My sister was raped.....? HELP?!
Question: my sister was raped about a month ago. she's fourteen. somehow, half the school found out about it. so she has to deal with a bunch of stupid comments about sex from some really immature people and go to counceling. she hates hates hates counceling and she's really tired of people saying things like "the counceling will be worth it" and "get over it and act how you used to". i have to go to counceling too because i was there when she was raped and i'm doing better, but my sister is not doing so great and doesnt think the counceling is worth it. she was diagnosed with depresssion, high blood pressure, and an STD. what should i tell her to make her feel better?
Answers: my sister was raped about a month ago. she's fourteen. somehow, half the school found out about it. so she has to deal with a bunch of stupid comments about sex from some really immature people and go to counceling. she hates hates hates counceling and she's really tired of people saying things like "the counceling will be worth it" and "get over it and act how you used to". i have to go to counceling too because i was there when she was raped and i'm doing better, but my sister is not doing so great and doesnt think the counceling is worth it. she was diagnosed with depresssion, high blood pressure, and an STD. what should i tell her to make her feel better?
Well I am so sorry that your sister got violated in the most disgusting, vile manner and that you had to be there as well. She may not want to get the counseling just yet since it's probably extremely difficult to talk about, however, it can really help with the trauma of such an event. Perhaps you can offer to go with her to her first counseling appointment to hold her hand, if literally. What a devastating issue to have to deal with in addition to dealing with the teenage years as it is. I'll look up some websites that may be helpful. Please take good care and if either of you feel like hurting yourselves or others, please tell your parents. 1-800-SUICIDE
I'm wondering if she should talk with your parents about taking a medical leave from school and to even heal from the std (with perhaps an antibiotic?). That may be an option to perhaps help the rumors settle down at her school too.
A website for those who have been sexually assaulted: http://www.rainn.org
Tell her to keep going and be strong i had to friends that were sexualy assualted and it was tuff for them but they got through it. just keep holding strong.
she should be seeing a doc about this.
also there are hotlines for raped victims.
im sorry to hear this.
she may feel like the counselors are full of it. and maybe it would be best for her to seek help from the God almighty ! talk to him in prayer and ask him to help both of you through this! Have Faith and all things are possible.
That is horrible for your sister. The people at your school sound like a** holes. If that were my cousin (who might as well be my sister) got raped and people were teasing her about it, I'd probably kick some a**. Just be there for your sister and make sure she knows that your there. If she doens't feel comfortable with her counsellor then she should find a new one, one who makes her feel comfortable. I'm very sorry that she was sexually abused but just give her time and peace and be there for her when she needs to cry or vent or yell. Don't force her to talk about it, listen if she wants to talk though.
First of all, your sister will never be the same person that she was before the rape. Tell people that. We are a culmination of our life experiences both good and bad. Get it into your head and her's too.
Secondly, keep going to counseling. Persevere. It will be worth it. Actually, I would add to you to go to websites that are supportive of people who have been the victims of rape and violence.
I would not go to a message board or a chat room. You do not know if those people are really victims or if they are pervs trying to get a thrill.
Find a support group if you can. I don't think going to counseling is enough.
Both of you need to start journals where you can write about your feelings. I don't mean a blog that everyone can read it on line or anything on-line. Physically write out your feelings in a spiral notebook.
Cry.
Walk to get sunshine and exercise to fight the depression. Most rape vicitims will end up gaining about 1000 pounds due to depression and bad eating. The exercise is a different and healthier way of dealing with the depression and she may be able to avoid the weight gain.
Take your meds. Make her take her meds the way she is supposed to. High blood pressure is a dangerous condition at any age. So is depression.
Keep at it. I was raped and it was a hard year afterward but I did it. Even now the date that I was raped is a hard day to deal with and it was a hard reality to deal with for about 5 years but I got through it.
Ignore the ignoramuses..
I was a rape victim and these things helped me get through.
i agree with your sister
i think councellors are patronising and nosey
i think the best thing you can do is just make sure your there for her 24/7 and be the best sister you could be
that was probably rubbish advice but i think its all you can do
:):):)
hope she feeels better soon
xxxxxxx
I am a psychiatric nurse...I deal with other traumatized people, but rarely with rape victims (as I am male). But the principles are the same.
Be understanding. Let her talk when she needs to. Don't force her to talk. Don't get mad if she flips out, seems unreasonable, cries, etc...these are all part of the healing process. Just be there for her without making it worse.
You might tell people, "Please don't say that...it doesn't help, and might upset her more". Try to understand that some people are trying to do the right thing, but have no idea what the right thing to do is.
Depression seems like the reason and hurts lots of people everyday. Here is some information about the topic:
Major Depressive Disorder (Depression) is not just a temporary mood, and it's not a sign of personal weakness. Depression is a serious medical condition with a variety of symptoms. Emotional symptoms can include sadness, loss of interest in things you once enjoyed, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, restlessness, and trouble concentrating or making decisions. Physical symptoms can include fatigue, vague aches and pains, headaches, and changes in weight or sleep patterns. For some, depression can include thoughts of death or suicide.
There are many theories about the cause of depression. One of the most commonly accepted theories suggests that two naturally occurring chemicals, serotonin and norepinephrine, are believed to affect core mood and pain symptoms of depression.
These chemical messengers aid communication between many areas of the brain and spinal cord that affect emotional aspects of a person's nature. They are also important in "controlling the volume" of messages about pain between the body and the brain.
If these chemicals are out of balance, the effect can be felt in both the brain and body. You can feel both the emotional and physical symptoms of depression.
Where Does Depression Hurt?
Anywhere and everywhere: at home, at work, or with friends.
Someone with depression might think or say any of the following:
"I feel sad all the time."
"I just don't feel like myself."
"I don't enjoy being with my friends or doing any of the things I usually love to do."
"I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately."
"I keep having aches and pains, and I don't know why."
"Sometimes I feel like my life is not worth living anymore."
Research suggests that about two-thirds of people diagnosed with depression talk to their family doctors first about physical symptoms.
Seek Help
Many people suffer in silence while depression slowly eats away at their quality of life. Some are ashamed or afraid to seek help; others try to downplay the severity of their symptoms. It's important to remember that depression isn't something that's "all in your head."
Learn about symptoms and causes of depression.
Take Suicidal Thoughts Seriously
Thoughts about death or suicide are common in depression, and it's important to take such thoughts seriously. If you feel like giving up or as if you might hurt yourself, get help immediately:
Call your doctor
Go to the emergency room
Call 911
Call the national suicide prevention hotline, 1-800-SUICIDE [1-800-784-2433]
Family History May Be Important
People with a family history of depression may be more likely to get the disease, but anyone can become depressed. Sometimes the triggers are external