All Self-harmers (anorexics, bulimics, cutters, etc..)?!
Question: How do you feel when you skip a meal/purge/cut/burn yourself?
How do you feel right after it? How about an hour later?
What triggers the feeling, the want to hurt yourself? What brought you to this point?
Answer all of the questions if you want, or maybe just one of them if you don't feel like sharing so much. Thanks (in advance) for answering...
Answers: How do you feel when you skip a meal/purge/cut/burn yourself?
How do you feel right after it? How about an hour later?
What triggers the feeling, the want to hurt yourself? What brought you to this point?
Answer all of the questions if you want, or maybe just one of them if you don't feel like sharing so much. Thanks (in advance) for answering...
I do all of the mentioned, so Ill answer all of the questions.
with the exception on starving myself, they all happen quickly. During the time when I'm actually doing one of those three, theres no other way to describe the way I feel except numb. I concentrate on what I'm doing, and think about it completly without emotion. As though its the same as doing something completly normal, like brushing my hair.
Right afterwards, I get a small high, a feeling of calmness and the loss of guilt or worry. This is only temporary, and usually lasts about a minute.
After about an hour, I've stopped thinking about it. I think I deliberatly shut it out. As an anorexic, by an hour later I'm thinking about food again. When I will next have to eat, how to avoid it, if I will be able to purge it, how many calories etc.
Starving myself is different, because it not an immediate thing. I have been for about three days without eating in the past, and it doesnt feel the same as the other three. Theres still some sense of achievement, but not all at once, and not as directly. During the period of starvation, I mostly just think about weight loss, and I get very anti-social.
Theres no specific thing that triggers me.
With starving myself, the will to is always there. Its just not always possible. Basically, whenever I am given an opportunity to, I will fast. I have very low self esteem, an obsession with control, perfection and weight, and a huge sense of guilt when I eat.
Which is why I purge, cut and burn myself. If I have eaten, I become anxious and guilty, I shake and panic. If I purge, the feeling goes away. However this usually follows with feelings of depression. Because I have allowed myself to eat, and because I have endangered my health by purging. Therefore, I feel the need to 'punish myself' which I chose to do by cutting or burning myself.
I hope this answers your questions. Please bear in mind its different for everyone.
Well i've been bulemic and a self harmer ( hangs head in shame ) . Honestly after throwing up i felt relieved some what but also dissapointed with myself for eating in the first place , then concerned because i knew how harmful it would be . As for self harming , i felt really peaceful and relaxed , but the next day i regretted it in case anyone saw or i scarred myself . I think self harming was worse in a emotional sense Bulimea was low self confidence , which could be improved and it has , but self harming , i was punishing myself . Everytime i didnt live up to some one elses standards i punished myself for it by cutting my wrists .. Things that triggered bulimea was wanting to be thinner quite honestly , after binging and purging i felt awful and shuck up like when you have a argument or fight and it scared me . I think generaly everthing got me into cutting . I also think i got it at such a young age 11 i felt like such a outcast anyway because i'd just started my first year in secondry school , im 13 now incase you'r wondering . If anyone else out their is going through it , please i know its hard but , get help you'll feel sooooo much better
x x x x
1. When I restrict, I feel like I'm in control. Phsyically I am weak, but somehow I feel strong. When I purge I feel "high" afterwards but that only lasts a few mintues before I am totally disgusted with myself. When I cut myself I feel "high", sometimes there is pain and sometimes there isn't. I feel relief and a release of emotions.
2. Like I said above, typically right after the incident there is this "high" or a very good feeling. An hour later there is pain, disgust, etc
3. Triggers can be anything. Comments, TV, pictures, scales, my own thoughts, arguments, caffeine(for binge/purge), depression, mania, accidental cuts, friends, etc
im a cuttter
when i cut it makes me fell good it helps me relieve pain
an hour later it still feels good
many things trigger it for me it just the build up of everything im bi as well which causes alot of issues for me b/c of family not accepting and all i started cutting about 2 yrs ago b/c i did not feel that i had anyone that i could talk to about things that bothered me it was and is a easyway to relieve stress and pain for me. cutting no longer hurts for me it hurt like hell the first time but now it is more like a pleasure well i hope this helped you
if you have anyother questions about cutting just ask me
my email is kingmanbratt@yahoo.com
im not sure i would call it self harm,altho i guess thats what it amounts to.that is,having anorexia on and off thru life.how do u feel when u skip a meal?hungry,but empowered in a way.why do u do it?try to endure the endless taunts and teasing and the way ur looked at and laughed at as a chubby girl.anorexia is so much more preferable in that ,untill/unless u get so scary skinny u look abjectly ill,people respond more positively to thinness.u are even admired and envied for ur slimness/self-control.i wish i could live another way,but recently when i did gain weight,a boy in my acting club said he didnt want me as his leading lady,i was too fat.result?ive dropped 2 dress sizes so far.do i like living like this?of course not.but living with peoples insults is far worse,in fact,the constant harassment is hell,and i would rather do what i can to be thin than to ever be treated so badly again.ps-i restrict calories and over-excercise.my lowest weight was 88 lbs at 5.6" tall.i think im smart enough not to lose that much again.i dont do any of the other behaviours like cutting or throwing up.i dont want to hurt or punish myself,but i just dont want to be harassed.its a shame the world feels it has a right to judge my body rather than my charactor or mind.oddly,i was ever only chubby,not obese.but i was not the super-skinny "Ideal."
it felt great after i cut myself..an hour later i wanted to do it again, because something else had already triggered it..
my mom yelling, telling me im worthless..best friend told me she didnt want to be friends anymore because i didnt like her boyfriend..just all the emotions boiling over..