life. I even think about myself being with men sexually in my head all the time. There is also a significant distrust toward men because my father abandoned me when I was young and I havent gotten over it. I know the person that I am and want to be, but I cant keep out conflicting ideas out of my head. Someone please help I can not live this way.
Answers: I am a 16 and was sexually abused in my life by a male and a female. I am feeling a mixture of emotions that are starting to hinder my life. I am going to therapy after years of staying silent. The one that bothers me the most is the female abusing me when I was younger I get nightmares, freak out when I see gay people recently ( and that is not like me), and thinking because of that experiance it makes me gay or something. I have been a little obssessive over that and I have never ever seen myself with being with a woman and wanting to be with a woman i still look at men the same and feel like I am completely in love with this one boy in my life. I even think about myself being with men sexually in my head all the time. There is also a significant distrust toward men because my father abandoned me when I was young and I havent gotten over it. I know the person that I am and want to be, but I cant keep out conflicting ideas out of my head. Someone please help I can not live this way.
i really feel for you. you are so brave and its not uncommon. hundreds suffer in the same way. you don't need to prove your sexuality to anyone, especially not yourself. therapy will definitely help. its time to move on and be positive about your life. you obviously have a great boyfriend. you are lucky to have him. in time you will learn to trust men again but for now just focus on you and no one else. hope you feel better soon. good luck for the future
Forgive the woman because more men do this so stay away from them
i myself have had like problems in my life. i have been thru individual counseling, however i now attend weekly couseling which really helps me get my head around the whole situation and deal with it on a weekly basis. this is something you will never get over but you can live a normal life if you deal with you feelings in a constructive manor and not burry them
There are a few MAJOR steps, that you have to take, and you have already made one.
1) Realize you were a victim, and did not instigate OR deserve any abuse from a male or female.
2) Get therapy, it may take many years to work thru the various stages of this abuse, but do NOT stop searching out the answers...let a trained specialist help you heal.
3) REALIZE, everyday factors (situations) are bound to trigger many feelings within you. And that is a natural thing..... your emotions have to run their course, to make it possible for you to heal.
4) If you know who the people are....take charge of the situation. Make yourself sit down and write each of them a letter, and express all of your emotions, and all of you have towards them, for what they did. Make sure you address every emotion, and thought you can muster, and let them know what their greed and sick abuse has done to you, to this point.
In the closing comments of the letter.... TELL them.... You will win....you are a better person, and even though they violated and abused you in unspeakable terms, you will overcome it, and you will survive.
Put the letters in envelopes....... do not seal them.... BUT then use them as your own mental health tool, when you start feeling low. Read, reread, and reread the letters for the rest of your life, if necessary. But use the letters to help yourself...
and when you are healed....... Mail the letters to the people, and to their families, and let them know you won.
Good Luck..........
and if you need to chat, email me.........