Whats wrong with my mom?!
Question: I'm 14 years old and I used to think this was suppose to be how life is and this is what all moms do. My mom yells for stupid reasons like on christmas eve she yelled at my aunt because she drop a little bit of of food on the floor when getting it. She yelled at a lot of people. She always tells us (her kids) about her job and the people at it and contantly conplains about it. She talks about a lot of people and says how much she hates them. I think she basically hate everyone. About 3 years ago I got in a little fight with a friend. Everytime my mom saw her she always said things to her and told her things i didn't say. She was my best friend. Now within a year she's been telling me she hates me. At first I thought that was normal too. After a while of hearing that I found out she wasn't normal and other kids life's weren't like this. I have a lot of stuff i have a laptop in my room, a cell phone and an ipod. So I defintly wouldn't say I don't get things & she's also very nice in
Answers: I'm 14 years old and I used to think this was suppose to be how life is and this is what all moms do. My mom yells for stupid reasons like on christmas eve she yelled at my aunt because she drop a little bit of of food on the floor when getting it. She yelled at a lot of people. She always tells us (her kids) about her job and the people at it and contantly conplains about it. She talks about a lot of people and says how much she hates them. I think she basically hate everyone. About 3 years ago I got in a little fight with a friend. Everytime my mom saw her she always said things to her and told her things i didn't say. She was my best friend. Now within a year she's been telling me she hates me. At first I thought that was normal too. After a while of hearing that I found out she wasn't normal and other kids life's weren't like this. I have a lot of stuff i have a laptop in my room, a cell phone and an ipod. So I defintly wouldn't say I don't get things & she's also very nice in
I kind of have the same issues with my mom. Sounds alot alike. I understand that you can't just tell her about how you feel because she would go ballistic about it, right? I am 23 and moved out to live with my dad at 16 because my mom just changed all of a sudden exactly like you said. I learned to just ignore her tantrums and move on with my life. Now that I live on my own it is alot better bc i just talk to her once a week on the phone. My dad told me that she probably has some mental problems and think of it like a disease, therefore have some compassion and understanding of why she acts like she does.
i think she needs help.
Take her to a Doctor a.s.a.p! before things get worst!
She sounds like a good mom, as you say you have a laptop, cell phone and an ipod.
Maybe its just a temper issue. Try mentioning to her that she should see her Doc. You dont have to put up with this.
Good Luck
And happy new year!
xo
it sounds like your mother has a high stress level that might be leading to clinical depression.
Try talking to her about it in a mature way.
she will come around when she is ready and only when she is ready.
She may have bi polar disorder. It is a disease in the brain which cause people's moods to drastically change.
Im 19 and my mom still insists on making me miserable. My father and her were hooked on drugs. I had to take care of my brother with the help of other family members since I was 15. My mother makes up rumors and spreads them about the family....I think its to make herself feel better. Some mothers are just psycho.
sounds like mom has a lot of frustration and disappointment in her life and no coping skills to deal with those issues. She would likely benefit from cognitive behavioral therapy, what you might do is go to a local mental health center and ask them for brochures about anger management and leave them where your mom will find them.
Often when people treat others like this it is because they are miserable with themselves and take it out on everybody and everything around them.
She could have a lot of things that she doesn't even realize making her feel like this. For example, she could have a poor diet, if she doesn't work she could be bored and feeling unproductive and she could be holding on to a lot of past hurts.
Could your mom be suffering from depression? Is she controlling? Where is your dad in all of this? Is he around? If he's not then maybe she is under a lot of stress and pressure?
my mom is sorta like that too! she always complains and says people she hates! its really annoying! and i got in a fight with a friend too and my mom is always trying to do sometinhg about it.
Since you do not seem materially deprived at least, one can see that your mom cares about you, so that isn't an issue. Your mom sounds like a very unhappy person, either depressed, stressed-out, or with issues from her own childhood.
In essence, the one person she really hates is HERSELF, which is taken out on the world. There are also mental & emotional illnesses which cause this type of behavior. I realize that knowing this does not help you in the short run, if you have to live with a yelling, abusive mom. I'm not sure what to advise, outside of encouraging her to get some medical or psychiatric help - which would just get you yelled at even more.
Is she a single mom.....taking care of a family by herself? If that's the case that might have something to do with. Now that doesn't give her an excuse to be rude and obnoxious to people, just gives a little more understanding. I know the holidays adds allot of stress on people. When she gets that way just go in your room and out of her way. Obviously by your question you know that's not the right way that people should treat others.....unfortunately you cant use your mom as a role model on how to be...BUT do know your mom loves you, sometimes moms, including me, makes mistakes....lots of mistakes, we're only human. Just love your mom and when she gets anxious and starts yell.....see if you can just over look that, shower her with kind words maybe help her with what she's doing, cooking, cleaning or whatever, maybe make her a cup of coffee or tea. If that just doesn't help then just go to room, don't say anything sarcastic or mean and pray that she settles down. Mom just may be working too hard if she is so unhappy with her job maybe talk to her and encourage her to look for another job.
I have a mother like this too. I am 28 years old now and have learned a lot about her. My mom is extremely unhappy with life and can not deal with the happiness of others. I used to get angry over this but have realized it is a sickness. Life sometimes takes a toll on us and especially when life didn't turn out the way we intended it to be. The best thing for you to do is appreciate the good things about your mom and when she does get a little out of hand with her temper you should remind her ver nicely that maybe there is another way to deal with that situation. Or, if you do not want to seem intrusive you could always relieve your mom of the duty and tell her to take a break and you will handle it. This will help her to calm down but also show that you are growing into a responsible young woman and earn you more rights in the home. Try to have fun with your mom as much as possible. During the holidays, for instance, bring in the spirit by reliving a memory you all enjoyed. Your mom is just busy and doesn't handle all of lifes pressure like an expert, which adults seldom do. As far as your fight with your friend, in the future you should try to handle it yourself without the assistance of your mother. You seem like a very bright young lady as you recognize the wrongs in your family. If you can handle taking on pressures of the family then you can handle the pressure of working out a tiff between girls at school. Remember that most arguments start because of miscommunication or a misunderstanding. Always try to talk it out with the other party before involving your mother.
hmm, maybe school counseling? wait no... they only made me feel stupid.
I definitely would not tell her to see a doctor she is your mother, and that would just hurt coming from her children. Everyone has their own little problems, even your friends mom. People handle stress differently, your mom has a lot to take care of just like any other mom. She just handles it differently by venting on everyone. You don't have to be this way. Your noticing that your acting a way you don't want which is the first step to changing it. What your mom is doing is not a very good way of handling stress, but she is your mom and she is just doing the best she can. As long as your well and have a roof over your head you should support her and treat her how you want to be treated. I think she could possibly learn from you also, it wouldn't make sense for her to act unfairly when you act fair. I wish there could be a quick fix to these types of situations, but unfortunately its a learning process which takes time.....
Chin up!
Hard to be sure. An explosive temper is a symptom of everything from having poor self control to bipolar disorder, to a blood sugar imbalance, and on and on and on.
She might need antidepressants, she might just need a way to relax herself like a weekly massage or something.
The sad thing is, at 14 there's not a lot you can do to help I'm afraid. If she wants help, she'll have to ask for t, and get it from the adults around her.
The important think is not to let it mess YOU up, OK?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progressive...
The link above has a VERY good stress relieving exercise in it. If I were you, I'd do it every day. If your mom asks, teach it to her, it might be all she needs. But stay focused on how YOU feel.
The hardest lesson I learned at your age is "I can't fix my f-ed up family." The people here will help you stay on track yourself as best we can though.
She is probably tired and frustrated of her life.....maybe you should ask to massage her temples once in a while...she'll get away from the stress sooner or later. If your dad is not around maybe she is suffering from that. Hook her up with a MAN!!!!!!!
well i think she-s jut stressed really really bad. tell her you love her. try to talk to her. tell her what she is doin wrong. if a fight starts try to sta away from her. but keep an eye on her jus in case she does something she will regret. not saying that she is goin to do something, but iv had a aunt get into a fight with her sister an was so mad at her self she took her own life.