How do i help him deal with his sexual abuse?!
Question: A very very close friend told me last night he was abused sexually as a child. His mother would basically whore him out to men for money when he was between the ages of 8 and 13. I have known him 5 years and he said last night was the first night he's told anyone but his dad and step mom.
Its obviously caused some problems. He has trust and commitment issues. For some time he wondered whether he was bi because the only sex he'd ever known was with a man....
He says being with me makes him forget about things.... but I dont want him to forget I want him to heal. He is 30 years old. What do I do?
Answers: A very very close friend told me last night he was abused sexually as a child. His mother would basically whore him out to men for money when he was between the ages of 8 and 13. I have known him 5 years and he said last night was the first night he's told anyone but his dad and step mom.
Its obviously caused some problems. He has trust and commitment issues. For some time he wondered whether he was bi because the only sex he'd ever known was with a man....
He says being with me makes him forget about things.... but I dont want him to forget I want him to heal. He is 30 years old. What do I do?
i was sexually abused by a neighbor teen when i was six. i struggled with all sorts of issues. i have fought depression and was close to suicide at points. i highly recommend malesurvivor.org. they have message boards for abuse victims and for those that are part of thier lives such as you are.
it took me five years of therapy to get my life together. it can be done, but it isnt a do it yourself project. if you like steer him my way and i can talk with him. ohiojeff@msn.com
the best thing you can do is continue to be there for him. he must really trust you to confide in you. coming out to someone is hard. try not to judge him, because that is what he fears. dont violate his confidence in you. i applaud you for seeking advice. it shows you care.
maybe getting him to tlak about it with a proffesional will help him a lot.... those kind of feelings dont just go away over night.... its gonna take a long time.
thats great that he is comfortable enough to confide in you, you are right though...don't take the place of his pain...he needs to deal with it by either talking it out...therapy...writing out his pain. sounds like he is at the age where he needs to heal. be there for him but encourage him to get help...good luck friend! Hugs to both!!!
Comfort him, be a good listener and help him find professional help when he's ready.
Good luck
it awful what happened to him he needs counselling to come to terms with it his mother is disgusting and should be locked up for inflicting that on an 8yr old i had a horrible childhood and had a breakdwn last yr counselling has helped me sooo much
Possibly not break his confidence immediately by posting the details on here!!?? F**king hell, did he make a mistake telling you!!!!!!