Why can't I cry?!


Question: I use to cry pretty easily but now I can't. Last time I cried was back in April 07 after a nervous break down. Before I use to cry so easy. When I feel sad I feel like crying I could sorta feel my tears trying to escape but I can't.
I almost did yesterday at the police station after I got arrested and I had to wait for my friend out in the freezing cold for 2 hours because the stupid cops won't let me in. (I do not know why I could not wait in the door way I was not causing a disturbance) any ways I almost did. A couple of tears but I couldn't. I use to cry in public but it all stoped.
I sorta do want to cry I am past do for one. I think it might let go some inner stress.
Its weird is it even normal I can't ever cry again?


Answers: I use to cry pretty easily but now I can't. Last time I cried was back in April 07 after a nervous break down. Before I use to cry so easy. When I feel sad I feel like crying I could sorta feel my tears trying to escape but I can't.
I almost did yesterday at the police station after I got arrested and I had to wait for my friend out in the freezing cold for 2 hours because the stupid cops won't let me in. (I do not know why I could not wait in the door way I was not causing a disturbance) any ways I almost did. A couple of tears but I couldn't. I use to cry in public but it all stoped.
I sorta do want to cry I am past do for one. I think it might let go some inner stress.
Its weird is it even normal I can't ever cry again?

Oh my goodness I so disagree with Nurse Wendy. Crying is a normal and often important thing for every person, men too. Had the opposite thing once: I used to never cry and then after a breakdown I cry at anything. So I think I understand.

After your breakdown, and it could be anything, but maybe your whole body feels used up. Like you have cried all there is to cry. Or you are afraid to have such strong emotions again. It could be anything.

However, it is totally normal. There is no sense in worrying about it. My guess is you will start to cry again at something silly-- like a sappy movie or song-- and then maybe a lot of tears and emotion will come out. I've been there.

Or maybe you will be afraid to show your emotions for a while. Do you repress other emotions? Sadness? Do you try not to let people know how you feel? It sounds like you are troubled, if you are getting arrested. Maybe your emotions are going in the wrong direction. Lots of times anger is just a cover-up for sadness. I don't know what you did, but that may have been a part of that. Or you want to feel like you don't care, and break the law because of that.

The sadness will come out if you let it but don't push it. When you felt those tears, some part of you told you not to cry. Maybe it felt like a weakness, or a danger. I think if you don't worry about it but just relax and let it flow when it does happen, your emotions will help you sort it out.

Are you seeing a therapist? I am thinking you must be if you had a breakdown. If not, you must get one. Assuming you are, do you trust him/her with your emotions? Can you tell him/her exactly how you feel? Have you been able to tell him/her about not being able to cry? Have you been able to talk about the feelings that make you want to break the law?

If not, my first suggestion is to try it and see. Therapists are pretty understanding and you can tell them just about anything. Try with a small thing that is hard to say and go from there. It is also possible that you and your therapist don't click. Try hard but if it doesn't work, find another therapist. But you must tell and talk to your old therapist about why you want to change.

Or maybe you feel comfortable talking to a certain teacher, or a brother or sister, or one of your parents. Again, you might find your parents easier to talk to and more understanding than you thought. Again, try with something small. Saying "I feel hurt when..." or "I feel angry when..." is a big start.

I feel for you and I hope you can talk about it to someone. Just relax and don't worry about not crying. Don't judge yourself. Try to be honest about your emotions and don't hold them back-- honest with yourself and with people you can trust.

I'll be thinking of you.

Natasha

Maybe it is becuase you are growing up. Not crying over petty things shows that you are very matture.

If you do cry, then Catch your breath. Or count to 10. Or do something that lets you settle down for a few moments, especially if you're feeling angry or irritable. Try to look at the situation from the point of view of a wise observer.

as you age you cry less.

i cant cry 2, n im 19, i really dont know y, maybe i dont wanna people think im wieck, last time i cried was 2 years ago

As a mental health practitioner with 20+ years experience, now retired, I can tell you that not crying is not something bad. And just because you don't do it now does not mean you "can't ever cry again". Most likely you're just going through a phase in life, and as "Nurse wendy" said, maybe you're just growing up a bit and putting things in a more proper perspective, and not "crying over spilt milk" as the old saying goes. Not to panic. Your tear ducts did not dry up, and you have not grown old and stone cold. By the fact you call cops "stupid" because they won't let you indoors form the cold, or for any reason at all, shows you have not grown old, or grown up entirely either. Calm down, take a deep breath, and get over it. Oh, and did you know that crying can CAUSE inner stress too, by "making a mountain out of a mole hill" as the old saying goes? God Bless you.

I ask myself this question all the time. I stopped crying when I was 8. I'm now 23. I've cried maybe 3-4 times within that time frame. So, sorry, I can't answer that question for you.





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