Annoyed by other people's stress?!
Question: Does anyone ever get annoyed by other people's stress or negative emotions? I recently got annoyed with a guy who was always complaining about his workload. I had always been compassionate toward this person before but when I saw that he actually enjoyed being stressed out, I started to get annoyed by him. It sounds insensitive on my part, but has anyone else been annoyed in this way?
Answers: Does anyone ever get annoyed by other people's stress or negative emotions? I recently got annoyed with a guy who was always complaining about his workload. I had always been compassionate toward this person before but when I saw that he actually enjoyed being stressed out, I started to get annoyed by him. It sounds insensitive on my part, but has anyone else been annoyed in this way?
Gilmore - you are not insensitive, if anything you are too sensitive, too nice. EVERYONE has problems and everyone complains about their problems SOMETIMES. But, there are some people who CONSTANTLY complain about their problems ALL the time. Sorry to say this, but people who constantly complain have a VICTIM mentality and take no responsibility or make any effort to solve their problems. Victims can be emotional vampires...being around them depletes your emotional energy. Also, listening to someone complain all the time is BAD for YOUR health.
You became annoyed because on some level you realized your coworker was using you to dump his feelings.
All the time, literally.
My brother in law is 20, works at walmart making close to 8.00/hour, will have his college education paid for, never has to clean (he doesn't even make his own bed, his mom does it for him), has his food served to him, and pays $10 a month utilities, and $200/6 months for car insurance..... just because he gets to play WoW ALL DAY WHEN HE DOESNT WORK.
Then he will wake up when he does have to work and be all "my life sucks, I hate work, I wish things were easier for me, why do I even bother doing anything, I suck, I have to pay so many bills, it's not fair, my life isn't fair....."
When he says that to me, I want to wring his neck...
EDIT: his mom and dad will pay for his college education..***
Sure. It's not so much the stress as the constant complaining about it that gets me down. I've cut back a lot on relationships with people who seem to be stuck in their misery. Some of them can't help it; becauseof age and upbringing they can't do things differently. But for the ones that I see a glimmer of hope in, I ask them what THEY are going to do about whatever they're complaining about. You have to do it more than once in case it takes them some time to catch on. But they usually cut back on the complaints. That's the "nice" way to do it. When I'm feeling cranky, I may just say to the person that I'm not the complaint department.
no, it's perfectly fine. i get annoyed by other people's stress...heck, i get annoyed by my own stress. ask him if anything good is going on in his life, and makes sure you push the word "good"
just tell the guy u think u have it bad think of the guy who dont have a job load and cant feed his family.
To agree with you, there are some people who really do get off on being miserable and nagging. It's just in them and they will always find something to whine about. It's a way of life that they're used to and they just can't be happy about anything.
It can be very annoying. But put it in this perspective that no matter how minor what the person complains about might be, it is major to him/her. There are some people who literally stress out more over everyday chores than others do over life's tragedies. People are very different, they have different thresholds for pain/tolerance, so it's best not to judge. Just be glad you don't have that mentality and steer clear of people like this so they don't bring you down b/c they can. These people really know how to feel sorry for themselves and they can easily get to you feeling sorry for them too. And that's just what they want. They thrive on the pity, even if they'd never admit it. Just try to udnerstand that that's their mentality and they may not know of a better way and that maybe a normal workload is indeed a lot of stress for them. You don't need to be insensitive..just smile and nod and walk away...but don't accept to join their pity party either. If you're close to this person, you might even want to talk to him, either at length or in passing, and tell them to think of the bright side or think how much worse things can be. Give them some of your perspective to work with. Who knows? Maybe he'll lighten up...or at least stop whining to you about it.
untill you know where that person is comeing from, stay away from them if you don't want to hear it your negitivity will only make it worse