How do you cope with a suicide with no answers?!


Question: My aunt commited suicide three weeks ago, she just jumped onto the railroad. She had a daughter and left no note, my best friend commited suicide 8 years ago, he jumped onto the subway and he did not leave any note.


Answers: My aunt commited suicide three weeks ago, she just jumped onto the railroad. She had a daughter and left no note, my best friend commited suicide 8 years ago, he jumped onto the subway and he did not leave any note.

You just have to accept the fact that the idea of life was too much for them. Sometimes a note can hurt more, because it only says a little, when there is so much to say. Leaving no final trace of yourself is an attempt to cut yourself from existence completely, hoping for a quieter exit. I find that a note would be a sort of martyrdom, leaving a sort of legacy or remembrance behind, wanting everyone to miss you and adore your note.

I have written several suicide notes, and shredded them before every attempt. Once I intended to leave a poem, simply because it was the only thing I could think to say. Other than that, I think they are pointless.

I don't know hunny, but i am sorry for your loss.xxx

Not all suicidle people have regrets to leave... let alone a letter! it sometimes is a spur of the moment thing that will happen that day, and sorry to say, but many people who try to commit suicide are selfish and dont think how much hurt it will cause.

Hope this helps.

Be thankful that they are no longer under stress.

Wow this is hard one since there was no note or anything. Just know that their life got so bad they felt they could no longer deal with their life anymore! Also remember (if you believe in God) they are in a better place now and the pain is over. I am so sorry that you had to deal with two suicides; no one should have to go through that... Also, it is not your fault

Seek out grief counseling and take care of yourself! I am sorry to hear about your aunt and your friend. You can learn ways of coping in a group or private setting. ?

This is not good. They must of been really depressed and couldn't take it anymore. If that was the case remember that when you die you are at peace which means there happy. But it's not a good idea to commit suicide.

im sure you have other family members who are feeling the same. i know you are wondering why they have done this. they must have been in pain in some way. talking helps

Not much you can do really except just accepting what has happened.

Do not let yourself get into such a bad situation that you feel your only answer would be to do the same.

Learn from other's mistakes and make of life what you should.

Be happy :)

That is awful i just hope you have enough people around you to talk to and be supportive. Suicide is awful for everyone left behind. I'm really sorry for you and I just hope your cousin has some family to stay with.

Don't try looking for answers sometimes they simply cant be found. Instead celebrate all the good times you shared and all the love she brought to you and your family !! :)

One major thing to know is that it is not anyone's fault and there likely is nothing anyone could have done to really stop them. When someone gets to the point of suicide, their brains have cut them off so much from the world around them that they feel alone and hopeless - so much so that they are the ONLY ones who can find a way out of that darkness, no one can lead them out.

Also, realize that they did not do this to hurt anyone else. They were at such a low point that they saw no other way to end the pain they felt. It is a very desperate act, but not meant to be mean or selfish.

You may never find a real answer as to the specific reasons why they took their own lives, but know that in their own way - as sad as it is and as much as it may anger you that they took themselves from you - they have found peace. Also remember, there is no one to blame.

People who commit suicide don't usually tell anyone beforehand or leave a note... It is hard because you are looking for answers. These people must have been very much troubled to do this and you probably wish "why didn't they just get help"? or even come to me. You probably think that you could have helped in some way... You can round in circles about this... Nobody will ever know what these people were going through. You have to try and move on...

Sorry for your loss.

Don't look for answers, they don't exist.

Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems and is a very selfish act. However, it could have been worse (as in someone who takes several people with them on the way out).

Take time to heal. Be the best person you can be and eventually you will feel better.

Depression is a very curious illness and can attack its victim at the most inoppurtune moment. Your Aunt must have been really ill and desperate to feel there was only one way out. I understand your grief because I lost my brother over 8 years ago and I still ask why he didn't even say goodbye?!

I dont believe you.. Though I dont understand y people commit Suicide... When they cant create themselves then how can they terminate it??

From personal experience... it's pretty hard, that *why* is always there and plagued my mind for quite a while. Four years later it's still there, just not so insistent on asking itself. 'Coping' I think is more to do with just trying to make it through each day until you can get through each a little easier.

So sorry to hear you have lost two people, and your aunt just recently. : (

i think you could drive yourself crazy looking for answers that you will never find. you will be experiencing a wide range of emotions , sometimes in the space of minutes that are so intense you think they will never end. perhaps counselling might help resolve to some degree, but sadly there are no easy answers.

Sorry about your loss.
Believe me, suicide of a loved one even with a note left, leaves plenty of unanswered questions

I MYSELF HAVE MADE SEVERAL ATTEMPTS AT SUICIDE AT THE TIME WHEN I CANT THINK LOGIC LY ALL I WANT TO DO IS DIE AND I AM AFRAID THAT EVEN THE PEOPLE I LOVE CANT FIND AN ANS ER I WISH I COULD IT WOULD BE NICE TO FIND HAPPYNESS FOR ONCE AND NOT HAVE THOSE THOUGHTS AND THE CONSTANT THROBBING IN MY HEAD

I have attemped suicide before and this was when I was nineteen and I am now thirty five. In my experience I believe you lose control and at that point you do not know where you are at mentally. Was your aunt suffering depression beforehand or can you think of anything that bothered her. Was she possibly not happy with someone or something. If your seriously needing answers then you have to look around her also. Maybe something she just could not cope with knowing. I dont know, I am just trying to give you ideas, jog your memory. Not leaving a note would mean to me that it was a definite finale for them and they obviously couldnt give out any answers to why they wanted to do what they did. You are still greiving its only been three weeks or so and it takes a very long time to come to terms with loss.

I am sorry to hear of your loss sweetheart xxxxxxx

The absense of any written communication or note may indicate that your aunt and best friend may ahve been in two minds to do what they did, knowing the effect it may have only family.

It could have been a spur of the moment thing, or maybe they didnt have anything to say or know how to say it. It doent mean that they dont care but rather that they dont wnat to hurt people.

I wish I knew. A very close friend of mine commited suicide in 2004, and a v close family member in 2006. Neither of them left notes (I wished they had at the time). I wonder if they had, would the notes have been understood as intended, or would people (me included) have read between the lines, looking for things that were`nt there.
Take care of yourself,L

God meant it to be this way don`t be sad





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