CONFIDENCE and SELF-ASTEEM-please help! Please answer this?!


Question: I think i have sometimes a self-asteem and confidence issues.

Sometimes i put myself down and dont think i am as good as i should be or like someone else.
and when i need to do something like a presentation or read infront of people i feel nervous and dont want to do it.

Please, offer me advice to get over this feeling!

THANK YOU!

(10pts to detail, examples and practical ideas to get rid of this..)


please no unnecessary comments, if you need to say something that will not help, please click on another question!


:):)


Answers: I think i have sometimes a self-asteem and confidence issues.

Sometimes i put myself down and dont think i am as good as i should be or like someone else.
and when i need to do something like a presentation or read infront of people i feel nervous and dont want to do it.

Please, offer me advice to get over this feeling!

THANK YOU!

(10pts to detail, examples and practical ideas to get rid of this..)


please no unnecessary comments, if you need to say something that will not help, please click on another question!


:):)

Dear Friend

I used to be like you having a self esteem and confidence issue.

I am not sure about you, but I have an issue to even pick up the phone to order for a pizza delivery. It was that bad. Serious.

The incidences that happened subsequently helped me to raise my self esteem and confidence level one step at a time.

1) Working part time at a market research company

It was the holiday period and my friends wanted to earn some extra spare cash and so they got me along. Little did I know part of the job scope if to pick up the phone to call and to conduct surveys.

You bet it was jittery the first few encounters, I would literally feel the shiver within my voice.

However as the days go by, it just came naturally to pick up the phone to call and conduct the surveys.

Ever since, after this short stinct at the market research company, ordering pizza is a breeze =)

2) That's over the phone, like you, I have all the butterflies in the world felt deep within my guts when it comes to presentation.

You may be taught to treat your audiences as trees or just look over their heads and just treat as if you are talking to yourself.

Physiologically, my legs just goes soft by itself when it is my turn to speak and present. Can you feel that?

Your legs are weak and you have to manage your tone of voice because they seem to jingle together.

Anyway THIS WAS THE BREAKTHROUGH...

2) I approached the President during a medical congress

What a coincidence, I was working part time to raise funds for a charitable organisation by selling calling cards. We were told that the President was going to drop by our booth.

We were preparing and were anticipating his arrival when he did a U turn to the reception area and miss our booth totally.

Confession over here, I did not know what got into me but I mustered my courage to go near to the reception area, obviously I was stopped by his guards and the event organisers.

And then I took out my notepad and wrote a short note that I am representing this charitable foundation to raise funds and would like him to take a look at it. Call me naive or whatever.

I was rejected first by the even organiser. BUT i was adamant and told the event organiser to pass it to his personal assistant. I am glad that at least he did me a favour by passing the note to him.

Then this uniformed personnel came out and say that he will stop the President for me when he is leaving the reception in a moments time and suggested I should take a photograph with me.

That moment was it.

A gush of elevated confidence and self esteem filled in evey cell that was present in my body. I walked up to the President, presented the calling card to him and I did not have a camera with him, but the flashes kept coming from event photographers and the National Archives.

Even though I have to purchase the photographs from the event organisers and National Archives.

That was the day that I breakthrough. It was the new benchmark that I set for myself that resonate within me till now.

Whenever I hesitate to approach somebody, I will tall myself this, "If I have the courage to approch the President, who is XXX to stop me, I can do this!"

What I want to share with you is this, step out of your comfort zone, do something really crazy, approaching the President is a really mad thing to do for me at that time.

More importantly, you need to find a way to set the new benchmark for yourself to breakthrough.

Wow! Thank you for asking this question, because I just realised I have new information for my blog readers =)

This is a real life story and I have got proof of the photographgs =)

I would invite you to my blog to see if there are any other resources that are of help to you. It is at http://www.SelfHelpMotivationBlog.com

I sincerely hope this sharing is of help to you.

Take care!
JY Chia
Your Self Help Motivator
www.SelfHelpMotivationBlog.com

Joining theatre for me was the breaking point for my self esteem. Maybe you shouldtry joining something like this. Not necessarily theatre, but something that will break your shell a little. Maybe go out on a leap and try out for a play or something.

Honestly nobody can help you with this. You have to help yourself. Unless you realize how wonderful and unique you are (and this should be more than enough reason to smile henceforth showing a sense of confidence) , you wont ever get what you want.

everyday you wake up and look into your mirror and give yourself three compliments, even if you dont believe them....eventually you will.

we all have special little quirks that make us beautiful inside and out, and finally figuring those little things out is an amazing life experience all on its own!

It's good you are AWARE that you are putting yourself down because now you can change that behavior.
You are normal to be a bit nervous before a large presentation.
As I see it, you can approach this issue on several fronts.
Chemically, your blood and body chemicals may be out of whack from your environment, stress levels, the foods you eat, any drugs you're taking, and your thoughts and reactions to your present situation.
So you could look at the foods you are eating, the stressors in your life,any medications you are on, your environment, etc and see if you can make any connections there.

I also think that having a social network is CRUCIAL for good mental health. You need to have friends (or at least one really good one), a job you can tolerate(or actually enjoy), a therapist or counselor, hobbies for fun, and a romantic partner.

I also suggest doing some fitness activities or some sport that you enjoy to get your heart rate up and your muscles into good shape.

I suggest doing some exercises that get the legs moving, such as walking, jogging, running, swimming or bike riding.
These exercises that really get your heart pumping will burn the weight off quickly.

I like push ups, yoga stretches, pull ups, crunches, curl ups, leg stretches, calf raises, and squats as far as being good toning exercises that use no equipment and cost zero money to perform.

I like taking some dumbbells and doing some easy bicep curls, military presses, and lateral raises.

I think diet is important also and try to eat healthy home-cooked meals with lots of vegetables in them.

I try to stay away from the pop and sugar, candy, and fast food.

I try to get a good night's sleep each night.

I had similar issues a few months back. I learned that if I spoke to the audience like I was above them I had less of a problem getting my message out. It is hard to explain how someone can do that without looking obnoxious or arrogant, but it does work. A Humanities professor I had used to make us say "I am better than you are... I study Humanities" to help us visualize ourselves in the scenarios. Try it out.

The first, and maybe biggest, issue you need to address is putting positive thoughts in place of your existing self-image.
It takes a little practice, but I know you can do this!

Set aside a few minutes each day to have a positive "talk" with yourself. Keep it simple at first, using a few statements like "I am a good person, with plenty of skills." "I am unique and precious" "I am intelligent", "I am kind".....whatever comes to mind about yourself that you like or is positive.

Repeat these statements to yourself, and add more as you
think of more positive aspects of yourself.

When a future event starts to make you nervous, use statements about whatever skills you need to succeed, like
"I make really good presentations" "I have an attractive speaking style" "I have a pleasent voice" .

Get into the habit of praising yourself for having whatever skills or talents you'll need.

The cognitive cycle of self-fulfilling prophacy will kick in, and you will see yourself developing and displaying these skills.

Get started today!





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