Why do I feel so empty?!
Question: I am in a loving relationship, I have a good job, to the outside world you would think I lead a fairly fullfilling life.
But its not.
I feel like I could cry most days at the drop of a hat.
Why do I feel like this? Why do I feel as though I dont have any friends close by? Why do i see people in my town and wish i had the guts to ask them to be friends with me?
Why do I feel as though I am never going to achieve my goals. My only goals are to get married and have kids and be a good wife and mother. am I aiming too high by wanting that?
I am bored all the time.... the only entertainment we have is watching dvds and the net. Theres nowhere to go and nobody to see.
Why does growing older depress me? Why does money depress me? Why can't I get motivated do do things?
whats wrong with me?
Answers: I am in a loving relationship, I have a good job, to the outside world you would think I lead a fairly fullfilling life.
But its not.
I feel like I could cry most days at the drop of a hat.
Why do I feel like this? Why do I feel as though I dont have any friends close by? Why do i see people in my town and wish i had the guts to ask them to be friends with me?
Why do I feel as though I am never going to achieve my goals. My only goals are to get married and have kids and be a good wife and mother. am I aiming too high by wanting that?
I am bored all the time.... the only entertainment we have is watching dvds and the net. Theres nowhere to go and nobody to see.
Why does growing older depress me? Why does money depress me? Why can't I get motivated do do things?
whats wrong with me?
You might be either suffering from depression or just haven't found the "it" of your existance. If you wish to know about depression you can check out http://health.yahoo.com/depression-overv...
its a fairly understandable explanation of the symptoms and what not.
As for the it of your existance; I am referring to the one thing ( or several things) that brings you joy.
Remember when you were a child what was your passion? What could you spend hours on doing without realizing so much time had gone by. For some its making music for others its reading or writting. What makes you smile?
From the sound of it appears as if you need girl friends. Ask yourself; what is stoping me from going over and just talking to people?
When you go to the cashier to pay for your merchanside you have the option of making small talk with that individual or not. Why not start with small talk with these people in you home town?
What is the worst thing that can happen? They ignore you? So what? they didn't know you to begin with!
Also keep in mind that friendships like all good things in life need to be cultivated. You can't expect someone to be your best bud from day one. Grown up's world doesn't work like that ( especially the womens' realm). You have to court your new friend.
As far as the loving relationship. My only question is this; Are you in love or simply comfortable?
You can only bore yourself. In other words you need to use your imagination in order to get out of your rut. There is always something to do, it just might sound boring, but how will you know its so unless you go out and find out for yourself?
Just go out and take a chance!
We all grow old no matter how many commercials there are selling us on the idea of eternal youth. You know the ones I'm referring to; anti aging creams, affordable plastic surgery commercials, hair dying products...... all a giant commercial conspiracy to get us to buy their products by telling us we are not good enough. Well. we are; now realize that! and look at how you can age better than your ancestors did.
Now, get off your tush and experience the world! You don't have to enjoy everything but at least try it out to find out it's not for you ( think green eggs and ham).
tried religion?
Everyone feels this way, some people are just more honest than others.
Try prozac. It's good stuff.
faith definitely changes your world. Also - if you have a creative edge why don't you try taking up a musical instrument or taking up art ? Getting enrolled in community classes or sport of any sort will get you out meeting people - sounds like you need more relationships ! church life can also be very rich and rewarding - there are groups for young people to hang together and you would be welcomed in without much effort on your part ! Don't be afraid to just show up at a church service and let people approach you - ask about young adult programs. Good luck !
First of all there is nothing wrong with you. Empty is not a feeling, it is a thought or idea you have of what empty is like. Under all of who you think you are is a hurting little person who needs to be heard. You need to feel your true feelings of anger, sadness, grief, and hurt. Your are running and the perfect life is not working for you because you have been hiding from all the stuff you wish you could release, and the good news is that you can. But only you can do it. Look up grief work on the computer and it will explain it to you. You will find joy, only when you do the work.
most people feel this way.
but most people keep it inside.
if i were you i would go to a
psychiatrist. then talk to them about
this and maybe you can get some meds to help you.
Wow, that is a lot of questions. However, lets go with the basic concept that happiness comes from need fulfillment. It sounds like there is something in your life...some need that is not being met. As this is likely the case, you feel depressed because of it. Perhaps you want more adventure in your life...perhaps you want to attain a higher status or professional/academic role? Why are your only goals to get married and have kids? It would appear there might be more going on. What has kept you from your goal (if that truly is the only one) since you are in this wonderful relationship already?
You see, there could be a number of things. Personally, the getting married and having kids goal sounds like a goal set for you by family or society that you feel you need to set as a goal, but because you are always bored and such, I would think there is a more adventurous side of you that is not allowed to grow and experience and that is where the problem sits.
"Even cowgirls get the blues". Your ambitions are quite normal, and your current state of mind typical of women suffering from depression. See depression treatments, at ezy-build *(below) in section 2, and consult a doctor, to eliminate thyroid problems, etc. as possible contributing factors: also seek a referral to a therapist using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy. It is your decision, and yours alone, as to whether to take any antidepressants offered, but, before you do, read section 1, and check medications out at www.drugs.com so you will be on the lookout for side effects, like sexual dysfunction. My strong recommendation, however, is to follow the advice of my doctor, his associate, and also Marcelle Pick, OB/GYN NP, and Dr. Mercola, as well, at http://www.mercola.com and avoid antidepressants (pages 2V, and 2Z refer, & antidepressant websites: page 2). The reasons why we all share the same view on this are explained in full, as you will find, if you read the whole section. All of their advice, (except prayer, because many people are not religious) I have incorporated into the "core treatments", including others as options, such as the supplements: Inositol, or SAMe, or herbal remedies, like St. John's wort. If you are diagnosed with clinical (major) depression, antidepressants may be necessary for a while, which will give the treatments time to become effective. The antidepressants themselves need at least several days, or even weeks to begin becoming effective. It's a good idea to taper off them slowly, with medical advice, after several months, say, to a couple of years, at most, because they are only effective in the long term for about 30% of people. Because of this, you would be well advised to begin the treatments immediately, and maintain them. I'd just thank your mental health care provider, and pocket the prescription, trying the treatments for a few months, to see if they are sufficient for you, before considering filling it (unless clinically depressed, and having great difficulty functioning, or suicidal, in which case I'd take them). If the amount of daylight you have been exposed to recently has reduced, perhaps due to the change of seasons, see Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) in section 2, at * http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and, instead of taking 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily; replace 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements for the winter months only! (or, as probably a better alternative to the 2 cod liver oil supplements: 1 teaspoonful of cod liver oil, with a little butter, to ensure its use; I take mine on sourdough rye bread, or toast, covered with fishpaste, and pepper, to mask the strong taste). Consider having your doctor test your vitamin D levels. Many religious organisations offer free, or low cost psychological counselling: you don't need to be a member. Some are Catholic counselling, the Methodist church, and the Unitarians. Contact your county/local mental health agency, and find out the situation there regarding treatment.
Dear friend,
You might want to consider if you are suffering from depression. The website below is very informative.
It's important for you to know that you are not alone in feeling this way.
It seems as if you feel a sense of hopelessness at being stuck in a rut and being unable to take positive steps to achieve your goal. I'd like to suggest 6 things that I do that have helped me:
1) Count your blessings. List all the good things in your life
2) Set micro goals - goals that are achievable and that help you to move closer towards your larger goals.
3) Accept that the only thing you can control and change is you.
4) Love yourself and accept yourself on a daily basis. Give yourself positive affirmations.
5) Reconnect with loved ones.
6) Use your skills and talents and time to help others in need of your help.
Hope these tips help you as much as they've helped me.
Best regards, xxx
The answer to your question is in your question..."I have a loving relationship.." " I want to get married and have kids, be a mother etc.,"
It's fairly obvious that you feel unfulfilled, and helpless regarding these aims.
What's the good of a loving relationhip if it is not leading to this, the thing to do would be to frankly communicate your feelings, clarify everything, then, if there is hope for the future you will begin to set goals with enthusiasm.
I help people work and achieve their goals on online, I have seen the changes that take place when they focus on them, you know what you want, go for it!
Best wishes, I hope it works out.