Why do i feel like this and whats the answer ?!
Question: seriously how come when your in the depths with depression isolated, lonely as iam constantly..
life full of worry, battling through each day- im like this most days because ive had a terrible life and have borderline personality disorder.
but how come when iam like this, at my worst, i watch the tv...open a magazine....browse myspace...dating sites...come on yahoo answers....go outside to shop for myself, and everybody looks happy and contented...fulfilled, getting on with their lives light heartedly , except me ?
its like im on my own totally with the way i feel, im stuck in a pitch dark tunnel of dispair and isolation.....and everybody else is happy, contented, getting on with their lives....worlds away from my pain/ torment..
why does it seem this way to me ?
and honestly im not picking on everyone else, i don't be-grudge you of your happiness or nothing....but i feel jealous...looking at things that i want, but have never had, because of my traumatic life circumstances.
Answers: seriously how come when your in the depths with depression isolated, lonely as iam constantly..
life full of worry, battling through each day- im like this most days because ive had a terrible life and have borderline personality disorder.
but how come when iam like this, at my worst, i watch the tv...open a magazine....browse myspace...dating sites...come on yahoo answers....go outside to shop for myself, and everybody looks happy and contented...fulfilled, getting on with their lives light heartedly , except me ?
its like im on my own totally with the way i feel, im stuck in a pitch dark tunnel of dispair and isolation.....and everybody else is happy, contented, getting on with their lives....worlds away from my pain/ torment..
why does it seem this way to me ?
and honestly im not picking on everyone else, i don't be-grudge you of your happiness or nothing....but i feel jealous...looking at things that i want, but have never had, because of my traumatic life circumstances.
Lots of people feel like this.... people may appear happy, some are yet some are not. People who ahve friends may still be depressed,people who have partners may also still be depressed and lonely, may seem a bit unusual but sometimes the things we see on TV really are over exagerarted. You say you have never had a job, You should try a part time course anything, you are obviously literate, so you should have no problems gaining a qualification, or you may try art, express your feelings. You will be out and will meet people and you should be able to get a free course if you are on sickness. Its easy for me to say these things, but one tiny decision like starting a course could lead to new friends a job, a hobby, more friends. Also maybe you should see your doctor for some advice. I have very down days sometimes, usually due to me being unsucessful , having no carrees and terrible financial problems., every job I get people hate me, and get completely the wrong impression of me, I cant get get a good job, yet I was clever and went to a good school, basically I have failed, but today I am positive and I am applying for jobs that I know deep down I can do, just need to be a bit more assertive and less shy. I hope I can give you some more advice. Please reply to me if you so wish. Very few of the people in the media are truly happy they all ahve their problems, a lot of it is marketing or advertising.
Thats a terrible feeling that the worlds going along and you're on the outside and not taking part. I have the same feelings and it's a symptom of depression. I can't break out of this myself so I know how desperate you feel.
You are lonely. Something good is around the corner, really. Hang in there and you'll see. God has a plan for you.
Im sorry you feel like this. I can relate although maybe not so extreme as you seem to be.
I found an adult education course a great help, you meet like minded people, maybe make friends and learn something you may incorporate into a job or past time.
I know its a clique, to say 'join a club' but its worth a try. you are young, you have to make something of your life you cant sit in your flat forever.
make the effort and see where it takes you, you have nothing to lose.
Sorry to hear of your predicament, there are things you can do to get out of this rut but it wont be easy. First of all you need to join a group (maybe counselling) and also attending a local gym may help. You need to get involved in the community in some way to become part of the people you are envying. Voluntary work is an option for you. The world you are living in is not so far away from the world you see others in. Be brave and engage with people, smile at people as you walk by.
Good Luck
You have to be the change you want in your life. Have you spoken to a doctor about your feelings? Try to get some medical help for a start. Then get in touch with your higher self. Everyone has a higher self, just ask to see it. You can ask questions, but you have to still your mind to hear the answers. Do you still have all your senses? Then feel gratitude for your body and the things it does for you everyday. It needs to be appreciated. Things dont increase in value unless they are appreciated. Start with the small things it does for you every day and thank it for that. Theere must have been a time in your life when you felt well and happy. Even if it was when you were a child. Try to remember the times you felt good and appreciate that. Forgive yourself for all the times you have felt bad. Thankfulness and appreciation seem to be the emotions you need to feel at the moment. It helps me when I feel down.
I feel your pain, i also feel that way, it is depression and that is what it is. Go to your Doctor and tell him what you you told us and ask if he can help. I think agroup would help you, he can organise that, so you can get out of the house and sit with some people who feel the way you do, its tough to start with but it will be worth it. Good Luck!
You need to talk about your feelings with someone else. If you absolutely cannot think of a friend, family member, or neighbor to talk about stuff with go to a local reputable Christian church and ask to talk to a pastor or someone who doesn't mind talking about what's going on in your life (if it is really a truly Christian church, there should be tons of people to talk to about this working for them). It is amazing what a person can do when you've got an idea of what life is about. I had suicidal thoughts and extreme depression when I was younger and became a Christian and have been free of them ever since. Christianity gives you something to live for, someone who cares always about you (God), and is the only religion when placed under careful scrutiny, all archaeological evidence points to the events actually happening.
They are not all living a perfect life, but not everyone has as much time on their hands in which to feel sorry for themselves.
Why not get a voluntary job for a charity? Quick and easy way to self esteem and you meet loads of people. Worked for me, anyway.
You need something else to displace the pain and torment. You are obviously very literate. Why not to a Teaching English As A Foreign Lanuage course?
Flower arranging, swimming, baking scones, embroidery. Write a comedy pilot for BBC3.
Embrace Zen Bhuddism, hatch sea monkeys, put a whole pack of sherbert lemons into a bottle of vodka and when they've melted take the vodka to a party and share it with everyone you see. Buy some stripey socks. Put yourself on auction on ebay.
Allow yourself to have fun. You are entitled, just like everyone else. Give yourself permission to be defined by the happy instead of the sad.
You are alive, single and male with a working internet connection, and a good way with words. And I'll bet you know more good things about yourself than I do... I don't know you at all. Make a list of positives in your life - no bad stuff allowed.
I repeat... other people do not have these perfect lives you imagine. I could tell you horrific things about myself and just about everyone I know. Life experience is an OK thing to have. Turn the anger on its head and use your frustration as motivation.
OK, I'm tired now. And my wrist hurts from typing. All the very best.
you must ask the doctor; i think a psi will be good for you
jane
See just how many people are able to directly relate to your feelings, just from the answers you received. also, all answers were supporting and encouraging. No-one jumped on you or was critical and every answer had merit, care and thought So. my little addition is this. You clearly have insight and are able to break down and list all the reasons for your depression . Try the same sort of approach with your recovery and new life and remember you can 'only eat an elephant in bite size chunks'. Maybe try altering the least frightening thing in your life - say altering your enviroment with some flowers or decoration. Watch a really funny DVD. Once you have one small success under your belt then this WILL encourage you to try again. Don't let the odd failure or dissapointment set you back, it will have been a learning experience if nothing else. Remember, there is no one answer or quick fix for you or anyone else. Even if you seek medical, psychiatric or spiritual advice, each piece of 'specialist diagnostic advice' will most likely be different, although they may all 'work' or have value. But try the little, easier things first, like buying a new outfit, plant some seedings, clean a cupboard out, you will find that you are able, capable, useful, likeable. As your abilities become self-evident, and as your successes are proved to you - Yes, you can grow/look after a plant, yes you can have some control over your appearance and manner - you can buy a pair of trousers that look nice and ask for help from an assistant, as these things happen as they definitely will if you try them, then you will feel just that tad more confident and pleased with yourself. Success does breed success, and you might even get right into it and start looking out for, and trying, really hard things, like feeling relaxed or even socialising. Then the world will be your oyster, and you will have no excuse for anything. Look, this is your one and only go, no-one is going to turn round and say " Well, bearing in mind your particular circumstsnces and worthiness, we will, in your unique case, let you have another shot at it". But I think that bearing in mind your particular circumstances (young and well enough to succeed) traumatic past ( superb ability to empathisise with, relate to and be good, easy company. Not to mention your clarity and general all round capabilities at things, that I, VivaMaxine Do give you special permission to have another shot at it; just start small, be prepared to change and have determination in what you do.
If you fail as completely as you suggest, a second time around, , I am afraid you have picked the wrong advice.
Good luck and be brave.
Maxine