It didn't help...?!


Question: I used to, well kind of still have really bad anger problem, about a year ago I was locked in a mental hospital because of it, I destroyed my parents house, I was sticking my moms needles for her incline in my skin, and I was threatening to kill people, I honestly don't remember much of it, but as they say. So anyways I was 15 at the time, I still am, I'm almost 16 now though. Back to my point, They didn't think much of it, and let me out in two days, I was however sent to anger management, that maybe worked for a week, I did all the breathing crap and counting but it still didn't work, I can somewhat control what I do, but inside I really don't want to. I honestly don't want to bring this up to my family because it really was a tough time during this area of my life, and if I go to a doctor because I'm a minor they can tell my parents, so any idea what it is, what I can do? I really hate when I do it, but I don't want to stop, this happened again tonight, I destroyed my parents room.


Answers: I used to, well kind of still have really bad anger problem, about a year ago I was locked in a mental hospital because of it, I destroyed my parents house, I was sticking my moms needles for her incline in my skin, and I was threatening to kill people, I honestly don't remember much of it, but as they say. So anyways I was 15 at the time, I still am, I'm almost 16 now though. Back to my point, They didn't think much of it, and let me out in two days, I was however sent to anger management, that maybe worked for a week, I did all the breathing crap and counting but it still didn't work, I can somewhat control what I do, but inside I really don't want to. I honestly don't want to bring this up to my family because it really was a tough time during this area of my life, and if I go to a doctor because I'm a minor they can tell my parents, so any idea what it is, what I can do? I really hate when I do it, but I don't want to stop, this happened again tonight, I destroyed my parents room.

Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, "oh, it's awful, it's terrible, everything's ruined," tell yourself, "it's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow."

Be careful of words like "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or someone else. "This !&*%@ machine never works," or "you're always forgetting things" are not just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there's no way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.

Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won't make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse).

Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it'll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. In other words, saying, "I would like" something is healthier than saying, "I demand" or "I must have" something. When you're unable to get what you want, you will experience the normal reactions



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