How come when your in the deepest depressions, are lonely & isolated, everyone s!
Question: everyone seems happy, wearing huge grins....enjoying life...worlds away from your isolation, dispair, misery and pain....sometimes, when i feel paranoid, it feels like its being done on purpous...to taunt me....like its the sickness and perversion of others making you feel 100 times worse.
what do you think on this?
for example i have borderline personality, ive lived alone for two years....have made no friends in life ever....never been in a relationship, ever......never been employed, ever....all due to my problems.......i have no one to turn to except a few '' online friends '' who arnt around much.....dont message me anymore......and a 56 year old mum, who cant get around much anymore, because shes in the early stages of emphesema.
i have alot of worries....housing worries, whether i should move to be around others so im not lonely....but then movings the big unknown, a big upeval & not easy..
set backs in therapy because ive missed appointments because of high panic & anxiety
Answers: everyone seems happy, wearing huge grins....enjoying life...worlds away from your isolation, dispair, misery and pain....sometimes, when i feel paranoid, it feels like its being done on purpous...to taunt me....like its the sickness and perversion of others making you feel 100 times worse.
what do you think on this?
for example i have borderline personality, ive lived alone for two years....have made no friends in life ever....never been in a relationship, ever......never been employed, ever....all due to my problems.......i have no one to turn to except a few '' online friends '' who arnt around much.....dont message me anymore......and a 56 year old mum, who cant get around much anymore, because shes in the early stages of emphesema.
i have alot of worries....housing worries, whether i should move to be around others so im not lonely....but then movings the big unknown, a big upeval & not easy..
set backs in therapy because ive missed appointments because of high panic & anxiety
It is because you are in a lot of pain and unhappiness that others seem happier. Looking happy doesn't mean happy though. Remember many people in pain hide it and suffer immensely.
I agree that you need to take baby steps. Finding a good group therapy will remind you that you are not alone. Perhaps there are online therapy groups that use IM or something for the days that you are too stressed to leave home.
*Note that my Avatar is growling*
Im really sorry to hear about all this pain in your life. I agree that when I am in the depths of depression, everyone else is just "loving life" and having a great time , when Im just sulking around and not wanting to do anything productive.
My suggestion is just to get through one day at a time and make small goals for yourself and take baby steps, that way it won't seem so impossible and overwhelming.
Boy the list is long, you need to start with one thing at a time & not try & take on so much in one hit as that can become overwhelming. people that have smiles on their faces are not out there to taunt you I believe that is their personalities. Something you will need to accept. You do need to get to the root cause when u first experienced depression etc. behind depression there is anger & if you can go to when u first experienced it & what brought it on then you will be on the road to deal with it but until you look deeper you will stay where you are & you do need to keep up seeing a counsellor too.