Should I go back in my shell?!
Question: I've always been a little shy and naturally soft-spoken. I've always been quiet at work, but have started talking more around the girls I eat lunch with. I've opened up about my struggles and insecurities with dating and I'm trying to de-naivietize myself to certain things by asking them questions, because I feel unaware of reality. I'm really insecure about what I've revealed though because I feel like a teenager when it comes to dating (I'm in my late 20's). I don't want people to secretly find me annoying or talk negatively behind my back. I don't talk a lot, but when I do, I reveal a lot of things I'm insecure and naive about.
Would you find me annoying if I opened up to you? I'm starting to pull back a little. Should I go back in my shell?
Answers: I've always been a little shy and naturally soft-spoken. I've always been quiet at work, but have started talking more around the girls I eat lunch with. I've opened up about my struggles and insecurities with dating and I'm trying to de-naivietize myself to certain things by asking them questions, because I feel unaware of reality. I'm really insecure about what I've revealed though because I feel like a teenager when it comes to dating (I'm in my late 20's). I don't want people to secretly find me annoying or talk negatively behind my back. I don't talk a lot, but when I do, I reveal a lot of things I'm insecure and naive about.
Would you find me annoying if I opened up to you? I'm starting to pull back a little. Should I go back in my shell?
I've always been the same as you so I find it difficult to discuss my private thoughts and feelings and to ask questions and I get nervous if I reveal to much because I am afraid of what people will think since I am sort of naive about alot of things because of the way I grew up. But I don't suggest you go back in your "shell". Even though you are shy, it is good to talk to other people because other people's imput can be a good thing and can help you grow as a person. But also have some discression. You arent used to being open so you might say to much to soon, which can be a bad thing. Just take it slow but stay open to experiences.
no open up gurl show them who yuo really are!
huney... i used to be kinda shy then i opened up and i relized being yourself and being crazy are so much fun.... even if other people think bad of you (wich is better than people haveing no idea you exsist) Your still happy and having fun and thats the most important thing
No way...hehe I'm proud of you for opening up!!
don't worry about what other people think of you too much and if they have a problem with you and can't say it to your face then they are just hopeless and not worth you worrying about them.
Stay outta that shell
blow up the shelll actually
You go girl! It's great that you are able to open up and reveal things to others. I have the same problem. Outside of my best friend, I struggle to share my personal thoughts with anybody else. I say keep it up and don't go back in that shell!
Not at all. You live once, if you don't believe in yourself or what you do, why should others? :) good luck girl
well work is not an appropriate place to talk about dating (although i do!)
i do not "go in your shell" but become "extroverted" meaning ask ppl about themselves and be more open and interested in them -- and i should take my own advice -- i'm a talker.
"confiding" in ppl is overrated. you should only do it with friends or ppl who confide in you or ppl who ask you to confide in them or otherwise encourage you.
they tell you that talking about your feeling all the time is healthy, but really there is such a thing as talking too much or to the wrong people or in the wrong way. i had a boyfriend who kept lying around and crying about the "universe" and his place in it, and he refused to get up and go outside, and so i had to listen to him cry instead of getting up and going outside, even tho for BOTH of us, a walk in the fresh air would do us good. Sometimes it's best to deal with a problem then whine about it.
as for dating, just sign up for match.com and date! if you are really bad at it, see the dates as "practice" for "coming out of your shell". you can make a lot of mistakes that way -- and NOT pay for them!
also look at meetup.com for friends-type company. it is very appropriate to reveal things you are naive or insecure about to a circle of women you meet there at a bar.
remember: your co-workers are NOT your friends. while you can make friends with some of them -- take you cue from them and if they don't open up to you, you don't open up to them. a lot of ppl feel very un-comfortable talking about personal stuff at work. I do!
you are naive to think you ahve to iether open up to co-workers at lunch or go back in your shell. there are other options. you can be (and should be) "prefessional" at work and talk about things you see other ppl talk about (but no more! or maybe a little less!) and you can come out of your shell with other ppl or in other ways.
if you are religious, come out of your shell to your priest or whatever. join church activities. i'm an atheist so that's out for me. i use meetup.com to find non-dating things to do and match.com to date! i found the whiny ex-boyfriend who won't go outside there....
I'd say it depends....
Its great your coming out of 'your shell'...and you must feel like you trust the people around you at work to talk about such personal things??? - how would you react if they reacted negatively to your information/ questions? Could you cope if they "took the piss out of you?" or started to "laugh at your questions?"
People can be cruel, but yep no reason to keep quiet. I hope you find a happy medium thats right for you!
all the best :)