PARENTS!? with more than what kid, what do you say about this?!
Question: OK, so I'll get to the question part later, but quickly read this. Parents that have more than one kid and love both (or you know, all) of their kids more than they can imagine, I know this, but I find it hard to believe that they cant love one just that incy wincy bit more. Imagine if one kid was a 'screw up' crappy grades, nasty attitude, and the other was charming, caring, good as gold, can a parent really love theire children equally? What do you think? nowdays if you heard someone say they loved one child more than another, people would frown, thats why im asking on the internet please parents, tell me the truth. I dont mean to be offencive by asking this question, and can see why some parents might be offended, sorry, in that case.
Answers: OK, so I'll get to the question part later, but quickly read this. Parents that have more than one kid and love both (or you know, all) of their kids more than they can imagine, I know this, but I find it hard to believe that they cant love one just that incy wincy bit more. Imagine if one kid was a 'screw up' crappy grades, nasty attitude, and the other was charming, caring, good as gold, can a parent really love theire children equally? What do you think? nowdays if you heard someone say they loved one child more than another, people would frown, thats why im asking on the internet please parents, tell me the truth. I dont mean to be offencive by asking this question, and can see why some parents might be offended, sorry, in that case.
Of all our children, we love each one "differently"
Some are easy to love, and some are difficult to love.
It's not that we love any 2 the same,
but we do love and care for each one...........
not for what they do, but for WHO THEY ARE.
We all have our crosses to bear and we still love the bad kid as much as the good kid. We may go out more sometimes for the problem child and the good kid may feel neglected or whatever because of that display of attention. However, in the long run, we are only trying to do our best, even when our kids are giving us the most grief.
Personally, as a mother I think you love all of your children differently but unconditionally.
If one child was the textbook superstar perfect child and the other child a "screw up", I could definitely see as a parent feeling depressed and sad but nonetheless, still loving the child and blaming myself for the way they turned out.
I think the love for the children is the same but you might just not like the "screw up" as much. I love all my children equally but I like my baby the most :)
I know that I am the favorite one because I never did anything to upset my parents.
When I asked my mother about this, she said she loves all of us but in a different way. She said she worries about all her children. To put it in her words, "Mothers love all their children."
This is coming from a parent and child who dealt with this issues.
I personally could never love one of my kids more then the other or even favor one over the other. If for no other reason then my own childhood experience with it and how it has affected me.
As a child who grew up very troubled (and remained very troubled a lot of times) These issue still cause me really painful feelings. My mother has always favored my sister over me and most of her time and affection was wrapped up in her life...even as an adult.. I have tried very hard to make her happy though suceeding at positive goals so she would respond to me in the same affectinate way but it seemed no matter how hard to worked she was only to see the bad in my life. I'm not perfect I make stupid irresposible decisions sometimes and sometimes I make them again but I needed her around more when Im making stupid mistakes in life then when everything is going smooth. What she taught me by slipping out of my life during those hard times was that I was not worthy of her love and support and ultimately I wasnt worthy of love and support even when things were going great in my life. Maybe a big part of it was the mistakes I have made have been the same or very simular to the ones she has. She is Bipolar and has been in and out treatment for it but ultimately chooses not to treat it. I have a mental illness too... Schizophrenia... I have done the same as her in respect to treating the condition. It is the problems asociated with the illness that pushed her out even though I have dealt with her unmedicated illness for years as well..
I guess my point in telling this is some parents tend to focus their attention more on the kid that's doing well leaving the troubled child even more troubled. Sometimes it's the exact opposite and the troubled child is focused on more leaving the child without serious issues to develope a few.
Its very likely my mother loved me just as much as she did my sister but for whatever reason she could not deal with my problems.
Also I would like to point out that a childs perception will be what results in the emotional hang ups surrounding this type issue.. Even if my mother really did love me just as much as she did my sister her behavior in my eyes as a child and as an adult whos still seeing through those same eyes, it did not appear that way.
It is very easy to find yourself wrapped up in a troubled child issues and very easy to avoid the issues by favoring the child who is not so messed up... but these issues really do affect the kids.... the good kids and the kids having issues..
Parenting isnt easy, especially in this day and time. Anyone who says it is has shipped their kids off to boarding school or somehting. We all screw our kids up in some way no matter how hard we try to be perfect parents for our kids.. You do the best you can and pray your kids grow up to be happy, healthy, productive people in the world.. And if they dont you keep on loving them till they can love themself enough to get things on the right track. If I'm not worthy of my parents love and affection surely I wont be worthy of anyone elses either.
Sorry This got so long and rambly..Sensitive subject.
I have three daughter's the first two are nothing like me but the youngest is more like me than me. IT's scary while I love all of them and would do anything that I could for any of them. I feel closest to the youngest one. Maybe because she's more like me than the other's maybe becasue I understand and empathize with her more. So even though I love all of my girls the same amount, I love them differently for two reasons, Each of these children are different and there for require different things from me, and the youngest is most like me and seems to relate to me more than the other two. So even though you love the children the same amount you love them differently.