Would I get on your nerves or would you think negatively of me?!


Question: I've been naturally shy and soft-spoken my entire life and did not start dating until my early 20's. I'm trying to enter the dating scene (I'm not a bar/club person but have tried the internet sites) but I feel so awkward, clueless and naive when it's time for a date. I don't know the rules to dating.

So, I've been asking a few friends for advice, sometimes thru an email or text. Basically, I'm not sure what to do or how to read guys or how to play the dating game. So I'll ask things about how to tell if they're interested or not and stuff like that. If you were my friends, would it get on your nerves if I asked you for advice and I'm almost 27? Would you think badly of me? I'm worried about getting on their nerves so I'm not sure if I should ask for advice or not. Sometimes I'm even shy and soft-spoken with my friends too.


Answers: I've been naturally shy and soft-spoken my entire life and did not start dating until my early 20's. I'm trying to enter the dating scene (I'm not a bar/club person but have tried the internet sites) but I feel so awkward, clueless and naive when it's time for a date. I don't know the rules to dating.

So, I've been asking a few friends for advice, sometimes thru an email or text. Basically, I'm not sure what to do or how to read guys or how to play the dating game. So I'll ask things about how to tell if they're interested or not and stuff like that. If you were my friends, would it get on your nerves if I asked you for advice and I'm almost 27? Would you think badly of me? I'm worried about getting on their nerves so I'm not sure if I should ask for advice or not. Sometimes I'm even shy and soft-spoken with my friends too.

No, you would not be getting on my nerves. If you think that you are, it might be because you are compassionate and sometimes over worry about what others might think of you. I will say one very important thing. You appear to be naive about men and dating. (naive is not a bad thing) So go slow and really get to know people before you fall in love. Some men will prey on people who are naive. So, keep that in mind. Keep in touch and take care.
Marty

If you think you're annoying them, you probably are. There are sooo many websites where you can learn how to read guys, flirt, get a date, etc. Google "attract men" or "flirting" or something like that and you'll get tons of helpful advice.

Practice telling the truth in every thing you do. You have to live for you and not for what others think. You will never please anyone that way. If you work on yourself and learn how to be ok with who you are then you will attract like people to you. Blessings

All you have to do is look decent,and a desperate guy w/out standards will go out with you,i've seen guys who could have done better with there looks settle for fat girls.I'm telling you some guys will screw anything with a pulse,for they have no decency,and its disgusting.

True friends would help you out, and not find you annoying. If they do, find better friends.

When you meet the right person, you'll know it and it wont be so hard. You'll just feel a connection with them. My best advice is to just be yourself. If your soft spoken and shy, then thats just fine. The right person won't mind it and they will be able to coax you out of your shell easily. As far as friends, if they are true friends then they won't mind talking with you or giving you advice b/c that is what true friends do. If they start to act annoyed then just don't talk to them about the subject and find something else to talk about. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being shy or soft spoken but just be weary of guys who are pushy b/c they may see you as a push over. I would never do anythign with a guy that brings up sex too early or tries to put the moves on you right away.....those guys are just looking for an easy piece of booty. And most important above all else....Pray for God to bring you the right guy at the right time and don't obsess over it....put it in God's hands and walk away from it.....you'll be fine. My best to you.

The problem is that you can't actually be told how to behave on a date. You need to be you. You can't act and pretend and your friends will likely struggle to tell you how to act because quiet simply they are not you and what works for them is not going to work for you.

Just be yourself. Smile a lot, listen well, ask questions related to the topic in discussion. Being shy and soft spoken can be an asset. Use it to your advantage. Shy people often make the best listeners and as we know so many people love to do the talking and every group needs the quiet person who will sit back and listen BUT make sure you feed the conversation with a few questions.

First, the dating thing is not a game to "play". Second, you don't need to "read" guys, you need to make wise decisions.

Stop this shy/soft-spoken thing too. At 27, you should have made some efforts to change that by now. Learn to value yourself, gain confidence by doing things that build it. Get some counseling if you have to for this.

There are many books outs there to help with dating, see the Christian ones in the book stores, not the ones that just tell you to go out and have sex with everyone.

Learn to have conversations about interesting things, people love to talk about themselves. Practice with friends and family, those that care about you. Tell them you need their help, to practice on them. Read, watch the news, etc., so you have knowledge of different subjects that you can discuss.

When it comes to men, be very careful. You don't believe what they say, you look at their actions over a long period of time. That tells a lot. Don't get emotionally involved with a guy until you know who he is, and even then, be true to your gut. If you feel something isn't right, it isn't. Don't let them know you are naive, it would be like putting a sign on your head saying "challenge".

no because i'm in same position would like to meet someone like u feel free to contact

DEAR IM ALMOST 40 AND AM VERY OUTGOING AND I HAVE THOSE SAME THOUGHTS AND FEELING FREQUENTLY. IN MY OPINION IVE FOUND IF YOU GO WITH WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF WHEN YOU FIND A PERSON YOU LIKE GO WITH IT BUT ALWAYS BE YOU. NEVER LOOSE YOURSELF WHEN ITS MEANT TO BE IT WILL

no, you sound like me but i'm not soft spoken. there's someone for you out there.





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