I feel depressed often what should I do?!
Question: Ever since I was 12 (that I can remember) I often feel depressed and sometimes have suicidal thoughts it happened more when I was younger but I still have suicidal thoughts sometimes. I feel depressed right now and I don't know why. I don't feel like eating, bathing, or going anywhere. My husband doesn't do anything about it either. I tell him how I feel and all he does is get home from work, eat, play video games and watch sports and go to sleep. I'm alone all day and I only have my dog to keep me company but I feel very lonely. I don't know what else to do, feels like my husband doesn't care and my friends only call me when they have problems and need my advice. What do you think I should do?
Answers: Ever since I was 12 (that I can remember) I often feel depressed and sometimes have suicidal thoughts it happened more when I was younger but I still have suicidal thoughts sometimes. I feel depressed right now and I don't know why. I don't feel like eating, bathing, or going anywhere. My husband doesn't do anything about it either. I tell him how I feel and all he does is get home from work, eat, play video games and watch sports and go to sleep. I'm alone all day and I only have my dog to keep me company but I feel very lonely. I don't know what else to do, feels like my husband doesn't care and my friends only call me when they have problems and need my advice. What do you think I should do?
you sound like me about 15 years ago. MY husband sold life insurance, and had a 60 - 80 hours a week. i was alone CONSTANTLY and lonely... who wouldn't be? All your symptoms are clinical depression. Clinical depression is losing interest in things you loved, interacting with friends and family, sleeping 12 - 14 hours a day, and crying for no reason,OFTEN. Unfortunately, you can tell friends etc. how you feel till you're blue in the face and it won't help.
And although your husbands reaction is the old 'ah, who cares?' it possible he's acting that way because he feels helpless. All men are programed -- by other men -- to believe that when a female vents her frustrations, wanting a friendly ear, that she is REALLY giving them something to "fix". And if they can't "fix it" the try to avoid it, cause it stress them out. For instance, if you come home from work and say you hate your boss, he would probably say "well quit your job then if you hate it so much!"
Anyway -- my hubby was also rarely home, and all i had was a dog. getting out of your house is a good start... go for a walk and just relax your mind so you are noticing the day, or the seasons, weather, other people walking. Take a CD player with you, and ear buds, and play upbeat music not soft rock or easy listening, REAL rock n roll. as you get into the music, walk a little faster... the exercise releases endorphins into your system that make you feel healthy and relaxed. i love walking, cause i don't need any special equipment -- walking shoes and music, and I'm off! Exercise really DOES help; also, if you can afford it, join a fitness center. Find people there with the same fitness goals as you, and ask if they'll be there next week or whenever YOU'LL be there next. It gives you something to look forward to, and you make friends at the same time. All of a sudden life will seem interesting again. Oh and don't tell your new friends about being depressed -- these things truly help, I know... i had the same thoughts as you and I'm still here. you need to think of yourself, dear... forget your hubby -- he's a guy, and guys NEVER understand feelings. It's a losing battle. And... if you discover you harbor anger about your husbands callous ways and ignoring you, wait till no ones around and scream the way you feel. If you need to, punch the **** out of a pillow and scream whatever you feel -- mine was i hate him, i hate him,, i HATE him! that only made me feel better briefly, but it helped a lot to be able to vent.
So do the exercise with music thing, and join a fitness place... you'll find yourself feeling less helpless and overwhelmed. it worked for me... it never came back because i realized that some things are just beyond my control. i stopped hinting at my hubby to care about whatever, i stopped asking him to take me places -- i just created my OWN fitness or mind and health.
So the next time you are thinking suicidal, please tell yourself that you are really just feeling overwhelmed, and it will pass. Suicide doesn't give you a sense of relief -- you'll be gone -- but it DOES create a vast amount of grief and guilt for your family... and it's something they might NEVER get over. Just try the things i recommend... they WILL help. They helped me.
You are responsible for your own mental health; not your husband. It's very difficult to live with a spouse who is experiencing depression.
Don't do what you feel like doing. You need to do what you need to do:
Exercise out side daily for at least 20 minutes; even if the weather is bad.
Get out side the house and be with people daily. This can be going to the mall, walking where people frequent, phoning a friend, taking your dog to a place other dog lovers frequent.
Perhaps try obedience or agility with your dog.
Why aren't you working at a job?
If the above suggestions aren't helpful, I suggest you see a therapist. They are very helpful with helping people who need to jump start their life and work out issues that are troubling.
Just Do It!
Hi Lady In Black
This is the time for you to learn about yourself on your own. There is a whole world out there and it's waiting for you decide what you want to do in life. You can do anyting you want, but first you must decide what you want. This is what life is about "always changing and evolving".
You decide how you feel everyday. You give it a definition. You say this is good or bad. Only you are defining what you see. From what I read here I define your life currently as an oppertunity to figure out what you want in life and make a huge impact on peoples lives. See yourself as a strong and persuasive woman and you will be.
"What you think about (positive or negative) is what you will attract in life". That is the most important statement Ive learned in my time here
Two words which will change your life!
There are two words that, when spoken, have the most unfathomable power to completely change your life. Two words which, when they pass your lips, will be the cause of bringing absolute joy and happiness to you. Two words that will create miracles in your life. Two words that will wipe out negativity. Two words that will bring you abundance in all things. Two words which, when uttered and sincerely felt, will summon all the forces and vibrations in the Universe to move all things for you.
The only thing standing between you, happiness, and the life of your dreams, are two words...
THANK YOU
Gratitude is one of the easiest and most powerful ways to transform your life. If you become truly grateful, you will magnetize absolute joy to you everywhere you go, and in everything you do. In fact, without gratitude, nothing can ever change. Your life will change to the degree that you use gratitude and begin to feel grateful. If you are just a little bit grateful, your life will change a little bit. If you are very grateful, your whole life will change. If you live gratitude every single day, you will become one of the greatest human beings on the planet, and the light of your life will uplift our world.
Best of health to you
first of all, i think that you need to see a doctor and tell the doctor how you feel it could be that you have some kind of imbalence in your brain, and if that is the case he can put you on some med's that can fix you right up.i feel that you need to get new friend's because it seem's to me that the one's you have don't seem to care too much, they only want what you can give themor what you can do for them. as far as your husband goes i feel that he doesn't no what to do and realy don't want to be bother'ed with it.sweetie i no how you feel because i have been there also, if it wasnt for my doctor i think i would have done something to my self, so PLEASE take my advice and tell your doctor befor it is to late. oh and tell your friend's that you can't help them and see just how many of them are truly your friend. i will pray for you, and i pray that you get better, you can even talk to god your self.
Hi Hon... depression is an illness which can be difficult to live with... i understand very well, from my own, personal experience.
I saw my family doctor for my problems at first, and he made a referral.
Please understand that while your husband might get off his butt and do some things with you and interact, be supportive as well, he can't "fix" you... but maybe you can plan some things to do together? The zoo, an aquarium, a picnic, a hike... ? Or at home play a game, or cards... this would give you interactive time -- and i'm sure you can both find time to do something together once or twice a week? Just suggestions.
for your alone time, maybe you could try taking up a hobby? There are so many to choose from, and there are really nice arts and craft stores these days.
another thing you might do is join a gym, or even start your own walking/exercise program... you have your dog, so perhaps the two of you can go somewhere for walks, or even around the neighborhood. Exercise is a wonderful help with depression because it helps our brains to release endorphins (happy hormones) which give us a lift and make us feel better. I walk quite often (even if i have to force myself) and very pleased with how i feel afterwards.
As for your "friends" you might let them know that while you want to be supportive, you don't have time to talk. You can do this on occasions where the conversation seems to be all about them. Seems to me YOU are the one needing help and advice right now...
Sending hugs your way and i hope you get some good, sound answers here.