I can't find a job because I have no people skills. How can I get passed thi!
Question: Here is the deal. I'm a nice guy, but I'm insecure. I'm not good with conversations or telling stories. I wish I was charismatic, but I'm not. I'm highly intelligent and I have a lot of skills. I'm an expert with almost all Microsoft computer software and I learn very quickly, but that doesn't seem to matter. Whenever I go to an interview, I give off a very bad persona even though I dress sharp. I'm in shape, but honesty, my personality sucks. I go through a lot of anxiety because of this. I guess what I'm asking is HOW CAN I GET PAST THIS? It makes every aspect of my life a living hell. I can even tell that my own family members think I'm a bore. The worst part of this situation is that I'm becoming somewhat bitter over my circumstances. Uhhh, I'm so irritated at myself. Can anyone offer some advice? I know that alot of people have it so much worse than I do, but I really want to make a difference this year. Not just for myself, but for other people as well.
Answers: Here is the deal. I'm a nice guy, but I'm insecure. I'm not good with conversations or telling stories. I wish I was charismatic, but I'm not. I'm highly intelligent and I have a lot of skills. I'm an expert with almost all Microsoft computer software and I learn very quickly, but that doesn't seem to matter. Whenever I go to an interview, I give off a very bad persona even though I dress sharp. I'm in shape, but honesty, my personality sucks. I go through a lot of anxiety because of this. I guess what I'm asking is HOW CAN I GET PAST THIS? It makes every aspect of my life a living hell. I can even tell that my own family members think I'm a bore. The worst part of this situation is that I'm becoming somewhat bitter over my circumstances. Uhhh, I'm so irritated at myself. Can anyone offer some advice? I know that alot of people have it so much worse than I do, but I really want to make a difference this year. Not just for myself, but for other people as well.
Sounds like you have social phobia, or at least an anxiety disorder. I suggest seeing a therapist and possibly a psychiatrist for some anti-anxiety meds. Taking a class in public speaking is a great way to loosen yourself up for job interviews. You can also practise job interviews at home in front of a mirror or a video camera, or even hire a coach. Lots of help is available in this regard. The state of Massachusetts, for example, will give free job counseling to anyone regardless of their level of intelligence.
You need to put yourself into situations that are beyond your comfort zone.
There are a couple books that might help get you started:
http://www.amazon.com/Make-People-Like-S...
and
http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-In...
How about this? When you're at the store, try to come up to people and strike up conversations with them. Force yourself to try talking to people. I have the same problem and so do my siblings, but we try to "break" the barrier by talking first. It will be hard at first, but you'll get used to it.
Also, since you have great computer skills, how about tutoring people? Maybe place an ad in the newspaper and say that you'll tutor people for an X amount of money. That way you'll get used to talking to people and also get paid. I wish you the best of luck and don't be afraid to talk with others.
Try to act the part just for the interview. I know this sounds silly but talk to yourself in the mirror and try and see what type of impression you're giving off. Sometimes it's hard to see this for ourselves so maybe ask a good friend who you're not embarassed around to help you out for this part. Do like a mach-interview and have them give you constructive critisim afterwards. It's good you like computers because there are several job positons where public contact is minimal such as data entry, filing, etc. You have already made the first and most important step and that was the decision to change. So good for you. Since you are a smart guy be creative and come up with some ways to help you give off a better first impression. After you are hired I'm sure they'd keep you if you did good work. Also, I am sure there are self-help guides at book stores that would probably be more helpful than you think.
Good luck to you & keep a positive attitude
start at you local unemployment agency...they may have some things for you..otherwise try therapy session...lots of places...try schools